Posted by:
midwestanon
(
)
Date: April 07, 2016 06:54PM
I think whoever is paying for or owns the house should be able to dictate things like that; I assume since you described it as the 'family house' then that means it's the house you grew up in with your brothers, sisters, and parents. So if you spent time there at some event with your fiancee, sleeping in the same room, that means it had your parents tacit acceptance. That should probably be the end of it right there, it seems like anyone else who says anything about it is making an unnecessary fuss. Your brother's appeal to safeguarding his children's morality is what it is, but since it has already been determined that you and your fiancee sleeping in the same room was kosher, it seems like he was just trying to make trouble by making an issue out of it.
For example, every 2 years, my grandparents rent a huge house for us to have a family reunion. If I showed up with some chick and said we were gonna be staying in a room together (obviously in this scenario we aren't married), they would throw a shit fit, and ultimately forbid it, because they're all mormons and that kind of thing is not ok with them. That's within their rights, they paid for it, their rules. If I paid for the big house, it would be a different story. Something kind of like this did happen last reunion, but the people involved were super subtle, and my cousin's mom is an exmo so she didn't care that he and his fiancee were sleeping together, since they had been for like 5 years (they lived in a house in Tucson together). That family had a whole wing of the reunion house to themselves anyway, and I only figured it out from context clues, and because I'm not a world-ignorant dupe like every mormon in my family apparently is.
Point is, I can see it both ways. If your brother got huffy and said a bunch of offensive shit, where he was clearly in the wrong, and still hasn't apologized about it, (which he probably won't; he's a TBM, and therefore morally above reproach, and can think and do no wrong, since he's got gawd on his side) I think it's in your right to not want him there. I think different people have different ways of looking at things like that, to be utterly simplistic about it. Some people might see a wedding as something where family absolutely has to be there regardless of personal disputes, or they might not. I'm not gonna judge you whatever you decide.
On the other hand, him not being able to go might give him a taste of what it's like to not to be at a wedding, just like all the unendowed people who don't get to be at other mormon couple's weddings. I mean, if you want to get really, really petty about it ;)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2016 06:57PM by midwestanon.