There is another topic like this BUT I wanted to comment. I think people need to know.

So, I lived in a very old ward - everyone was about 40+ in years and I was the only 18o-ish to attend RS and combined mutual with all the elderly folks (mom wanted me to join her in RS and I went to the combined mutual without her).

Well, we just so HAPPENED we were on the topic of pro-creation, a fun one right? I raised my hand and asked, "So, what if a woman doesn't have a strong libido (like me, but I didn't say that part) and actually identifies as a gay asexual? I proceeded to tell them what it means to be asexual in the gender-identifying term.

The dude looked at me with his eyes buldging and replied, "You WILL eventually marry a man in the temple and have sex to create babies (not baby, but BABIES). It is what God intended!"

I was so shocked as the members either stared at me with blank expressions or started nodding their heads in agreement. I stomped out of the room and then cried in the bathroom.

I should have known this was from old-timers, but I had to ask. I had a feeling he was just vommitting up whatever the church told him to. So, at around 18 I decided to learn and dig deeper into the church. Once I was OUT of my mom's house, I would leave - and I HAVE!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2017 03:34PM by lazylizard.

Wonder if there will ever be a '' Rude or Snarky things Ex-Mormons have said to you '' because it's one of the main reasons I rarely post on here anymore.

I'm all for using a forum as a safe place to vent but there are times when this forum is just down hating against one particular group and its unhealthy.

I was born Mormon, and finding out the religion is wrong has made me speak out against it. This is what happened; and to be honest I am not trusting when it comes to older people in the church.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2017 10:31PM by lazylizard.

Sometimes the 1 group seems to be human beings. Sometimes I am relieved to see other opinions because it's good to know not everyone hates like this board does.

Yes exmos can say snarky rude things too. Like a "very old" ward is people over 40. And ALL THE OLD TIMERS must think alike.

I don't know about anyone else, but I only had a problem with the ageism in your post. Can be expressed more diplomatically if true.

Gentle Gentile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't know about anyone else, but I only had a
> problem with the ageism in your post. Can be
> expressed more diplomatically if true.

Said post is true, and to be honest I do not hate on people who are more progressed in years but I do not trust them either. If you have a problem with the ageisim I appologize because it wasn't my angle. I'm not the best at wording things.

What he said was incredibly rude and he could have spoken to me by pulling me aside.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2017 10:32PM by lazylizard.

I understand what you are talking about. Going to the temple in my 20s and having all the old ladies bitching at me about my sash not being in a perfect bow. There was not one time I went to the temple that some old bitch didn't say something. Baptisms for the dead in my teens was much worse. I'm an old bitch and I don't treat those who are younger than me like that. Respect is EARNED, not demanded.

I had posted something on the other thread, but I thought of something else. I had been a single mother in the ward for a while, been inactive. On my birthday, late in the afternoon (summer), this stupid lady who thought she was special came by to tell me that she had planned on taking me to lunch for my birthday, but she had something else to do. If she had asked me to go, I would have said NO. I told her, "No problem, my ex took the kids and I to Maddox for lunch (a very nice restaurant in Brigham City where I grew up)."

I think I caught her off guard.

I'd never done ANYTHING with her before, so wtf?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2017 01:51PM by cl2.

I wasn't offended at all, and last I checked, we ALL age.

I'm inclined to agree with Hmmm and Gentle Gentile. You were provocative, LadyLizard, and threw him a curve ball. How did you expect him to swing at it? Maybe he might have smarter to let that low-and-inside pitch pass by for a "Ball 1!" and wait for something in the strike zone.

caffiend Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm inclined to agree with Hmmm and Gentle
> Gentile. You were provocative, LadyLizard, and
> threw him a curve ball. How did you expect him to
> swing at it? Maybe he might have smarter to let
> that low-and-inside pitch pass by for a "Ball 1!"
> and wait for something in the strike zone.

Not sure if joking or what, but I will reply anyway.

I wasn't being provocitive to my Sunday teacher in any way. I was simply asking him a question during a meeting because I was curious. He could have said "I am not sure" and leave it at that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2017 10:54PM by lazylizard.

Rudest thing I was ever told: To repent for letting myself get raped. Said the bishop.

And that's why I left the church.

dogzilla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Rudest thing I was ever told: To repent for
> letting myself get raped. Said the bishop.
>
> And that's why I left the church.


Omg, how HORRIBLE. I would fall apart if that had hapepend to me. My heart breaks for all of the rape survivors, since I know soemone who had a terrible expiernce.

Jesus f#cking christ

"You are a selfish controlling mother."

Why? Because I was upset about being excluded from my convert DD's temple wedding.

There have been more than one, but I will choose one.

