Hello everyone! I'm a never-mo in love with a born and raised Mormon man. :-) In short, I went to the ward for a time but cannot convert. I was raised in evangelical Xian. I absolutely cannot align myself with the fraud (IMO) that is the Mormon corporation and the liar and polygamist Joseph Smith.

Because I'm still on the email list for the ward, I learn of ward activities. I've seen a pattern and want to ask, 'is this typical?' Here's two examples:

1.
"FYI- Today and tomorrow (8a-1p) is the annual neighborhood garage sale. We will participate tomorrow only. I listed the houses who have pre-registered to participate below, but others will typically join in last-minute.

We've want any ward members to know that you'll receive items either deeply discounted or free."

2.
"We are moving and can't take our Baldwin piano with us. It is posted on Craigslist for sale but we would be willing to sell it to a church member for $200 off the Craigslist price."

I've also observed special treatment at restaurants when I'm dining with members. We've received all sorts of free menu items simply because the people in charge were in the same ward.

I know my Scriptures pretty well and I feel confident that Jesus was royally pissed off with the special treatment given to 'worthy' people by the Pharisees.

My question remains: Is this typical? How do members justify this? I could be standing at a garage sale, for example, and I have to pay $10 as a non-member and a member standing next to me would get the item 'deeply discounted or free'. How is this fair? How is this helpful toward the Church's goal of coverting investigators?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2016 12:23AM by carameldreams.

The answer to your question is bound up in the word "worthy" that you used. If you are not a Mormon, you are not worthy. According to many Mormons, you never were and you never will be worthy if you are not a Mormon, yourself. And if, in a fit of self-loathing, you do convert, you will still never be as worthy as the BIC Mormons.

Particularly in Utah,and other strongholds of TSCC, the whole song and dance that you see around Mormons giving other Mormons special treatment is something that you will probably see in that and in many other contexts and applications for as long as you are involved in Mormon society.

Mormons are the only truly righteous people. They are the only truly godly people. They are the only truly happy, moral, decent, wise, sensible, chaste, loving, modest, and spiritual people. And, by the way, if it's not obvious, they are also the only truly and deeply humble people on earth.

Some of them may deny that they feel that way, but for all too many, actions speak louder than words.

I've met a few exceptions to this. They really do exist. But they are just a little bit out of step with the truly true Mormons of the truly true Mormon cultures.

And I thought converts were more valuable to the church than BIC Mormons? Meaning, converts chose to join as adults rather than the 'you're 8 years old, time to baptize' group?

Well, here's how I understand it from my Mormon relatives and from what I read here: TSCC, as a corporation, wants converts very much, because the church wants as much money as it can possibly get. So they romance converts. Until after they are securely wrapped up in the Mormon fabric. See "Mormon Love Bombing."

However, once the new convert is secured, they turn their attentions to more important things and more important people.

The concept of Mormon royalty is a very real thing.If you are directly related to any of the old founding families, you are automatically more favored than anyone who is not connected in that way. If you were born to Mormon parents, you are automatically more favored than someone who is not.

Many (most?) Mormons believe that the circumstances of your birth result directly from your valor and goodness in the spirit world before your birth into the physical world. So if you were a really super-duper righteous dude in the pre-existence, you are born as a Mormon male in a wealthy family of Mormon royalty. If you are a little less wonderful, but still righteous and all, you might be born in a regular Mormon family, but definitely not royalty.

If you were even less perfect, you might still be born as a white person in the United States, but not Mormon. And if you were a total jerk in pre-existence, you would be born as a third-world woman in abject poverty and misery.

So, to many Mormons, the circumstances of your birth are direct indicators of you original moral worth. And even if you convert, you are still a person who is obviously lesser than anyone who is born a Mormon. Because, if you weren't inferior, if you didn't have some huge deficit to make up, you would have been born to a Mormon family.

You used the words "members" "nonmembers" and "investigators". Very strange choice of words for a never-mo. I can only assume you have been around Mormons for a very long time or you are fishing.

from first line of OP:

"Hello everyone! I'm a never-mo in love with a born and raised Mormon man."

I honestly don't think they're fishing.

a considerable amount of time immersed in Mormon culture.

Just wanted to point that out. I've noticed that even long time exmos on this board tend to take things for granted. (As in the use of those words).

People who have not been fairly well immersed in Mormon culture do not typically use those words in that context.

Anyone who dated me knew a lot of mormon jargon by the end of our third romp in the hay, which we still be before the end of the first date. I'm just sayin'...

Is this policy of lower pricing for members even legal in the USA? In Europe it definitely isn't. At an auction house, you have to sell to the highest bidder unless the highest bid is below your minimum. In an ordinary shop, you have to price items in advance and are not allowed to ask a higher or lower price from certain people.

Of course, some businesses will still give discounts to regular customers, but this is tolerated if everyone has the opportunity to become one. I know of a shop run by Indians that gave heavy discounts to anyone who happened to be from the right parts of India. It was fined out of existence by the city's inspectors.

