I Recieved an expected email the other day from my ex-wife's bishop informing me that the First Presidency is requesting a statement from me regarding my feelings and whether or not my ex is current in financial obligations.

My first inclination was to ignore it. I don't believe it matters in the long run,but if it will be used as a way to humiliate or shame me then I am not interested in responding.

Does anybody know if these are actually reviewed by the First Presidency or some low level church employee?

By responding, what can I expect to happen. I have not had my name removed but have had no contact with the church in years.

What can I expect? What are your experiences?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2017 07:44PM by Whiskeytango.

Well, my experience is kind of distant (and some 40-50 yrs or so ago). It was a BIG deal for my friend to get her temple marriage canceled (and her husband was a real jerk).

One had to wait for the appeal sent in to have it read, considered --and judged--by the first presidency of the church themselves. (Can you believe it?--But the church was MUCH smaller then, let alone if only counting the "actives" in those days.)

It finally came, but they certainly had to wait and wait for the decision. (Even then, the 12-15 had a lot of other things to do besides having to be the final word on the whole membership of the churchs' membership marriage problems.)

Gosh, even remembering such long-ago things sure empathizes my age now-a-days. (The rest of you are just kids.)

If you don't respond, they assume you don't care, and proceed with cancelation/new sealing.

If you say you're fine with it, they proceed.

If you say your ex owes you court ordered money, they are supposed to deny permission for new sealing until ex's financial obligations are sorted out.

One of their more sensible policies, IMHO.

Will they deny the cancellation of the sealing if the petitioner owes the respondent court ordered obligations?

I recently (2years ago)received such letter from ex. I considered ignoring it completely but our grown sons persuaded me to write the letter so their dad could get married (again! 4th ! LOL)in the temple. It was about 8 words in total! The instructions were to fill in the bishop about the relationship- I said nothing about that - just that he did not ' legally ' owe me anything. Which is all the church cared about.
He was sealed a short time later.
I now regret even writing the short letter- I should of ignored this request completely. Just my experience

Shows how much they 'care' about $$$, instead of Honesty, Kindness, etc.

If Anyone reading this doesn't understand how far LDS, Inc, is off the rails, Please contact me.

Divorced twists & breaks people in DIRECT contradiction to what the scriptures teach, leaves hearts permanently damaged... Does LDS care? NO.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2017 02:31AM by GNPE.

My ex wanted to be sealed to her Mormon husband and I wrote a nice letter to the prophet about why we divorced mentioned her affair with the Missionary. The Prophet turned her down.

Then I received a letter from the Catholics when she wanted to marry her Catholic husband in a Catholic Church. I wrote them a nice letter and mentioned her multiple marriages (which she forgot to include) and how the Mormons had turned her down. The Catholics also turned her down.

Sometimes revenge is sweet.

WhiskyTango, you didn't say if you are a man or a woman.

There are three different sets of rules:

One for Mormon men

One for Mormon women

One for Mormons with connections.


1) My temple ex-husband who beat me, was able to get married in the temple the day after our divorce was final. And then again, after he beat his second wife, too.

2) I'm a woman, and I was never granted a "cancellation of sealing", after trying for 20 YEARS, with various bishops and stake presidents. I finally quit the cult, and in my letter of resignation, I declared the temple marriage null and void. That is the SURE way of getting a temple divorce!

3) My hairdresser (a woman) was able to get a "cancellation of sealing", because she "fell out of love" with her husband. Her cancellation process took 3 months. Her father was a Regional Representative, and close friend of GBH.

It is all hooey. Don't respond. The cult does what it wants to do.

I would highly recommend that you officially resign. It will relieve you of Mormon stalking and harassment. When you resign, quote the Mormon church's own "Handbook of Instructions". You can find the exact words online. It says something like, "All your temple ordinances and blessings will be revoked," and this includes your temple marriage.

Thank you, I am male, for what that is worth. My whole concern was if by responding it could in any way harm me. I like what you said about resigning and not responding. Thanks.

I believe it involves an unbinding spell. A little hocus-pocus.

But ... but ... but ... you were NEVER sealed. It was a joke anyway.

It's like being sealed for time and eternity to your fake eyelashes!

It ain't real.

Undo something that ain't real ?????

It's all BS. My ex received the same letter when her husband before me was remarrying (his 4th wife) but first one in the temple besides my wife. Anyway, It asked the same questions. She wrote back with the truth that he never paid his child support or alimony like he should have and still owed years of back pay. The kids were grown by this time. But he was still ( and still is) a slack-ass dad. End result of her letter, is it did not matter. He still got married in the temple.

It's like as Breeze said.

When I got my letter from my ex's Bishop, I responded by saying that when I divorced her I did so without any strings attached. I did question the Bishop on how my ex was able to obtain a temple recommend. I pointed out several questions from the temple recommend interview process that if answered truthfully, would not qualify her for a temple recommend. I was very detailed in my answers to him (One example - She had emptied the savings accounts of our kids (around $3500) and stolen the money for herself). I even closed my letter with an offer to discuss these things with him (and with her present) if he needed further clarification. I told him that I felt AT THE LEAST she should be made to repay the money into their accounts before being granted temple access. I never heard back from him. My ex was married in the temple within a month's time. No money was ever repaid to my kids.

There is a silver lining to the story though. My daughter who was a young teenager at the time was aware of the money her mother had stolen from her and I had made her aware of what I said in my letter to try to get her money back to her. During an interview with this Bishop she asked him how, after receiving my letter with my concerns, was her mother allowed to go through the temple? His response was, "Since your father is no longer an active member, what he said in his letter carried little credibility." I will NEVER be able to thank this Bishop (now a Stake Prez) enough!! He was able to accomplish in a few minutes what I had tried for years - - to turn my daughter off to the church. She left his office questioning EVERYTHING about the church. Today, although she is still a member on paper, she rarely attends. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Bishop!!

In the end it doesn't really matter what you have to say - - the church is going to do whatever it wants. And if your ex is marrying in the temple to a FULL TITHE PAYING priesthood holder, your words will mean even less. It is all about the $$$$.

That is precisely why they stipulate that it must be a court-ordered financial obligation. They have no interest in getting into a he said-she said argument. If you can't convince a judge that your ex owes you recompense, LDS Inc is not going to go to bat for you.

If you can convince a judge to rule in your favor, LDS Inc is willing to use your ex's sealing/cancellation request as leverage to get him/her to settle up with you. They are under no legal obligation to do even that, so it is one of the few instances when they at least attempt to see that the other spouse is being treated fairly according to the divorce decree.

Being the cynic I am, I suspect this has something to do with kicking the responder spouse off church welfare, in that they will now know whether the spouse requesting the new sealing is current on his obligations. If he/she is, bishops says hey, the court saw to it that you were properly taken care of financially, and your ex is current on his/her obligations, so stop pestering us for money.

Like I said, I'm a cynic.

Still, even if it may be self-serving for them, it could help you, even if you are an exMo. That is a better deal than you usually get from LDS Inc.

And to those who seem to think that not responding to their letter somehow puts them in their place - they are perfectly happy if you don't respond. They felt for whatever reason they had an obligation to seek your input. If you provide no input, they consider that their self-imposed obligation has been met, and they are good to go with whatever decision they make.

If you don't care, don't respond. They will interpret that to mean you don't care. They will not interpret it as you giving them the finger. If giving them the finger is the message you want to send, then put that in a letter to them. And I'm sure exactly that has been done any number of times. :)

After all, Elohim decides who to breed as god/goddess/goddess/goddess.../goddess pairs --



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2017 11:20PM by anybody.