So, I posted on a family site, which was set up to keep people in a good-sized mostly Mormon family informed and in-touch. I shared that my journey concerning religion had taken me to a questioning place. I then went on to explain that to me, based on my quest, Mormonism resulted from a long line of myths that shared their beliefs with one another in order to make sense of a world that science had yet to explain.

A brother-in-law let me know that a family member said to him that I sure had an uppity opinion of myself and what I thought was right.

Why didn't this person dare say this snarky thing to me?

This person, like so many other Mormon members, had been taught well by MormonismCultCo. how to attack the person rather than allow the person to question Mormonism.

I wasn't expecting to generate a discussion from lots of people, but I did think there might be at least one. Nope.

Perhaps someone was stirred into thinking? Probably not.

I just posted on this thread about passive-agresstion that Mormons use. That is what your brother-in-law was doing. It is what my mother uses on me STILL at age 24.

I myself am passive-agressive and I hate it. I am trying to get out of it though by straight-out telling someone I don't like that (which doesn't happen often since I am generally a nice woman). Some people prefer PA, but I feel it's like someone is stabbing you in the back while also hugging and giving you a kiss.

I had been a member for just under 6 months and had to speak for F/T because I was the newest member. Went to Adult class and teacher glanced at me and then looked back towards room and said " If you don't say all 3 I believe the church is true, Joe was a profit, and Jesus is the son of god, I don't have to listen to you!"

I was then flooded with mishes after class that told me what he did was Wrong!!! Which was nice, in a half-assed way. I don't care what you do 2 seconds after the fact, its what you do in that moment!

Fast forward I was the newest mother of church but someone was on my heels or I would of had to speak again if she hadn't given birth or was in hospital... needless to say I was so happy when I didn't have to speak again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2017 10:43PM by seamaiden.

Mormon men always come to visit in two's. One was my son's best friend's father, and another was the teacher of the "Gospel Essentials" class, I think. Anyway, it was the class for investigators, who didn't know anything about Mormonism.

The teacher of the class said to me, "I would like to officially invite you to my class. You need to know more about the BOM." I had read the BOM 7 times, had graduated from Institute, and also from BYU, which had all those required religion classes. I had also taught the high school kids in SS, for years.

The teacher said, "There is a new member of the ward, and I think you two would have a lot in common. You really need to meet her. She's back living with her mother, in our ward. She had abandoned her children, and divorced her husband, and was on drugs for many years, and lived on the streets. She went to prison for selling drugs and prostitution, and now she is turning her life around. She actually met with her kids, last week."

My son stood up from the couch, and said, "You just compared my mother to a drug-dealing street whore. Mom never would have abandoned us--she is the best person I know. This conversation is over!"

I stood up, too, and I was shaking for the slanderous insult, in my own home, in front of my son. My son and I walked to the door, and I opened it. The two men stood up, and left, with the usual, "Well, if we can do anything for you, let us know...." My son and I didn't say one word, or made any eye contact, and shut the door.

This is only one incident. There were other encounters, in which the priesthood leaders threatened me, that I would get sicker if I didn't attend meetings, that I would fail financially if I didn't pay tithing, that my children would fail in life, if they didn't obey 100%. We had already been told we would never be a "forever family" and would walk past each other as strangers, alone, for eternity. These last threats are standard fear tactics that the Mormon cult uses on everyone--not just us.

And then there was the physical abuse of my children. One incident happened right in front of me, in our own house, and the Mormon thug would not put my son down, until I threatened to call the police.

I think that if I hadn't been a single mother, and had a man to stand up for me, these bullies might have been more careful. The harassment continued, until we all officially resigned together. I highly recommend resigning, for that reason.

I just call it adult class...

Good for your son, that is exactly how anyone with a spine should have behaved in that situation!

I grew up with parents who absolutely hated each other and never wanted to get married, I agree that if you had been married you would have been treated with more respect. I knew marriage would not work for me, and I still feel that way. I like having my freedom. I also don't feel that is where my worth should be found.
Miss/Mrs ranking system were for men its Mr married or not

Hag, spinster, old maid there is only one word for an unmarried man and its a compliment "bachelor".

don't you know? Yes, the men tend to look down on the pathetic single women. I got a lot of that, too. It is still my fault my ex is gay. He left over 20 years ago and it is still my fault. It gets SO OLD.

There seems to be a lot of whining and sniveling in this Post. You got yours feelings hurt - OMG.

Dude, you're a newbie here. CL2 has shared her story numerous times, and she's not "sniveling and whining." It's much, much more than just getting feelings hurt.

You really need to learn the stories and background before you attack. Otherwise, you wind up making a sorry-ass fool of yourself, just like now.

