I agree with windway; most non-mo and other non-exclusive church weddings are more like secular events/celebrations. The most "churchy" things are playing dress-up and the hard pews.
The choices aren't courthouse or church. Back yards, a beach, a house, club house, a park... anywhere the couple chooses.
But OP, you have a point. A courthouse is a warmer and more welcoming environment than a temple. No one has to be left out due to dysfunctional controls.
I was never "sealed" in a temple, and obviously probably never will, well, I hate creepy s***. I only asked because I heard horror stories of temple sealings going bad, or that it was never in what couples dreamed of, such as open spaces or a Cinderalla type of wedding ceremony. I always like to look out for others so they don't have to experience sadness and regret.
I got married on a beach at sunset. Everyone was welcome to attend -- there was no checking of paperwork and magic underwear to get in. There was no religious officiant -- the mayor of the town my wife grew up in married us. We had pit-roasted pig, tons of fresh fruit, and an open bar on the beach after.
I recommend it to anyone :) Beats a mormon temple any day.
Weddings imo are just a huge waste when the failure rate is fifty percent...go down to the justice of peace...get your i dos done...if you make ten years then lets have a party...this fairy tale horse shit of dressing up like princesses awaiting your knight to sweep you off to valhalla and its attendant expense could sure be put to better use...like a new car if your well to do...or a downpayment on a house...hell i had one son blew fifty thousand on rings alone for nonstarters who wouldnt give em back haha..another who blew seventy to get rid of a huge mistake in less than a year......im sure that bothers them a little now as they struggle to put together a down payment...but like most young people you cant tell em anything...i know you couldnt tell me much...but we did the JofP...ring was a nice gold number cost 70 dollars...at two bucks an hour that was a weeks wages...decades later the only thing id change is the ending...she lost that expensive ring twice in the flower beds...last time we never found it...sure glad it wasnt ten grand like the one my DIL lost down the drain in a restroom...those days ten grand could buy afairly decent house...haha...who cares,..do what you want...were all aloud to do stupid shit...
Trails end Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Weddings imo are just a huge waste when the > failure rate is fifty percent...go down to the > justice of peace...get your i dos done...if you > make ten years then lets have a party...
We (my wife and I) just celebrated 24 years. Are you paying for the party? ;-0
Most nevermos that I know arrange for a venue and an officiant. The venue can work for both the wedding and the reception. Or you can have an outdoor wedding with the venue as a backup.
I got married on paper because we didn't have time or money for a ceremony but are planning on have one anyway next year, on a beach with my family and whoever wants to come, and the person marrying or blessing us will be my uncle who is a Catholic priest even though we're not Catholic. He says he'll wear his priestly robes, and do it for the free holiday and a nice bottle of whiskey. The family dogs will all be in attendance too. It's going to be great fun! That's what a wedding should be.
Yes. My SIL works for the historic renovation projects in town, so they got a good deal on a historic brownstone where they now live--so it was a nice setting, not just like a picnic or something. And we had an archway and things like that. Because we paid nothing for the venue, and the cake was made for us by a friend who owns a bakery, and we made our own decorations and didn't need a DJ, we were able to splurge on the food, flowers, etc. We also had a ton of money left over for the honeymoon, so we had quite an expensive one for 2 weeks because the wedding cost practically nothing.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2017 02:11PM by Loyalexmo.
We got married in the living room of my tiny rented house I shared with two roommates. There were just 5 other people there including the pastor. We were broke, both in school and working. Our honeymoon was spent overnight at a Holiday Inn in West Covina. We both had to be back at school on Monday morning.
Her folks hated me, and my folks were convinced the wedding wouldn't last. Small weddings seldom last very long, they said.
We'll celebrate 29 years this September. Sometimes when I tell my wife, "I love you," she replies, "you'll get over it."
Tall Man, Short Hair Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We'll celebrate 29 years this September. Sometimes > when I tell my wife, "I love you," she replies, > "you'll get over it." > > I'm still waiting.
No. Weddings should be a public celebration of two people's commitment to each other. That's exactly what's wrong with TSCC temple sealings!
I've been married 27 years (and won't make it to 28) w/ a JP ceremony and terribly regret it. Now that I've formally resigned from TSCC, my wife feels completely cheated because her temple sealing is null-and-void. If I would have given her the whole big wedding thing, I doubt that she would feel quite as bad about having the rug pulled out from underneath her.
Do the public wedding. It doesn't have to be over the top expensive but it does need to be a very, very, very public celebration of your commitment.
I was actually thinking about this a few weeks ago on how the hell would I want to get married now if I do get married and I have no idea maybe something quick from the courthouse like you said was the best I could come up with, definitely no churches.
One of my best friends since college days (in the 60s) is gay, and about 3 years ago, when California made it legal, he married his partner of 31 years in a courthouse.
I didn't know about it until he mentioned it in a Christmas letter. I was delighted to hear about it, and I called to offer belated congratulations. When I begged for some wedding pictures, he e-mailed me some. He said that the people in the courthouse went out of their way to make it a "special" day, with a flowered archway, all kinds of other flowers around the room, and a clerk/witness who seemed as delighted as if she were everyone's grandmother.
I had not met the guy that my friend married, but my friend looked SO happy. I'm glad that I asked for those pictures.
