Why can't people who are sick stay home?!! Especially home from public locations that are optional, as in places you just want to go but are not mandatory places for you to be.

My family has someone in the house who is at high risk for flu complications due to an underlying lung condition. Even bad colds have required hospitalization before and we've almost lost this loved one twice. We are proactive as far as everyone in the household getting our flu shots every year, washing hands, and trying to steer clear of sick people, but there is only so much we can do because we can't control other people's behavior. This year with the flu shot not being as effective and people becoming severely ill with the predominant strain, I am freaking out. We as a family have cut way down/almost eliminated recreational outings because everywhere you go you can count on people hacking out a lung and spewing snot droplets all over. (I even had to switch to doing my grocery shopping in the middle of the night when the stores are emptier.) We do, however, have to show up for work and school as we can't hide in our house for all of flu season to avoid the endless stream of people who go out in public sick.

One of my kids is in high school and, although we have tried to curtail some of his contact with crowds so as not to bring flu home to the vulnerable family member, we don't feel it's fair to lock him up all winter completely. Today he was at the gym and some guy next to him puked all over the floor and equipment. A gym worker came over and said, "What happened....did you just overdo?" The guy said, "No, I have influenza so that's probably why I threw up." My kid, upon hearing that, immediately left and came home and showered and put all the clothes he was wearing straight into the washing machine, but I think he's now been exposed. If he gets it, the rest of the household will probably get it, including the one for whom it would be so dangerous. These kinds of people make me so mad! It's one thing to go out and expose people when you think you just have a sniffle and don't know any better, but once you have been diagnosed??? Really??? I can't believe how selfish that is! To me, this is no different than drunk driving. It's irresponsible and you could kill someone and you just don't give a flying fig about anyone else.

I am not gonna make it through this season. I feel like I'm suffocating my anxiety is so high. I *cannot* lose this loved one! I'm sorry, but the life of my loved one and people like him is infinitely more important than some jerk's desire to go out to the movies, the gym, the library, a restaurant, and even school or work.

I know there is nothing I can do about this. I guess I just needed to vent because I feel like the intense anxiety I've been dealing with all season long is getting into full blown panic. To make matters worse, any kind of escapism outside the home is not an option because I don't want to up the chances even a little bit that I will bring this disease home to him from one of those optional places. The combination of unrelenting anxiety, cabin fever, the prospect of so many more weeks of this sh** to go before flu hopefully starts to decline, and now anger at this moron who decided to come and puke on everyone when he knew he was influenza positive just has me at the end of my rope. Please, please, please stay home when you're sick! People who congratulate themselves for "powering through" stuff like this don't deserve admiration; they deserve the opposite. And my loved one doesn't deserve to be put at such risk due to someone else's recklessness and irresponsibility!

Sorry, I was hoping typing this would make me feel better but it isn't working. I am going to send it into cyberspace anyway and hope that is somehow cathartic.

Nobody understands the serious protocols that you are going through unless they have lived it themselves. My youngest daughter had a special condition that left her susceptible to sickness and she spent half of her life in the hospital because of it.

Moving across the country, I sent my wife on the plane with my daughter while the rest of us drove. My wife went to stay with my sister before I caught up with her. While there, my daughter caught a simple cold from her cousin. By the time I arrived with the rest of the children, my daughter was fighting for her life in the hospital due to pneumonia. And there she lay for four months. Until she got better. Two days before she was to come home from the hospital, a nurse with a cold attended to her. She got sick again but this time she died in 7 days. She didn't stand a chance. She lived a total of 3 years and 2.5 months. Kiara was her name.

I do not want to stoke fear, but this is the reality of our lives. I am sorry for your stress and struggle. Hopefully, yours is not a losing battle. The stress is so extreme that my wife contracted cancer 18 months after my daughter passed away. She survived but the long-term ramifications are still here. The love that you have for your loved one creates tremendous stress. I wish that I could tell you that it will be okay but sometimes it gets much worse before anything settles. It is a hellish nightmare that persists every day and is unrelenting.

The only silver lining is the consolation that my daughter does not have to live a miserable existence. Not much consolation at all. I want my baby back. Dearly I miss her. Take as much video and photos that you can of your loved one. You will never have enough if the unfortunate happens!

I am so, so, sorry for your predicament. Your stress is exactly the same as mine because you know how the story will probably end. I swore that I would never let my baby pass and the eight times she recovered were miraculous. But like a cat, there seems to be a finite number of lives given before the inevitable. Cherish it. You've got one shot, so don't waste it being angry with others like I was. Feel sorry for them in their ignorance. That's all I can say. Hopefully, your loved one survives a good deal longer.