It bugs when someone says, "get over it" about a battle they've never known.

I back up cl2 completely.

Breeze,I was so shocked and angry to read what that moronic imbecile said to you! So glad your son told him off! That man is no teacher; he's a poster child for the word A$$hat. Sounds like he has problems in his own life, like trying to speak with a whole shoe store in his mouth.

I am not a member of the site, nor am I am Mormon. I have always had very good experiences with Mormons in my life, with the exception of associating them with communism. I can explain that later should I decide to post further on this site. That being said, I live for the past five years in southern Utah, in a predominately Mormon city. I've never had an issue. But something was said to me once that raise the hair on the back of my neck. In the years that I have worked here, at the same job, I have developed friendships and associations with some very devout Mormon's. One in particular never put anyone down, he never tried to preach, he never implied that any of us were less than he. Sometimes with carpool, and he would tell me Bible stories, always from the Bible, never from the book of Mormon, and always relating to the topic at hand that we were discussing. I really respected this person, and I really appreciated the talk that we had. One day, I can't even remember what we were discussing, something about going through the temple in and being worthy or something. And I posed the question "what about me and single mothers like me?" And his reply was "well I'm just not going to get into that". I knew at that moment, that this man that I highly respected, and admired, and even thought as a friend, thought less of me for being a single mother. That I had made choices that were not OK in "his" God's eyes. I think I knew right then that the Mormon religion was not OK. Many things led me to this board, including several things that maybe I thought I should look into the religion, but now I know, he really did think less of me. That's bullshit. I have a childhood friend that I've known for 30 years. And now I question if she thinks the same about me. It breaks my heart to think she might. Also, because of how disappears on my phone, I can't see what I'm typing, and I can't hit the return key for some reason. So pardon the lack of formatting and/or spelling or grammatical errors in my post

Welcome, InfinitelyMe. I'm a fellow nevermo. Mormonism is among the more conservative and controlling of the Christian denominations. Single moms can have a rough go of it in that faith. For many years, there was strong pressure on single moms to give up their babies for adoption, even if the moms were fully capable of supporting their children. That pressure might still be felt in certain quarters, although some Mormon women now defy the church's wishes. Yes, there are Mormons who will judge you, either openly or in a more hidden way as this man has.

My own mother asked me, "do you think you're better than the general authorities?"

"I don't think I'm better than anyone," I said. "You taught me to hate myself."

donbagley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My own mother asked me, "do you think you're
> better than the general authorities?"
>
> "I don't think I'm better than anyone," I said.
> "You taught me to hate myself."


Wow, don. That's profound, my brother. Just try to imagine the sum total of damage that has been inflicted over the years by perhaps well-meaning but utterly clueless MORmONS. Whatever happened to "Love one another, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it"? I love you, donbagley, and you have infinite worth as a person.
Your buddy, edzachery

"You're an Atheist ? Someday you'll pay for it !"

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "You're an Atheist ? Someday you'll pay for it !"

Send me your atheist membership dues, Dave.
You're late, and if you don't pay up, you're not going to get your atheist membership card -- which, as you know, is good for so many things, like...um...well, nothing. :)

Really? Mine came with a toaster.

I'm an atheist too, but I never see Dave at the meetings.

Earlier this year the mishies called in to see me an I tol them I wasn't interested. Despite this they still wanted to come in an I gave them a verbal tongue lashing to which they promptly left with the parting words Merry Christmas, to which I replied its the end of January Christmas is over -----.

They had no idea what to say bqck to you so Merry Christmas was a cop out.

I endured numerous judgmental comments over 36 years. Being attacked by two black women in the presence of my mother was the final straw to leave after 36 yrs. LDS promotes a culture of emotional and verbal abuse.

I grew up in a dysfunctional non LDS home, so the emotional and verbal abuse at the cult felt familiar. It's also the garbage said behind my back that was wicked. Biggest complaint from men and women was that I was single. Hate speech was often given in my home. I even went to a lawyer after being attacked (above). I resigned and no one from the cult ever came near me again. If they do, the police will be called.

The cult is a man made and controlled social club. What ever happened to the Holy Spirit? He never seemed to be present when the vile, false words were spoken. His absence was another proof the cult is all a hoax.

The list is long, long, long.

I was mormon for over 50 years. That gives them a ton of time to dish out tons of shit.

I've been judged and criticized all my life by mormons. Most them were related to me.Maybe one day i'll make a list. Right now that seems like way too much to type, even though I can do 105 words a minute.

That is pretty much what the church teaches. Your entire purpose in life is to create physical bodies for spirits to be born and then raise them to be good LDS adults.

If this is the truth, then why did God even bother giving women inteligence?

It makes me sick to hear this sort of thing.

