Posted by:
The Man in Black
(
)
Date: May 31, 2011 04:04AM
In Greek mythology, Lethe was one of the five rivers of Hades. Also known as the river of oblivion, the Lethe flowed around the cave of Hypnos (meaning sleep) and through the Underworld, where all those who drank from it experienced complete and total forgetfulness. (Kind of like Dumbledore when he drank the waters of he who shall not be named).
For most of my life I knew what would happen when I died. I'd meet Joseph and if he liked me then meet Jesus, and if Jesus liked me then meet Elohim and give him a secret handshake, and then I'd either have seed (a penis) or not. It was pretty simple. Be righteous, keep your junk and use it for eternity or not, amen.
As an exMormon, I have no idea what will happen to me when I die or if there will even be a me. The thought that I may entirely cease to exist scares the hell out of me, yet somehow gives me comfort. I mean, if I don't exist I won't care right? Much like I don't care about whatever may have or have not happened in the Jurassic era (no offence Raptor, I'm sure you evolved and ate lots of shit and stuff, but you're extinct and all that matters to me is that my car gets 30 miles to the gallon off you and your meal's corpses).
I think that for a lot of Mormons they can't leave because it admits that death is really, really, fucking scary. Because nothing is more scary than that which we do not know. "To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil..."
We do not know what happens to us, nor do we know if there is even an "us" after we die. What is it like to be eternally oblivious? Does it mean that our life, no matter how significant, awesome, or bad-ass it was, was futile? Does it mean that even though we exist now, it will be as though we never were? Will we know the difference? Does it mean that everything that means something, means nothing?
I wish I knew.
There are a few things that I do know. I know I am a good man. I know that I love truth even if the truth is unpleasant. I also know that I did my best to be true to myself and to be loyal to those whom I know and love, even if I am ostracized from them for my curiosity and love for truth. Probably most importantly and significantly, I learned most of this from an animal, who may or may not exist in any form of consciousness today.
I don't know. And that is the most intelligent and honest thing I can say.
Those who claim to "know" are lying or insane.
Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.