This is something Kirby should read after this past Sunday's article. The amount of damage the Mormon church does to people is incalculable.

Here are some excerpts from the end of the story. It is 38 pages long. It did not fit on the bb:

http://www.exmormon.org/The-Story-of-Leaving-Mormonism-12-7-2016.pdf

"...Imagine losing every bit of your culture: your daily routine, the way you spend holidays, the way you make decisions about your money and your time, your family and friends, your position in your community, and most importantly your thoughts, ideas, fears, successes, failures, beliefs, and every aspect of your personality. It’s like waking up with amnesia. You have no point of reference any more. You have never learned how to have a real relationship with a person, because you have always been assigned relationships. You have a hard time conversing with people because the church was always on the tip of your tongue, and the subject of every conversation...

The RfM helped me in so many ways. I found out I was not alone. I found out that there were people suffering far worse than I was. I learned about all of the inconsistencies of the church, and where to read more about them. I learned that I had a voice. I learned that although I have rejected Mormonism, it is part of my persona, and that it will always be with me, whether I like it or not.

I have been a lurker and sometimes poster for over 20 years now. I skip over the doctrinal stuff most of the time, because for me, it can’t get any “falser”. I go now for the humor mostly, and for the camaraderie. I love to laugh at the whole Mormon genre, about boring sacrament meetings, hymns we hate, temple garments, funeral potatoes, and all the other crazy things we did because we thought God wanted us to do it that way. There is not another person in my real life (though I know my husband tries) that can understand the pain behind the humor. So I go to the RfM, where there are a wholebunch of people who get the humor…and understand the pain...."

edit: She requested her board name be added. Will be in the final version: applesauce



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2016 11:59AM by Eric K.

The story is long, but very powerful. I recommend giving it a look.

CZ (admin)

Well if the zip endorses it, that's as close to gospel as you can get.

I need to start my own MLM.

"Imagine loosing your" (public) culture, your routine" / the whole paragraph

Thank you Eric K

Quite a remarkable journey for one person to make.

Thanks for sharing her story and for her sharing it here, with the rest of us.

I do not know the posting name of the author, but thank you! Thanks to Erick also for providing a place for important stories like this.

I couldn't stop reading this well written story. I feel a little sick now that I have gotten through it.

Holy sh!t, I am so sorry you endured such a messed up childhood. I'm glad your dad is dead. I'm angry he got away with what he did for so long.

Considering your story, you are an inspiration for coming out of all that and the religion too. The church was completely worthless - just an outlet for your screwed up family.

Thank you. I have a feeling that if I knew your posting name, you have already contributed much to RfM. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thanks Erick.

Thanks Eric for posting this story and for your time, effort, dedication and service to RFM.

Thanks very much also to the poster for writing and sharing your very personal and heartfelt feelings and experiences. Your writing touched my remembrances and emotions, making me feel that I have another important unseen friend who truly understands me and one that I can understand.

Wow! What an amazing life! Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Eric for posting this and to the author for writing it.

I was moved to tears at several points reading this. Like you (the author), I don't really believe in Hell, but when I read about people like your parents, I am sorry that there probably isn't one.

I loved one of your last paragraphs about how you "win" every time you look in the mirror and feel good (I loved "What Not to Wear" too, by the way!), every time you can sleep in on a Sunday, every time you can enjoy a simple coffee or beer...I am so happy for you that you have a made a peaceful, successful, happy life!

I'm so glad this story was told. It has so many similarities to my journey through mormonism. My situation wasn't quite as extreme, but there are so many things that are so close and so familiar. I found myself flinching as the experiences were described.

The idea that the church will help you if you're in this type of family is so misleading.

I've known a lot of kids/women/boys that are in families where this kind of thing is going on for decades. The church not only doesn't help, but usually re-victimizes the victims, and covers for the perps and their enablers. I've seen it over and over. It's sickening. The church cares more about the image of the church than the horrors that the victims are being subjected to. If you dare to tell on one of their revered PH holders, you'd better be strong. The mormon church will come after you with both barrels loaded.

I've been on the receiving end of the mormon church and their brand of justice. They have no problem using the victims and throwing them to the dogs over and over. It's disgusting.

They protect the perps and blame the targets for not being able to protect themselves. They go so far as blaming young kids for enticing adult perps to commit rapes, beatings, and emotional abuse. When it comes right down to it, the mormon church is a very dangerous place for kids who have the misfortune to find themselves in the presence of a predator. The kids will not be protected. They will be blamed and then abused over and over.

