"The group members had gone too far, given up too much for their beliefs to see them destroyed; the shame, the economic cost, the mockery would be too great to bear.  The overarching need of the cultists to cling to those beliefs seeps poignantly from their own world: From a young woman with a three-year-old child: 'I have to believe the flood is coming on the twenty-first because I've spent all my money. I quit my job, I quit computer school.... I have to believe.'" in Influence, the Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert Cialdini

For members to accept that the church is false they have to accept that they have wasted their time talents and resources on a fraud.

in a way, I'm really heartbroken for him because he's gambled everything on the church. He can't lose. If it didn't give out too much real life info, I could list about 10 major "investments" of time, talent and loyalty he's made in his life for the church at his own expense. If he admits he's wrong about the church, then it would be like admitting everything he has become is wrong. He's literally trapped inside his own head, becoming a more and more wretched person with each passing day because of it. Because he's sure that if everyone would just do every bit of Mormonism perfectly, then he would get the things Mormonism promised him. Things he desperately needs and he has gambled everything on the idea that Mormonism can provide them. But they can't provide those things - only a gruesome, false-happy version of them. So I watch him get more angry, frustrated and bitter (well, I watch from a distance) and I know the solution to his problems but the shame, the mockery would be too great for him to bear and he's invested too much so he'd never take my advice or find the one thing that would make him happy.

I can't stand Bishop Jackwagon but he's real life proof that there are some things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. And I wouldn't wish being trapped in your own crazy on my worst enemy.

So true CAgirl. It reminds me of the old ladies you see at the slot machines. They're haggard and unsmiling, hunched and pumping quarters into those machines fast and furious, faster and faster because they've GOT to justify the huge amount of money they've already spent.

Mormonism is gambling. You are paying insurance that will pay off in the next life. But what if it's a fraud? Then what does that make you?

A sucker instead of a god in embryo. That's why people keep "believing" even when they know it's false.

Anagrammy

For me it was hard because I had been so ingrained that this was the only way. I felt set up to fail. When I left the first time I was hit in the face with the "real world" crushed and faced with everything I crawled back to the church believing that they had been right and that life was better with the church. It wasn't until a few months ago I finally realized its not the church that makes life good. When I left this time I was ready for my family to not talk to me again and to be cut off. I was ready to lose many friends and I was ready for the stigma that came from everyone that I must live a lifestyle that makes me 'not worthy'. (Which I don't, Nothing has changed lifestyle wise from being a member to not). The hardest part though is that taught principle that once you deny what you've been taught your doomed. It is also really hard that my family will have nothing to do with me. It just reaffirms the fact though that this can't be a true religion, what religion would condone that behavior?


Also the excuses bothers me "just pray" or "it will be given to you in time". Whenever you ask a question it's either you haven't tried enough, or your just not paying attention to the answer. I'm glad I left but the future is scary to me. It makes me worried I will go back just because it's safe. :o