One med student, one nursing student, one Episcopal minister and one witness pulled in from the church office. Gainesville, Florida. 1976. Three kids, four dogs, one cat,four grandchildren and 19 national championships for my Gators in various sports later still going strong at 41 years. Fancy? Nope. Lasting.... and satisfying? YES...
gatorman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > One med student, one nursing student, one > Episcopal minister and one witness pulled in from > the church office. Gainesville, Florida. 1976. > Three kids, four dogs, one cat,four grandchildren > and 19 national championships for my Gators in > various sports later still going strong at 41 > years. Fancy? Nope. Lasting.... and satisfying? > YES... > > Gatorman > 9-4 > 23-5 > 3-1
Congrats to you! Sounds like a seriously wonderful troop you've created.
And ditto for the "satisfying" part. I want "drama" to be an elective course in college, not a description of my marriage.
Anywhere but a VERY UNCOOL moron (so-called) temple, which is not a real wedding anyway, from what I've seen and heard, where they FORCE you to marry tscc rather than one another, for one thing.
ours experience was different than what westerly described. married at the local courthouse during Walk In wedding hours. called them a week ahead, said we were arriving on that specific date.
we filled the jury box, spectator gallery and counsellor tables with our friends and family. it was a very lovely, very special ceremony.
not everyone brings supporters and some have to draft a clerk as a witness. not us.
and a bargain at simply the cost of the civil licence.
I'd go with a destination wedding. I have a friend who got married in Negril, Jamaica. It was just her, hubby, and a few friends who went (second marriage for both). So they bought a nice wedding package and then all their friends, for gifts, could go in on their web site and buy something to add to it, i.e., a dinner on the beach, glass bottom boat tour, spa day, all kinds of things. They didn't need anything else. They put the pics up on the site and when they got home they were relaxed, hadn't had to deal with relatives, and lived happily ever after, until they divorced 3 years later. But, you know...
amongst the myriad forms of human love & ritual commitment ... if there isn't anyone you can claim as your own, why not make your wedding ritual outside the church box. Have it outside under starlight (instead inside a temple with artificial light) have it reflecting waters from a lake (instead of reflecting mirrors kneeling across the temple altar) have it in nature (instead of in a room off a temple hallway off a projector room projecting nature murals and cinematography of nature scenes, or even live actors gesturing at imagined nature scenes) have it in a public national or state park I suggest Patrick Point State Park (instead of in an orchestrated temple recommend ticket entrance only privacy) have it at sky diving school or open widowed ski lodge or ocean pier (instead of an enclosed inward structured temple space) have it dancing in an Elvis wedding in Vegas (instead of white bakers hat/cone head Mormon temple lds theme wedding)
have it after youre no longer burned out by Mormonism & loves light burns bright without bishops interrogation hovering over excommunication rescinding your temple recommend for love beyond a simple kiss if you take a sample of your partners bliss and the secret stolen intimate expression of love were ever confessed- life getting married under duress & stress.
I'm glad I didn't get married in the temple. Man, theyfont prepare you for anything. I guess it's " find out when you get there". Sounds like there's no rehearsals either. That hand in the curtain thing is freaky. Thanks to Mr Google and this site, I learned more about the church than my 20 years as a member. The Jewish wedding is very pretty and looks fun. I'd like to dance the Hora and get to go the chair dance
We got married at the Fantasy Inn, in Reno. our room was labeled shipwreck beach, we had to cross a mote to get to our bed, going on sixteen years, second marriage for both after I left Mormonism.
Gay marriage didn't seem like it would come along in my lifetime when I was young. I'm 52 now, and the idea of getting myself up in lace and white satin and all the related folderol has lost all appeal. In the unlikely event, I would just go with a Justice of the Peace of our choosing in the front parlor with a simple wedding breakfast afterwards. Kim Davis has kind of left a bad taste in my mouth for a courthouse wedding.
Forty-seven years ago we were married in the Relief Society Room in our ward. My wife was baptized 3 days earlier. Parents, Siblings were there, dinner at nice restaurant after which we paid for - about $50. Went to the temple 18 months later. Then kids, dogs, etc. I offered my daughter a wedding or a car. She took the wedding. (Not temple) The marriage didn't last as long as the car.
I got married in an actual, bonafide castle that is next door to my childhood home with my former sifu (Wushu/Kung fu instructor) presiding over the ceremony. We had a bagpiper to play me down the aisle (his heritage) and a jumping over the broom (my then religious leanings) and had canapes and champagne in the grand hall of the castle. I was disappointed the wedding cake didn't start floating in the solarium, as that's rumoured to be haunted by a nun that hanged herself in the doorway. There were all kinds of people, including Mormons at both the wedding and reception, my bridesmaids all had very short, cropped (think Mia Farrow) hair, one with teal hair to match her dress and the groomsman in kilts. Even my ex's son was in a cute little kilt.
The best gift was a six pack of Guinness from one of our punk friends. Then we went to a local bar where I drank waaay too much (my subconscious was screaming at me about the huge mistake I just made), needed my teal haired bridesmaid to help me get my corset undone so I could pee, and barfed about 6 times on the way to the hotel and woke up with one of the worst hangovers of my life.. See, you don't have to have an either/or kind of wedding you can tailor to your fancy. Just make sure you actually eat something before the wedding and during the reception, and don't drink a gallon of shots with your hard-living, weird, counter-culture friends at the celebration. ;)