That's been my experience with growing up mormon. I hope more and more stories like this come out into the open. It shines a light on the many experiences of those who have had the misfortune of of growing up in the mormon church. The church has bought the silence of victims for many generations. It's long past time for these stories to be told, and the church to be held accountable for the part it has played in the coverups and buy offs. To hell with the phony image the mormon church has bought at the cost of young and vulnerable victims.

I read every word of it. It is powerful.

Thank you to the author for sharing it.

Congratulations to applesauce on overcoming such huge challenges and making a great life for yourself and your family. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

This is why I believe that Kirby participates, or actually perpetuates the banality of evil that is the church. It's not harmless and all in good intentions. It's evil and it leaves its wake of destruction everywhere. It's not funny that he makes a living off of the ability to justify misery.

A heartfelt thank you to Applesauce and Erik.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2016 01:35PM by Devoted Exmo.

I read the whole thing in one sitting. Life can deliver many painful experiences and religion isn't the solution. Facing the truth on its uncompromising terms is.

Great read. Thank you for sharing.

I wish I had something to say that is worthy of this awesome narrative.

First, thank you for writing this. It was bizarre, sad, frightening, and inspiring as heck. You are something special.

I wish you and your family all the best. Thank you for providing something inspirational and motivational for others who have not yet escaped the grasp of the cult.

Wow, applesauce! Just...wow! I am in awe. I appreciate your story, so different from mine but not so different from others here. Thank you for writing.

Thanks, Eric, for sharing.

My reaction is the same as Bruce's: WOW!

Thanks applesauce for writing it. You are an impressive, strong person who has made something beautiful from awful adversity. Well done!

My best wishes to you, your husband and children.

Tom in Paris

Applesauce, your heart-wrenching story is important, and I'm glad you wrote and shared it.

I just finished reading applesauce's story - I began it yesterday (at work) and read every word. I don't know what the reference is to Kirby or who he is but I don't think that matters. Thank you Eric for posting this and thank you applesauce for writing it. I see so much of myself in your story and felt many of the same feelings you did when you left the church. Your story is so poignant and heart wrenching - but the best part is that you lived to tell it! The joy you find now in such simple things as coffee or sleeping in on Sunday morning brings such hope to my heart. What an amazing, strong, wonderful woman you are! I wish you all the best for a very long, fulfilled, loving, happy life!!

Finally read it after having it earmarked for a week.
Applesauce I don't know what to say. What an incredible story, and you wrote so well. I almost felt like I was there at times, watching it unfold.

I'm glad it ended in triumph. (((Hugs)))

Applesauce, you are wonderful and strong to have lived through that hellish nightmare of a life. ((((HUGS)))) I, too, felt like I was there with you...your writing is beautiful.

And so are you.

Most sincerely,
edzachery

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. It took me 20 years to write this thing!

My goal was to help one person. If my story helps one poor woman looking for her inner strength, to find it and get away from unhealthy relationships, then getting this story out has been a success.

Please also critique my writing. This is the first thing I've written for public consumption since I was in college.

This is the precursor to starting a blog about depression and Mormon women. I am new at blogging so any help you can give me is well appreciated.

Again, thank you all. Love and hugs back at ya! applesauce

I wish we had a "Like" button.

Applesauce, I read your story the whole way through. I think it is wonderful that you were able to summon and build your inner strength in order to create a better life for yourself and your family. There was one passage in particular that really spoke to me --

"Christians have tried to scare me with the whole Judgment Day thing. First of all, I don’t really believe there will be a Judgment Day. I think that if anyone tries to judge me, judge my actions after the life that I was handed, then they’re going to get an ear full from me. I don’t think anyone has the right to judge me after what I went through. I am truly proud of what I did."

I feel the same way. I've worked bloody hard, endured a lot, and I've done many tough things. Anyone who wants to judge me will get an ear full from me as well!

I admire you for going into engineering. I have no doubt it's been tough. I was working in a hotel kitchen back in the early 80s, and I met up with a lot of the same sexism. I've seen it in other jobs as well.

As a nevermo, your story also encouraged me in my efforts to help people leaving the Mormon church. I want newly minted exmos to feel like the non-Mormon world, although perhaps initially a puzzling place, will be a welcoming one to them.

Amazing retelling of your life. I am so glad you took the time to put all down and share it. I know of others who who have also been down the streets of hell. They usually only share their journeys to a select few probably because the re-telling is simply to painful. You have amazing courage. I am sending this link to others who have been able to share similar life stories with me. Hats off to you!