Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: July 10, 2017 07:11PM
I have always been honest with my children, and I agree with CateS, that this is a general rule for living. When I was in the process of leaving the cult, there were times when it seemed everyone (meaning all the Mormons in our family, and in our neighborhood ward) was forming a united front against me. At those times, I would follow my heart, and follow my general rules for right and wrong. Very often, the cult and its members would try to lead me into decisions and behaviors that I felt were wrong. I never wavered from being true to myself and true to my children. Though it seemed I was feeling around in the dark, my children and I came through to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't begin to describe to you how great my children are, and how wonderful our life is, now that we are all out of the Mormon church! Because I was honest, our little family is strong, loving, and loyal. My children are successful in their careers, because they are trustworthy, hard-working, and have sincere motives. They are leaders, because they learned to think for themselves. They are independent, creative, funny, physically fit, and street-smart, which are qualities that the Mormons try to suppress.
You are feeling very uneasy with yourself. Many of us faced the same dilemma that you are facing: The choice between the Mormon church or your family. The good news is that this is a myth--another Mormon lie! This is the church's spin on things. Reality dictates that there are hundreds and hundreds of wise choices you can make! I made the choices I felt were best for me and my children, and our life is better than we ever could have imagined!
You be honest with your children. You make that choice, and act upon it. You want a good relationship with your children. (Your children will not find honesty among the Mormons.)
You give your children unconditional love. Contrary to what Mormons believe, there is such a thing as unconditional love, and that is the love a mother has for each of her children. (Your children will not find unconditional love in the Mormon church.)
What I really want to say to you, is that you are still in the clutches of the Mormon cult. Go back and read what you wrote. You seem to have the future all predicted for you! Your son returning from his mission, his quickly getting married in the temple before your temple recommend runs out, your next son leaving for his mission. As an outsider, formerly a BIC from a prominent GA family, this seems crazy. No one can predict the future! If your husband or any other Mormon priesthood holder says he can predict the future, that is a lie. Mormons can only attempt to manipulate the future.
Your son might fall in love with and marry a non-Mormon. He might agree with what you tell him, and say, "Mom, I don't believe in Mormonism, either."
Your son might get angry and not want you at his wedding at all, because you are living a lie.
Your son might want to go to school, or do something else with his life, first, and then get married after your recommend expires.
Your husband and the stake president might revoke your recommend, or have you excommunicated, so you wouldn't be able to go to any temple wedding.
You can't possibly foresee exactly how your son is going to react, or what is going to happen.
You have more power than your TBM husband and the others give you credit for having! You can make a difference in your children's lives! I took my children out of that cult, the instant I found out how bad it was. I could never have imagined throwing my kids under the bus, leaving them in there alone to deal with what I myself could not deal with--as a strong, independent adult.
Probably, you still believe that Mormonism "is a good way to raise kids," otherwise, you would try to rescue them.
Stand up for what you believe, and people will respect you for it. My husband left before our children and I did, and I always respected him for it, and after a year, we thanked him for it.
I'm sorry you are forcing you to make unnecessary sacrifices. A "common good" does exist, wherein all of you will be happy, including you, too. You will find it. Keep learning, and searching, and following your heart. (((hugs)))
I would like to add that Christianity does differ greatly from Mormonism, in many ways, but especially in the key fundamental issues of honesty and unconditional love. The Mormon General Authorities often speak out against these two Christ-like qualities. Mormons negate unconditional love, and negate the Atonement of Christ, by writing their own false scriptures that say that only Mormons may be saved, IF THEY EARN their salvation, through obedience to the laws (tithing) and ordinances of the Gospel.
Christians believe that ALL are saved.