I had a hard time dealing with death as a child. My grandparents who were my main emotional support died suddenly and young of heart attacks. I was devastated at the time and did not deal well.

I have dealt with death with many of my close friends. I have lost all my best friends - one to car accident and two to brain tumors. All in their 30's.

Needless to say I have felt so alone and had a family with zero empathy towards my tired and aching heart. "get over it" "No use in dwelling" "Life goes on". I knew all that, my but the teaching of forever, didn't mesh with my sensitive soul that I lost my friends. My family I could talk.

My family lives in denial. We never communicate about anything. Anything. If I try, I am either bringing up things that don't matter or I am ignored. Like literally they will stare at the t.v. and pretend they don't hear me.

I only recently told them I left the church. They didn't care. They shrugged their shoulders and were like whatever. Funny I wanted a reaction in any way (even if it was negative).

Anyways, they know how I have hurt over death. They know the main thing I am trying to work on is being okay with death. It is not a hilarious subject to me.

So I walk in and my dad (who has been unhealthy as well as my mom the last few years in the 'who cares anymore about our lives..let's eat a donut" kind of way) says to me:

I went to the doctor yesterday. I have cancer throughout my body.

After my shocked look, he starts laughing like a damn hyena and says, 'April Fools Day'. I instantly reacted and told him that was the most disrespectful thing he could do as a 'joke'. My emotionally abused (by him) mom gave a slight smirk. Suddenly I 'couldn't take a joke', 'that was all I could think of for April Fool's Day'.

p.s. My daughter was there. She has no father and this is her only grandparents. Luckily, she didn't hear as she was playing with my brother's baby.

The conclusion: I am rude for getting mad. I am too sensitive. I am 'always' being mean to them. (I solely affirmed it was a joke that was not appropriate in front of children or to me). He was pouty and rude. No one said anything.

Then he started laughing again.


I went home and sobbed for the life I know I must leave and can never turn back. I have come too far in the last year to be told I am too sensitive to a joke that should have never been told due to my past issues. Should I be ok with jokes? Sure but at what cost to my mental health do I need to deal with this narcissist.

I sobbed for my mother's lack of sticking up for me at any capacity as a child and now into adulthood.

I sobbed for that little girl who lost all her friends and nary a word except for 'meh. you'll see them again'

But hey cancer's funny.

April Fool's Day to me; the ultimate fool for thinking they would ever change.

How this affects me as I get close to 40 amazes me. They really, really suck. That is all I have left in me to say.

Thanks for "listening".

That really sucks. I'm so sorry your parents pulled that nasty joke on you.

You're not being too sensitive. They're being insensitive.

knotheadusc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're not being too sensitive. They're being
> insensitive.


Exactly. I've lost a lot of people too, including my best friend due to a brain aneurysm at 16.

No, that was not funny. Who in their right mind would think it is? What a jerk.

As saviorself said, I think that would be the last straw for me.

(((HUGS)))

You didn't get your sensitivity from your parents. That's for sure.

Not a nice April Fool's joke. It was sick.

I hope for him and you it doesn't become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Cancer really sucks!

No, you are not being too sensitive. That was a cruel joke.

It's odd how some Mormons downplay death due to "forever families." The mainstream Christians also believe that they will be reunited with their loved ones one day, but along with that they understand that grieving is natural and normal.

((((())))))Hugs to you, and I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
You were not being too sensitive, cant take a joke, etc. You reacted normally under the circumstances. Your father appears to be a narcissistic, cold hearted asshole. Your mother is right there with him for defending him when he's cruel and not defending you. You may want to consider staying away from him them permanently. My heart goes out to you.

Personally, I don't like April Fools' day. I managed to get through yesterday without being pranked. I think a lot of people don't like it, and it usually causes various problems because many people take it too far.

What a sicko...

You have a whole year to plan your revenge. Make it a doozy.

IMO your father's sadistic joke should be the last straw. I suggest you cease and desist from any contact with him. Let that be the first step in your healing.

Oh my goodness! If he's not careful karma will get him.

Briggy

Have you tried to distance yourself and seldom visit them?

That's what I had to do with my parents. I'd rather spend time by myself than with insensitive oafs.

If someone did that to me, it would be the last straw, and I would permanently cut them out of my life. I've lost friends and family to cancer, and it's a cruel thing to even joke about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/02/2016 08:34PM by adoylelb.

You are not required to be around people you don't like, even if they are family. I have slowly discovered I am just not like my extended family.

Anyway, try limiting your time with them, and if they complain, just tell them you just don't like them. Then when they get mad, tell them they are just too sensitive.

No, you are most definitely not being too sensitive. That is a cruel, inappropriate 'joke' that is not in the least bit even remotely funny! I am sorry you have to deal with them and, like adoylelb said, that would be the 'last straw' for me, also. Very cruel and insensitive! If that is his idea of an April Fool's joke, then, in my opinion, it is HE who is the Fool!

What your father did to you was deliberately cruel. There was nothing wrong with your strong reaction - you are a normal, caring person who has lost a number of dear ones to death. Given that your father knows this, his so-called joke was nothing short of sadistic and speaks to a pathological problem in his character.

My mother can be deliberately cruel and sadistic. Several years ago, I completely withdrew from the relationship for my own emotional well-being and to protect the emotional health of my children. I've been judged very negatively by other family members for doing this, but it was the best thing I could have done for myself and my kids. No more pulling knives out of my back and no more having to maintain constant vigilance to try to avoid being verbally or emotionally blindsided or poisoned by a toxic parent or grandparent. I have no regrets and feel relieved that I no longer have contact with my mother.

I'm glad your child didn't overhear what their grandfather said. Like others have said, it may be time for you to pull away in order to protect yourself and your child or children. You deserve kindness and consideration.

I'm sorry. Even said to someone without the experiences you've had, that is one sick joke. That's so awful.