When I was a young career woman, early thirties, was a runner, fittest I'd ever been, spent more money than I should have on clothes, dated a lot...(you get the picture)...

I was at a Relief Society dinner and one of the RS presidency came up to me and said, "I want you to meet Sister ______," and pointed to a woman across the room. This woman was, to put it mildly, rough. I couldn't really tell how old she was, I'm guessing fifties. Her skin was leathered and greenish. She didn't have many of her teeth. Her hair was like cotton candy. She looked like a methamphetamine addict.

The RS leader continued, "You two have a lot in common. She's single too." That's an exact quote. I just thought to myself, "What the h@ll do I have in common with her?!"

Wow. Just wow. It's funny and sad at the same time. That's the mormon mindset.

What was shocking about what he said? Were you expecting something else?

Dumb, I really can't tell who you are addressing, but I'll give you my response. I was expecting an answer to my question: "What about me, and other single mothers like me?"

To be honest, I was expecting something that would explain how women like me, single mothers, who don't rely on others to provide for their children ( and so what if they do ) who support their families 100%, and raise dang good kids, are still worthy in the eyes of "God".

... crickets ...

So, we're not then..

It simply shattered a 5 year long facade I had enjoyed.

and NOBODY ever said anything snarky to me about having to work to support myself and my son. (I did get some hints about finding a worthy priesthood holder to marry, which I eventually did, but I was about 20 years into a 30-year-long career, and wasn't about to give up that pension. Good thing, too - we NEEDED both salaries.)

I think the nastiest thing anybody ever said to me was the RS Pres, after I gave a lesson that deviated a little too much from the perfectly dreadful lesson in the manual. I broke the class up into little groups to discuss and present sub-topics in the lesson. I got them asking questions and discussing things. Instead of just sitting there, like passive lumps, I had people talking, carefully wandering into unexplored territory. And they LIKED it! Several of the ladies thanked me for such a creative lesson!

The RS pres ripped me a new one. When I pointed out how my lesson had gotten people INVOLVED, discussing, thinking. . . She gave me a steely-cold glare and said (and this is verbatim; I don't think I will ever forget how shocked I felt) "They aren't here to discuss. They aren't here to question. THEY ARE HERE TO LEARN CORRECT DOCTRINE."

I told the bishop a day or two after that, that I would not be back. He would need to find another RS teacher. I think I may have gone to church a few more times after that, but it was like the blinders had been ripped off. When I taught the lesson, I was still a sincere TBM. I was just trying to rev the material up a little.

And thanks to that RS pres, I find myself here, happily at home with the rest of you sinners. . .let's see, for about 12 years now.

The missionaries said "you only left so you could sin."
I replied " Yes I did! Plus I didn't want to spend eternity with my LDS husband who couldn't F worth a damn."

Perfect! LOL

Oh my God, yes!

Ouch.

I turned about and quietly walked away from everyone who spoke
inappropriately to me. This would include misguided advice and
outright abusive or harassing words.

Yes, ex-bishop, you.
Yes, ex-relief society president, you.

To name just two. It occurred decades ago and they are both
deceased. In the Charles Dickens sense.

That I walked away doesn't mean I ignored it but moved on. I
hope others can do the same but remind everyone to be aware and
call out misconduct whenever possible. It's especially
difficult for teenagers to do this. Most often they have to
internalize and wait for emancipation.

BcE

A few years after DH and I left tscc we had our 4th baby. The first thing that every Mormon we spoke to said, "Is he healthy?" Not a single Mormon said Congrats or he's so cute; none of the typical things normal people say. They just expected something would be wrong with our baby as a punishment from God for not being Mormon anymore. By the way he was born healthy with no complications.

That was rude and offensive. They were saying something is wrong with your baby because something is wrong with you and your spouse for leaving the church. Like that has anything to do with delivering a healthy baby.

When my husband told his abusive TBM ex wife that he was planning to propose to me, she asked if I was a member of the church. He said I wasn't and had no plans to convert. Her response was a snarky, "You must really love her a lot."

She was implying that he was willing to give up the CK for the likes of me. I could probably sit here and list a whole bunch of other ways she used religion to be rude and shitty to other people. In fairness to Mormons, though, she is a rude and shitty person regardless and would have been snarky even if she'd never even heard of Mormonism. She apparently thinks she's superior to everyone else, after all.

god can fix anything that's broke.

In my last meeting with the bishop He called softie, coward and satan follower (not in the same phrase), for not wanting to go to a mission.
And that was my last day in the church.

They definitely made me feel like a satan worshiper for not going or even satan himself.

Pretty much everything. But they called me the bionical man because i was getting a lot of surgeries and that really pissed me off.