Since I left the church over a year ago my wife has doubled down on the church. Participating, holding callings, going to church on time etc. things we never did before. The worst of it all is she expects my kids to be held to her standards and is teaching them this nonsense. Yesterday my kids told me that mom said we can't go swimming in our pool. I said why and they said because it's Sunday. Rather then start a fight I haven't said anything to my wife about it. I'm already walking on egg shells because I stopped wearing garments about a month ago.
Just seems like craziness. She picks and chooses what's ok in her mind and we all have to live by it. For example I'll list the things shes ok with on Sunday. Paint the house, laundry, washes dishes, cooks, watch TV, movies, go to the park, go on walks. But somehow swimming as a family in our own backyard has made it on her naughty list. She even called my mom and told her while she was taking a nap I took the kids swimming in our pool ( I know I'm the devil). She's busy sleeping and I'm playing with my children so I'm the bad one...
Any tips on how to go about this with out making it a big deal?
With the list you made of what is okay on Sunday, I was rather shocked that swimming is on the bad list. BUT then there is the old teaching (I've been out a long time) about satan having control of the water on Sunday. I had a really difficult time getting past that one after leaving the lds church. Has she thrown that one your way.
I'm afraid if you were to point out to her the things that she shouldn't be doing on Sunday, that she will just shorten the approved list and you'll all be sitting around reading scripture on Sunday.
My aunt's house was that way. We'd go stay with her for a week every summer and we sat around in our Sunday clothes with NOTHING TO DO except help with dinner and dishes. We couldn't even listen to music. I can't remember if we could read non-scripture type books or not. I hated going to her house.
She must have done it all right though, most of her kids are very active mormon and as sickeningly mormon as she is. Only one has left the church of 7.
Around my house I let my wife know I'm the designated sabbath breaker. So, if she needs anything from the store, I'll take the sabbath breaking anti-blessings.
Howdy Ben, well my first thought was maybe you could confirm her suspicion about you being the devil by going skinny dipping on Sundays! Okay, okay...I'll be serious.
I wouldn't make a big deal about her forbidding the kids to go swimming with you. By forbidden them, she's basically saying, "I'm a religious fanatic--your Dad is not--and I'm going to show you just how fucked up the church, and its stupid commandments, is!" Eventually, your kids will wear her down about the pool.
My greater concern is the distance that seems to be growing between you and your wife. I'm very sorry about that. Sometimes a marriage relationship is like a taffy pull. I've had lots of downs, but recently, more up in my relationship.
Perhaps, she needs to really know that you love her and that your rejection of the church is not a rejection of her. How do you think she'd react if you started doing some little things like doing the dishes, giving her backrubs, or trips for a massage?
As always, Ben, a big bro hug and a hearty fuck the Morg to you! The Boner.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2017 09:10PM by BYU Boner.
BYU Boner Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Howdy Ben, well my first thought was maybe you > could confirm her suspicion about you being the > devil by going skinny dipping on Sundays! Okay, > okay...I'll be serious. > > I wouldn't make a big deal about her forbidding > the kids to go swimming with you. By forbidden > them, she's basically saying, "I'm a religious > fanatic--your Dad is not--and I'm going to show > you just how fucked up the church, and its stupid > commandments, is!" Eventually, your kids will wear > her down about the pool. > > My greater concern is the distance that seems to > be growing between you and your wife. I'm very > sorry about that. Sometimes a marriage > relationship is like a taffy pull. I've had lots > of downs, but recently, more up in my > relationship. > > Perhaps, she needs to really know that you love > her and that your rejection of the church is not a > rejection of her. How do you think she'd react if > you started doing some little things like doing > the dishes, giving her backrubs, or trips for a > massage? > > As always, Ben, a big bro hug and a hearty fuck > the Morg to you! The Boner. Thanks Boner. I have definitely made it a habit to try harder in showing I haven't changed my feelings for her. Sometimes better than others of course. I always do the dishes at least 4 times a week. Freaken kids and their dishes. Lol. We have a nice week long vacation on an exotic island just me and her coming up so hopefully we can improve on our relationship. Things have actually been good since the last fight. We both messed up and we both appolized. I have not brought up the conversation she had with my mom. Not something I want to spoil a vacation over.
Ben, I'm very glad things have been better. I hope the exotic island brings the two of you much happiness and bonding. And just in case you ever wondered--you ARE fucking wonderful!
Remember Sunday on the island, too. Force her to squeeze her sweaty thighs into some pantie hose, put on a dress and heels, and sit 3 hours in the nearest Mormon church, while you wait on the beach for her. The no swimming on Sunday ought to apply, no matter where in the world Satan may find you. Right?
Insane. My GA relative enforced the no swimming rule at our family summer cabin. We would take a bar of soap with us to the lake, and call it a "bath."
What's that saying, the sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath, or something like that. I can't think of anything more restful, fun and family-building than a nice afternoon in the backyard pool.
I would ask her about her no swimming on Sunday ban, and if she brings up "Satan controls the waters" then tell her that came about because Joseph didn't know how to swim. As long as the family does chores or fun things on Sunday anyway, then swimming shouldn't be off the list.
You have a pool, enjoy it! The kids will only be with you for so long. Some of my happiest childhood memories involved long afternoons at the pool.
I have friends who allow a country walk on Sundays but not a walk to the beach. If they go to the coast the are not allowed to walk on sand. mind this is the same couple who went away for a weekend to celebrate their anniversary, arrived late at destination on Friday night and checked out early on Sunday morning so they could spend 3 hours of their child free weekend in church then they looked at graves because it was a n appropriate sabbath activity. They also ate day old sanddwiches because they avoid shopping on the sabbath.
You should thank her for putting up these “spiritual roadblocks” in front of your kids. I would mention to her that by doing so, by curtailing normal family activities because of something the church has made up, will lead to resentment of the church by your children and ease their transition out as they get older. Thank her profusely for exposing the church’s influence that even your children can see as being ridiculous. Tell her that this will help your kids recognize the even greater absurdities that the church will teach them over the coming years. Let her know that she is making your job easier…then thank her again.
Two of my three kids don't like the church or want anything to do with it. The third, I think, doesn't either but is pretty quiet about his feelings. Mostly because of the wackiness of the church.