So said a police detective where my daughter stayed for several months the first time she disappeared from home unannounced. His daughter is the same age as mine, and they befriended each other.

They worshiped together at the same house of worship, etc.

I'd call periodically to check on her, and this was one thing he assured me, was that she would never be homeless.

Now she's living overseas, and is reportedly telling a former rabbi that she's now homeless & unable to access medical care in a country that provides socialized medicine.

He's trying to get help to her, with my blessing. And so have I been. It is hard because she doesn't maintain ties or communication with anyone in our family. Even the rabbi has a difficult time trying to solicit information on how she's doing.

As worried as I am for her about her situation (what parent would wish that upon their child?) Is when I remembered the police detective's words to me that "Your daughter will never be homeless."

With her BPD, it is possible she's spinning another yarn, and we are falling for it. But like the boy who cried wolf too many times, I don't want to trivialize where she's coming from - because she does need help. As a parent I will continue to do what I can to help her be in a better position to help herself.

It's been heartbreaking nonetheless to have to deal with. What parent would wish BPD, homelessness, a critical illness, etc. upon a child, or themself?

And the Mormon bishop who harbored her for six months in complete secrecy prior to her disappearance overseas can go to hell ! If anyone is evil it is he and his moronic wife.

The rabbi has tried to do everything in his power to be an intermediary for my daughter and me.

The bishop did everything in his power to divide us and sever familial ties between mother and daughter. While their own adult daughter lived with them under their roof at the same time. That's pure evil!

If that isn't a hallmark of a CULT, I don't know what is.

Amyjo, I'm so sorry for all of this pain your going through. I hate the cult/business. That bishop is indeed pure evil. There was a bishop in our ward who did his best to separate a family in the ward because the daughter was "rebellious" and tried running away, and so the bishop blamed the parents! Well, mission accomplished; he succeeded. Sending hope and positive thoughts to you.

Thank you.

It's been a parent's worst nightmare. I have the Mormon cult to thank in part, and my daughter who has some issues she will either deal with or go through life without truly knowing how to love or be loved.

I don't understand why that bishop isn't trying to help your daughter. He practically adopted her, right? I'm sure if you explain the situation to him, he'll chip right in.

About her, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Personally, I think she's using you. Israel with no safety net at all? I'm not buying it.

You've got to be kidding, right?

You have no idea how deceiptful and cunning both that bishop and his wife have been with us. It didn't start when they harbored my daughter, oh no.

He was our last bishop before resigning. His wife was the reason why we resigned when we did twelve years ago. I don't wish to get into those details now, but he refused to help assist be an intermediary, and basically slammed the door shut between my daughter and I. He told me he had no duty to me, so he wasn't going to help.

That's "real brotherly love" NOT. As for the "love of Christ" absolutely NOT.

As for daughter, it's hard to say. If she's really homeless she may not have access to healthcare or social services.

I'm trying to trust the policeman from several years ago when he told me that she would never be homeless. My worry is she could be in a situation where she is being exploited herself, and not the one doing the exploiting - owing to her vulnerability and inability to take care of herself without needing to resort to manipulation tactics.

She isn't using me because she isn't in contact with me. That's how she wants it. I'm hopeful if things were truly bad or dire that she would want my assistance. As things are now trying to find out anything on her condition has been next to impossible.

Of course I'm kidding. I'm sorry about the personal hell brought to you by Mormonism. They do that a lot. Attract the psychopaths and give them free reign.

The bishop and his wife moved away from here to retire to Utah right after my daughter set sail for overseas.

They moved to the same town where Martin McNeil who was a Mormon bishop there, nearly got away with murdering his wife. He was a psychopath extraordinaire. If not for his adult children, law enforcement would've been none the wiser.

How could such an upstanding man be a monster? Yet he was.

This bishop who harbored my daughter had the hots for her while she was still a minor. He used to ogle her at church.

I cringe just thinking about her living under his roof undisclosed to me for six long months with his crazy wife. For them it was payback for my leaving the church years ago, to hide my daughter like that.

Wish I'd known then what I know now, because I'd have never returned to the cult when I did after my parents death - out of nostalgia. Baddest, biggest mistake of my life.

I can't imagine not knowing. My son has some of his own issues and he lives here, age 31, works part-time. My ex gets more irritated about it than I do. My therapist, who has helped me so much in so many ways, told me to use tough love on him. Tough love doesn't work with my son. I WILL NOT ALLOW MY SON TO BE HOMELESS. I won't throw him out like many people have told me I need to do.

My ex and I were just talking about this the other day. My ex agrees, we would be out of our minds if we didn't know where he is or how he is, and if he is homeless.

I can't imagine the hell you have been through and continue to go through. At least my son will come home when he needs us, which he did this time.

I am so sorry, Amyjo. :(

This would be intensely painful and frustrating under any circumstances, but to have her be homeless and without medical care in Israel (which mostly operates as a giant and interconnected family, with medical care for "everyone"), would be excruciating.

If she is homeless, it means she has burned her bridges with everyone she has ever connected to in any way.

If she is truly without medical care, it means she is too messed-up to use the system, or to accept the help of people who know how to access the system most effectively.

It means, I think, that she can't stop flailing, and certainly not enough to accept the real advantages that are hers to accept by virtue of where she is living...

...which undoubtedly means that, regardless of how much you want to help her, you can't.

I can't imagine what you are going through now, and I am so sorry.

At least, she is in a place where there IS a safety net...and within a hugely-extended "family" who will help, if she will allow herself to be helped.

I hope the very best for her...and for you.

:( :(

I, too, am a fierce Mama-bear who will not, under any circumstances, ever let a child (of whatever age) fall upon hard times if I can help it.

I have been accused of "enabling," but it hasn't worked out that way. I just helped them steady themselves while they got their feet back under themselves, and then they were on their ways again.

Sometimes, we all need a hand to hang onto, just for a while, long enough to regain our balance.

Amyjo, I'm so sorry for your situation. The thing about mental illness is that those who suffer from it often end up alienating those who might otherwise be willing to help them. I just saw a neighbor, a single woman about my age who was a fellow teacher, lose her home. I think she had the money to pay her mortgage, but lacked the organizational skills and wherewithal to do so. She shunned me for many, many years over a misperceived "slight." I felt sorry for her, but given her attitude, had no capacity to help her.

At least your daughter appears to have that one rabbi. I think that is the secret, having one or more people that she trusts. Hopefully she will allow them to help her.

Amyjo,
I am so sorry that your are going through this. I have only a slight knowledge of how heart-broken you are.

But, it's not over yet.

Summer is right--"at least your daughter appears to have that one rabbi."

Good luck, our Amyjo!