I got this inane email from someone I haven't spoken to in years about my son going on a mission. How did he even get my email?? And any communication in that time has included some insensitive and stupid comments. I dropped him from social media years ago, but somehow he still stalks me.

Here it is. I was thinking of ignoring it, but maybe I'll respond...if I feel like it will be hurtful (I'm terrible, I know.) So I welcome your best, cutting responses that I may include.

His message:

"XXXXX congratulations on X being assigned to serve in the XX XX mission (and leaving tomorrow)! Even though the likelihood of him learning Spanish as a missionary (like his pater familia) is slim, and I don't know about your relationship to the Church, what a proud dad you must be that he is choosing to serve others for two years."

My response would be as follows:


Wow, even after all these years you still are only capable of a douche bag communication. I'm sure that you don't intend to say the wrong thing, but somehow you always include something idiotic. That is the definition of a douche bag: Someone who is idiotic but doesn't realize it.

"I don't know about your relationship to the Church" suggests that I'm an apostate. What do you know about me after all these years? Why even mention that?

No, I'm not proud. I'm not proud that my son will pay his own way to promote a pedophile who forced two fourteen-year olds to "marry" him so he could have sex with them. Threatened with an angel holding a flaming sword and the damnation of their families if they didn't comply. And, by the way, don't tell Emma.

Does this make sense? Even the LDS church acknowledged these things. Finally, after how many years of denials. And the Church even admitted that these were marriages were "generally including the possibility of sexual relations." Oh, convenient. The Church says that sex was not out of the question. I'm pretty sure JS took his liberties.

Look into a hat at a stone to translate the Book of Mormon. Not the pretty paintings of JS reading the golden plates through inspiration...yet after all these years the Church has finally admitted that this is what really happened. Does this sound crazy to you yet?

Four or five different versions of the first vision? Some common elements, but some VERY different things changed or inserted in the narrative. Why so many different versions? So what really happened? Was it one or two personages? Yeah, big difference. But I bet you didn't know.

The fraud doesn't stop there. The Book of Abraham, presumed to be translated from ancient papyri...yet scholars who actually understand what it means say that the translation isn't accurate. It's not even close. And definitely not written by Abraham. It's a common Egyptian funeral script. Doesn't stop the LDS church from claiming, "Well, it inspired Joseph Smith to give revelation."

Nothing that contradicts the LDS faith is acceptable. All criticisms are "anti" and should be ignored. Doesn't that sound like a cult?

Which leads me to "..what a proud dad you must be..." Really? Why? He's going to shill a fake religion and try to steer others from their own beliefs, when every Mormon won't take a minute to listen to another person's beliefs because it could harm them? Talk with them about your beliefs but can't stand to hear theirs.

They tell you what underwear to put on, mimic Masonic rituals, ask you questions about masturbation in your teens, and require you to pay money to go to the temple. Their corporation doesn't require inspiration or revelation to determine the next prophet, the seniority of the apostle does. When was the last time a prophet had a revelation?

Stay in your cult. That's what it is. By every definition. But you are clearly too stupid to accept it. Doesn't surprise me. And at the very least don't contact me with your insipid messages.



Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2017 03:30AM by txrancher.

That is the most concise description of how the mormon church started...

Strong and honest response.

Just hit send, op. He deserves to be told the hell off. You might want to add a bit at the end saying - I don't know how you got my email, but do not contact me again. Ever. Never

As difficult as it may be txrancher, I'm sure you know the best response will be brief:


"Many apostates' relationship to the church is much more devout than yours, for they have read the revelations of the essays. Can you claim the same? Have you armored your faith with knowledge?"

(link the LDS site essays)

-txrancher




Since Douche has no problem rubbing salt into wounds, imply that Douche has been offensive in his lack of TBM knowledge.

You can confirm/deny nothing of your "relationship to the church" (or your feelings about your son going) while smacking him down as offensively ignorant of his own church/faith. In other words, sh## where he eats and leave.

