Posted by:
Paintingnotloggedin
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Date: June 27, 2017 05:32AM
So many variables, which spouse did house hold work interChangeably based on who had which Work schedules , lay offs , shift changes , travel time to work, length of commute, strength vs illness , recovery , coaching sports , or coaching academic teams, chauffeured drs apts biopsies , taught night school, had second job ,
Caring for home and kids between surgeries and health scares raising our family became frenzied keeping insurance and work contracts. Ultimately husbands engineered logical spatial awareness and routine utilization of power tools created flow ... flow along routine routes whether it was clothes placement, or special study station pre ,a,p testing. He always built a path or a pantry, or a closet dedicated to something somebody needed. So he applied his skills to me and our family. It was obvious obviously. even when he may not have expressed hysterical empathy say between wrestling coaching sessions, he demonstrated that he was "in" caring not apathy despite service in the community. For instance he might nap passed out flat on his back on the beige living room carpet when we had children doing homework. If they had a question he would wake up politely. If he falls asleep after work he's always slumped back legs akimbo with his face pointed across the room so he can ,"hear" speech read . Now that's comforting and motivating I think it showed our children how deeply their father cared about them and to never ever give up. Why I recall the entire family searched for his hearing aide when it turns out a mouse had carried it away. (It was after the young merit scholar was secretly rescuing mice off her dads carefully set sticky traps and releasing them underneath the living room piano)
Some outdoors chores have always been beyond me, for instance the time the ground squirrels dug holes and lived under our driveway and garage then at the edge of a field...
Except we needed to learn places for everything, especially when interchanging roles or chores with flowing roles, for instance to be agreed on where kitchenware is...
Except always deferring respectfully to team ----- individual members agreed upon great strengths, no competition. Hes great using his breadnan bread machine but won't make cinnamon rolls unless I set the parts up. He's pretty awful on the sewing machine but mend he will. He repairs rebuilds sewing machines for me basically but suffered recently sewing on our ancient light industrial 2300 stitch a minute steering unsteadily on a rolled hem unpinned straight seam on a checker jacquard table cloth. ;) suddenly he had a new respect. Sharing chores jobs roles meant wondering and wandering between comprehending the others skills. I prefer bulk buying identical pattern style size socks to avoid sorting while he has attention to detail and persistence for instance, He darns socks with a needle and thread. However he won't crochet or knit with me. He will try to participate in any leather project I start he's great at riviting hardware on bags... hes vacuumed but never swept, done laundry but rarely sorted loads, he's ironed everyone's clothes. He puts clothes on hangers whenever he meets a stack of giean clothes but rarely puts them into closets. ..he hangs clothes on hangers on doors near rooms closets they belong in. It somehow on the route. He grills the best steaks I always hand him the red meat or better yet request he select it himself as I'm driving home Friday's and give him my estimated arrival time. He grates great cheese instantly magic chef hands strength no matter what. He always makes one great weekend breakfast he's a tremendous weekend morning short order chef visiting grand kids or at home. He's never opened a can of chili, soup, peppers or cooked anything out of a can... he's more of a salad bag from the market meat fried eggs bacon and pancake kinda cook. Coffee he grinds great coffee.
He has never ever stewed stew made any flavor of home made soup made a pie from scratch made frosting ... he buys French bread he never bakes french bread he bakes breadnan machine white bread instead. He rarely makes his favorite food which is rice. He likes my rice.
I hesitate to state or imagine any part of house care my husband hadn't taken on routinely somehow along since 198- I hesitate to imagine ah there's one part of household care he's never ever given up regardless of when I had fewer work hours ...changing the ceiling air filter with the metal hinged grate that swings down and is like to hit you in the face. I clean the kitchen , floors, rest rooms and do laundry now I am home full time but he changes the air filter... rivets leather, rebuilds sewing machines, makes a great weekend breakfast, grills great steak...
Sadly for me if a virtuous wife or one deserving of appreciation must do all of the household chores throughout a marriage simultaneously with contracted salaried full time work outside that home then I have been a wretchedly unvirtuous wife, find it amazing how being a valued member of a team feels and how sharing everything neither limited me nor made me , less valued.
I enjoy serving my spouse coffee. My husband enjoys grinding coffee and serving me coffee in bed. Years ago I enjoyed serving my husband steak dinner and soda while he was bathing ,( you know some people read in a long leisurely bath wasn't there a movie with food served at toman baths or something,?)
I still like sewing duvets and blankets more than folding them. He still likes draping blankets. And folding a blanket across an Otto an or end of the couch. But it's both about the blankets who really cares who sews who drapes or folds Blankets... he's always trying to tuck a blanket around my back near some scar like he got when a tree caught his grapple cat . And I'm always pulling a blanket back across his scarred back with room for his feet to move uncovered.