Hello all. I've been thinking about a couple of things lately and I wanted to find out how others feel.

When I went through the temple for the first time I was disgusted and horrified. I went back a few more times to see if it got any better but of course it didn't. This was the push I needed to leave for good. My question is: How many of you left/resigned after your first temple experience? I should mention I didn't have to make the signs of killing myself but I was horrified nevertheless.

My second question is this: How many of you ditched religion for good after getting out of the cult.

Thank you in advance for your answers.

Never did the endowment but i ditched religion for good after seeing the endowment online and started seeing a trauma counselor for lds trauma and that seemed to help a lot to get somewhat healthy again and its worked out great i dont have this religious pressure on me all time like i once did.

I was shocked and horrified after going through the temple. I felt beyond betrayed for having to agree to my own murder ahead of knowing that I was agreeing to that. Beautiful experience my a$$.

I didn't leave then, but I only went through the temple one other time and then never again. I didn't not find it to be a place of peace.

But something definitely broke that day. I never saw the church the same way I did before. It was now harboring a sinister side. I could not embrace that. I slowly drifted into oblivion.

Now that I'm out (been out since '87), I toyed with Catholicism, Orthodox Greek and Episcopalian. None of it was a good fit because I don't believe there is a god. My lack of a belief made my BS meter trigger too often.

Thats what i saw online was the agreeing to your own murder part and then i was out, the church part of it all was a great facade i admit that i felt super deceived and betrayed and realized that everybody was doing this as i was growing up having no clue it was a cult and i realized that god may not be a good dude if he supports death oaths and that was super depressing and still is.

Once I left the cult, I was done with it all.

I did the blood oaths in the temple. I was not horrified. I took it in stride since I was with my father whom I trusted, it was at the beginning of the ceremony, and I was sure we were going to see real angels hanging around the crown molding if not Jesus himself. I thought of the oaths as proving yourself worthy to see the really good stuff to come. However, by the time I got to the end and did a slow rumba with the worker at the veil, my only thought was, "Is that all there is to the Temple?" It seemed like a bizarre stake conference or something and the upside down pentagrams were kind of strange. I was very very Mormon style naive but very let down by the experience.

I looked at other churches and even Buddhism. They all seemed the same to me. Same cake--different frosting. I couldn't think of a good reason anymore to believe in something just because everybody I knew believed. Couldn't go on what I considered hearsay and legend. By this time I wanted to DO life, not talk about.

I was disgusted & horrified after my first time through the temple, too. It didn't help that the old fart doing the "washing and annointing" fondled me as he was doing it. And yes, it was intentional and rather long-lasting.

I also did the death gestures (first time through was in 1979). I walked out thinking, "What the hell happened to the 'jesus wants me for a sunbeam' church I grew up in?"

Sadly, though, I didn't bail on it right then. My first time was just before leaving for the MTC for my mission, and I let my parents talk me into going. Went through a bunch of times at the MTC, and you're right -- it doesn't get any better. But I had been convinced by others that there was something wrong with ME for not feeling "spiritually uplifted" by the masonic gobbledygook. And I fell for it. Little did I know at the time that they were simply numb to the insanity, and there was nothing whatsoever wrong with me.

So I didn't leave until 3 months after coming back from my mission. Thankfully (or maybe not...), there was no temple in our mission, so we never once went there while I was out. I said "maybe not" above, because perhaps if I'd made more temple trips, my breaking point might have come sooner...hard to say.

As to "ditching religion..."

I reasoned my way out of the mormon church. By not accepting its truth claims blindly, but requiring evidence before believing something. As there was no evidence to support their claims, I tossed 'em.

Then I went on a search for "god." Using the same reasoning. Taking the claims about gods and religions as not meriting belief until/if evidence showed them valid. I spent about 3 years on that search.
And found nothing. Zip, nada, zilch. No evidence to back up any of the claims of any religion, or that any "god" thing was even probable let alone existed.

So, yeah -- I ditched all religion. And 'faith.' I'll stick with demonstrable facts, they're much more useful in reality.

I too said to myself what happened to that jolly religion i was in when i was a kid when i was a teenager i could feel something was wrong nobody would talk about the temple and i dont play that game when i saw the temple ritual online i finally realized that i wasnt the weirdo it was everyone else including family it was like a twilight zone.

The first time I went was my wedding day. I was barely 18. The whole thing left me traumatized, and with nobody to talk to about it.

I didn't go back again for almost 20 years. By then they'd toned things down a lot, and I wasn't emotionally invested with a wedding.

I went back about 5 times before I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't long after that when I found the truth of mormonism on Mormonthink.com. I was done. No more of that Masonry vooDoo crap for me.

By the time I went to the temple, the practices changed. I liked the film with the famous opera singer in it. The experiences caused me much reflection. After I left, I take my mother to the local Catholic Church. I am done with religion, but care about my spiritual well being. I was shattered after my shelf collapsed and need to heal. I love God independent of any church and religion. I am not worried about my salvation.

My first temple experience had me thinking I was in a crazy, silly, juvenile 12 year old tree club ceremony that I was supposed to believe was the most spiritual and important experience of my life. Seriously? I found the whole thing to be dumb, disappointing, and just as dreary as sacrament meetings, sunday school, seminary....you name it. Plus, did they really expect me to take my own life? That, to me, was dingy and just plain out there in space somewhere.

In the same time frame I was attending the university where I was exposed to philosophy, anthropology, geology and many other subjects which were not disappointing nor dreary, and these, along with Fawn Brodie's No Man Knows My History actually were based on evidence and facts. At this point I knew that Mormonism was a weird cult.

Looking for evidence for a god or gods followed....my search left me finding none that convinced me that there is and until that time, I will leave it at that.

I went through the temple the first time after I'd been mentally out of the Church for three years. I'd read the exposes of the ceremony and even had the "health in the navel" thing at the veil memorized.

At the veil the worker whispered the "health in the navel" thing to me and I was able to repeat it back to him verbatim, the first time, unhaltingly. I'm sure he was impressed.

Oh, by the way when they said, "bow your head and say 'yes,'" I bowed my head and muttered "bullshit."

My first time, just before my mission, it wasn't bad. I don't think that would have been surprised by anything, but then again it was 1989 and yes the "slit your throat" thing.

The one thing that made it better was that my mother was waiting for me beyond the veil. How can you not love your mother and the look she gives you? It was priceless, for an otherwise fraud (as I know now) kind of thing.

My son just left for his mission. I can't believe it. He's such a nice, sweet, kid...but reluctant to do a lot of things. Handsome but shy and wants to please.

I asked him, "How was the temple?" He said, "It was really cool!" WTF? Really? I take him at his word, but wow. I don't remember if I told him or not that when I went through, they told me to slit my throat for revealing anything--maybe it was my 13 year old daughter I told last month--anyway, wow. Let's see how week number two goes in the MTC. I hope he ditches it all.

I am certain he was pressured by his mother and step father to go. But he's such an easy-going kid that maybe he'll stick it out. Ugh.