In the real world, quote marks should be placed around the words "devout" and "revelations", but in TBMland, qoutes might help the Douch to understand your actual feelings - have none of that. Let Douche wonder about his offensive ignorance of LDS 'til the cows come home.

Then, respond no more. (Unless, of course, in the unlikely event that he is able to eventually comprehend the gravity of the essays.)

Others are better than I, so you and they will be able to pen craftier prose, but my response would be along those lines.

I agree with brevity.

I'd be tempted to act like I don't know who he is. Are you a friend of my son's?

If that's impossible, either ignore him or send a one-liner. Sending him a long email lets him know you care, and that he was able to goad you. Don't let him get the satisfaction.

^^THIS^^

Short and sweet. Make him question himself. It might even make a part of him scared to read the essays. What a conflict for him. Any other long rant will only validate his faith in his mind.

At least he'll "know about your relationship to the Church".

I'd want to tell them off. It strikes me that they're trying to rub your nose in your apostasy and are deliberately saying something they know will get to you.

Cut out everything between "Don't tell Emma" and "Doesn't that sound like a cult."

It's too much. My eyes glaze over when I run into stuff like that.

Actually, I think you should just edit it down to this:

"No, I'm not proud. I'm not proud that my son will pay his own way to promote a pedophile who forced two fourteen-year olds to "marry" him so he could have sex with them. Threatened with an angel holding a flaming sword and the damnation of their families if they didn't comply. And, by the way, don't tell Emma.

Which leads me to "..what a proud dad you must be..." Really? Why? He's going to shill a fake religion and try to steer others from their own beliefs, when every Mormon won't take a minute to listen to another person's beliefs because it could harm them?

Do not contact me again."

Your response is perfect. I think just using the first and last line would be good enough. ;-D

I agree with Greyfort that there is nothing friendly about this email. The man is deliberately trying to get under your skin. So don't let him see you sweat.

I would either delete and block his email, or page Honest TBM to write you a response that would pass muster on the surface, but be quietly subversive.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2017 09:44AM by summer.

I agree. I don't think this merits a response. Why let him bait you? Block this dude and be done with him.

Boom

Sometimes you need to be blunt with mormon douchebags.

First, the guy DID intend to say what he said and knew what he was saying. It is classic passive aggression--going just far enough to sting but not far enough to have to take responsibility. Or, is that classic Mormon? Anyway, my response:

"Please do not insult me with your congratulations. My son has been duped as have you by a cult that continues with the ways of the con artist who started it. He is not "serving others." My son is serving a very rich church.(See also, cattle ranches, large corporations, tithing, and malls et al.) I am very torn as I support my son out of my deep love for him and having to watch him participate in a scam. This is actually an emotionally painful time for me.

Congratulations to you too! It takes a lot of stamina to keep your head in the sand that long. You're a champ! By the way, has the debate been settled yet? Was it 33 or 34 wives that Joseph Smith had? And did he ever make an 'honest woman" out of Fanny Alger?"

That would be me and I would send it. It's hard to take this stuff isn't it? I hope you find what is right for you, but I couldn't let it pass. This was needling, Mormon needling. Pure and simple

I like this, lol!

Cathartic I'm sure but too long IMO. He'll stop reading long before the end.

First and last paragraph only, and end with something like

"And go f*** your senile false prophet, you ignorant mormon twit."

"It is truely sad that some people can only feel good about themselves by trying to bring others down. More than sad, it is downright pathetic."

Even though you may feel better, you gain nothing by "telling him off".

In fact, doing so will further entrench him, and create more Mormons through his offspring.

It is better to just delete it and leave him wondering.

The best way to win an argument is to avoid it in the first place.

Hey douche knuckle, good to hear from you. How are you, you sack of bloody balls? Anyway, fuck you.

All the best, txrancher.

This is actually my favorite so far. Somehow very appropriate. Made me smile.