It is called,, "ENTITLEMENTS". Seen it many times in Utah valley.

IN b 4 ~ its not fair nor helpful

There was a time when mormon owned or approved businesses had thd behive symbol over their door so members knew where to shop.

Oh wow about the beehives. Growing up in various churches (all the ones who's 'creeds are an abomination to God'), I never felt this ick factor about those who were in and out. Sure, the fish on cars, fish on Xian biz cards, etc. But this is different.

I'm confident special pricing was never part of the perks of the Christian churches I grew up in. Just gross.

Kinda like hearing in Gospel Doctrine or Relief Society about how awful so and so's neighbor is, or how they are 'working' on a certain dentist or doctor in the community. The gossip about non-members is disgusting. If these neighbors, et al were truly evil, then I guess, gossip about them at church. But they are simply living their lives and likely have no idea they are ripped on by these oh, so nice Mormons.

Yes, it's common for mormons to give other mormons special treatment in business dealings. And for mormons to *expect* special treatment from other mormons in business dealings. One reason my TBM step father left Utah after only 3 years (he was so looking forward to moving there to be "among the saints") was that expectation, he found that all the mormons in his ward would use his services (he's an attorney), and then wonder why he was asking them to pay normal rates, or to pay at all. They'd get offended ("but, we're in the same ward!") when he'd bring up money they owed him.

I'd like to point out, though, that in the town I live in now (Southern California, rural), the largest church in town has as members the owners of one of two gas stations in town, and the only large-sized diner/deli in town. The owners of those places give discounts to members of the same church (and evangelical christian one). I asked the gas station owner once if that was fair...he replied, "Sure -- join our church and you can get the discount too!"

It's not just mormons.

A member of a ward where I resided many years ago was the business manager for a large block of rent subsidized apartments. He would notify the bishop of any pending vacancy so the bishop could refer suitable tenants for heavily discounted accommodations. These apartments became know as "Mormon Heights."

But it's not treatment you would like.

This whole economic thing with giving members discounts and gouging non-members goes back to Kirkland Ohio and disputes with the locals there, the practice intensified in Nauvoo when the saints literally over ran the country side in with their huge settlement with preferential treatment for Mormons. I became aware of this reading some papers some family members found from one of my ancestors who ran a brick making business in Nauvoo. He believed the ill will of the locals in Illinois was largely due to the Mormons trying to cheat and gain financial advantage - this guy later became a general authority so it's not like he was a bitter exmo critic.

When the California Gold rush and western immigrants came through Utah, the Mormons gouged them on prices. Mark Twain wrote a funny piece on this in his collection of his experiences in the west called "Roughing It." Another ancestor of mine made a fortune selling beef to at exorbidant prices to California Gold miners - and I inherited some of his property, he made so much money it is still spread around the family.

Eternal pricing available. Inquire within with recommendation.

Is this policy of lower pricing for members even legal in the USA? In Europe it definitely isn't. At an auction house, you have to sell to the highest bidder unless the highest bid is below your minimum. In an ordinary shop, you have to price items in advance and are not allowed to ask a higher or lower price from certain people.

Of course, some businesses will still give discounts to regular customers, but this is tolerated if everyone has the opportunity to become one. I know of a shop run by Indians that gave heavy discounts to anyone who happened to be from the right parts of India. It was fined out of existence by the city's inspectors.

Or maybe it is simply because of the community and friendship they share with each other. I don't see anything wrong with this. I would do it with friends at work as well. This isn't special treatment, it is social connections and interaction.

I don't know if it's legal for a business to do what the OP describes, but as far as the garage sale, I belong to a mothers' club that has done something very similar for years. (We are not affiliated with any religion.) We hold a yearly "yard sale," actually held at a local church where we rent space, as our main fundraiser.

We allow all members who help with the sale (planning, setting up, working as cashiers, etc.) to get a 10% discount on the goods for sale, plus we allow all our club members, even those not volunteering for the sale, to shop an hour early before we open to the general public, to get first pick of the best stuff. It seems fair to me since we are members of a voluntary non-profit organization, albeit a non-religious one...I guess any church can give its members the same breaks if it's just for a garage sale.

I would guess that anywhere there is an lds person in a decision-making position there will be special treatment for lds persons.

It is the way of the world in the morridor.

It is impossible to know about your circumstances, but it is relatively common for congregations to have household swaps, where everyone puts out things for others to take. I'm wondering whether in your case, they've decided that since it is a neighborhood thing, they should sell to everyone, even if they are happy to donate it to each other (in which cases I'd bet that there are households which will trade to everyone whether a member or not).

As for the piano, wanting to give it to someone who will learn and then be able to do music callings (for which there is often a big need) might be prompting the discount.

No matter how you look at it, you're still so much better off than they are.