Ignoring this email would be the best response. This person is hostile towards you and is looking for a reaction/ fight. Why give it to him? There is no response you can come up with that will make a change in his way of thinking. Not worth your time or energy. Imagine the disappoint this person will feel when he gets no reaction from you, that will make the biggest impact. And now that this person has made their poor character obvious continue to block and cut this person out of your life so you don't have to deal with this kind of behavior towards you.

I'd be more proud if he were going off to prison for two years. At least there he wouldn't be attempting to ruin lives by selling a psychologically damaging cult started by proven con men.

I would not dignify the troll with a personal revelation, I mean reply, from you.

I would post his statement and your reply on each and every one of your social media, and ask all of your friends to like and repost it.
I would also send it to everyone you know who knows him, no matter how superficially (like his boss and coworkers).
It may be of interest to them to know how this man treats people who have tried to ignore him for many years!

But by no means answer directly to him. Never!

I agree with the many who have said you should ignore the email.

The entire point of the email was to get a rise out of you. If you respond, you have rewarded Mr. Douchebag.

Ignoring him will make him wonder, which means you won. He won't even be sure you read or received his email if you don't reply.

Hold your cards close to your chest. Don't lay them on the table.

CateS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hold your cards close to your chest. Don't lay
> them on the table.

Yes! Write a response and burn it if you need to. This sort of nonsense you received doesn't deserve a response. You have precious life energy - don't waste it.

Plus, you have a son going on a mission. That's enough for now. These gnats who send you random inane emails aren't worth the time. You just need to maintain your sanity whilst your son is away.

Thanks for the responses, lol--they are all great bit of advice and welcomed.

I will add this: Although he sounds like he's trying to get under my skin, the truth is (I am certain) that he desperately wants to be my friend. He always has. He just has a knack for saying something stupid in the process of trying to be witty or smart.

I used to know him in an old ward about a dozen years ago. He even worked in an office that I was in, but a subordinate a few layers under me. He's just a dolt that is truly ignorant of his stupidity.

As they say: With friends like that, you don't need enemies.

I disagree with the suggestions to not respond.

Just say, "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

When you don't respond to a narcissist they think they bitch-slapped you GOOD!

"It's been so long I can barely remember that your response is typically rude and presumptive."

Don't sent any response back, you don't need a friend like this.

As to the "you must be so proud of your son" (I get this a lot), I just say the truth, "I love my son unconditionally."

I really appreciate your posts txrancher!

"XXXXX congratulations on X being assigned to serve in the XX XX mission (and leaving tomorrow)! Even though the likelihood of him learning Spanish as a missionary (like his pater familia) is slim, and I don't know about your relationship to the Church, what a proud dad you must be that he is choosing to serve others for two years."


Maybe this?:

I love my son, and as you had mentioned, it was his choice to go on a mission. Not mine.

I have an opportunity for you to "Serve" me as well:
You can serve me by losing my contact information and never contacting me again.

Best,
txrancher

You don't need to sink to the level he thinks of you in order to make your point.

I think you should mention the "service" part somewhere. (Even though you've really addressed it). Service? seriously? I'm so sick of Mormons describing what their missionaries do as "service". I think they started doing that when critics became so vocal and it became public that their "mission" work isn't service at all.

Everything you say is right on the mark and totally justified.

I can't stand when people think they have a right to an opinion on your family when it's really none of their business.

After years of never bothering to make an effort of visiting their grandkids (certainly their loss, not ours) TBM MIL has the nerve to send our grown children notes that say, "We'd really like to see you." Seriously? Then maybe you should have made an effort.

The comments about you notwithstanding........ he has totally insulted your son by implying that he is too stupid to learn Spanish. That alone would be enough to set me off.

txrancher, after reading your post, the very first thing that came to mind was a classic reply which my dad used to use... it is as follows:

"Fuck you. Rude letter follows."

Than, leave him hanging without sending any additional correspondence whatsoever. Ever. Never.

"The likelihood of you being a normal, compassionate, intelligent human being is slim. No, wait -- it's zero."

Short and sweet. :)