Wow... I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragic reminder of how important it is to stay home when you're sick.

My daughter's name is also Kiara. It isn't a very common name, so I don't see it very often.

Part of the problem is that employers don't give sick leave or not enough sick leave. I only got 10 days when I worked before I got married. Now I work at home. If you get the flu, which I got a few times while working outside the home, you can't take the whole time you are sick off.

I don't get sick nearly as often as I used to since my kids no longer attend school (and one only lives with me now and then).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2018 03:47AM by cl2.

One of my dearest friends in Social Security - and probably the best claims rep I ever worked with - was kind of up-tight about using sick leave. She had no problems with coming to work when sick. She accrued so much sick leave that she was able to have two babies, with plenty of time for recovery, fully paid and still had sick leave left over.

My now-ex could pretty much call his own hours, but he would never take our little boy to the doctor, attend school conferences, or anything domestic. I had to do all of that. And there were times when I took "mental health days," just because I desperately needed some time when I wasn't accountable to anyone.

For the last year that I worked, I crossed off each day on the calendar with a bright red marker. I had also counted back and could tell you, on any given day, how many work days I had left.

I was GONE the day after I became eligible.

That's so very sad that your daughter was lost so tragically.

Life is fragile. I try to remember that, to hold my loved ones a little closer because we don't really know how long any of us have before we're gone.

Kiara is a lovely name.

The stress of losing a child is overwhelming.

You are not alone, and welcome to vent. Should the irresponsible and/or ignorant be confronted?

The choice is to try to shame them, and possibly get shot for hurting their feelings, but even that, after the exposure, is too late. Venting is a way to help pre-spread the shame necessary to help keep the irresponsible/ignorant at home.

Tell your stories, make the stories viral. Cherish, spread the passion. It's the only fire we have.

According to the news, we have only about 10-12 more weeks of flu season left. You are wise to stay out of public places. We made it through Christmas, which is the time of the year people gather close together the most, so I think the worst is over.

One of my last years in the cult, had a bout of a bad illness, and had to quit my Mormon callings, and take a leave of absence from my job. As I was recovering, and getting my strength back, the Mormons coerced me into teaching Primary, as an "easier" calling, than my other 4 callings had been--yes, 4 at once. Kids would show up in class, flushed and bleary-eyed with fever, and whining that they were sick. They would sneeze or cough on me, and 4 days later, I would get a cold. For me, a cold lasts 2 weeks. If I rest and take good care of myself, it lasts 14 days.

I would have to find a substitute, which in our ward was no easy task. The Primary people would tell me to come and teach, anyway, even while sick, but I didn't want to spread my germs to others. I would get better, and teach again, and few days after, I would be sick again. After about 3 months of this, I gave up, and quit the Primary. All of the diseases were weakening me, and my more serious illness was coming back.

I don't think I'm a hypochondriac or a germ-phobe. Fear of disease and death and disability are real fears. Germs and viruses are real--more real than the Mormon hocus-pocus blessings that are supposed to cure people.

I have quite a few Mormon friends who like to travel, and they plan very expensive trips, tours, and cruises. Some of them go scuba diving. If you get a cold, you can't dive. One Mormon traveler friend is a doctor, who advises everyone to NOT go to church for 2 weeks before a planned trip! He was specific about church. He still goes to work (around sick contagious people all day), but he and his family stay away from church. He thinks the facilities--the bathrooms, drinking fountains, door knobs and furniture--are more unsanitary than other public buildings, which are professionally cleaned.

If a grocery checker or clerk appears to have a cold, I will take my stuff and go stand in another line!

I grocery shop at Smith's, which has a self-checkout.

If I have to go to the doctor, or instacare, for me or one of my grandchildren, we wait in the car, and the receptionist texts me when it's time for us to go in to see the doctor.

I don't eat out at all. I have hand sanitizer in the car, which I use after shopping and touching the electronic buttons, the cart handle, pens, door handles, etc.

I wash my hands when I come home, with soap and water. Being obsessed--not just prudent, but obsessed--with doing this has helped me get fewer illnesses.

My GP doctor says that the only thing that really works is zinc losenges. Suck on those, the instant you feel a cold coming on, and continue for the first few days of the cold. For me, it makes the cold less severe.

My TBM daughter was called to the nursery, last October, and has been taking her toddler there with her. That toddler has been sick constantly, since October. My daughter and her other children have caught more colds than ever before--ever. I don't know how to get through to her, that the cult is not worth sacrificing your health (let alone your time and money and happiness.)

In the schools, a sick child is sent home.

I have seen sick children in sacrament meeting, lying down on the pew, with a blanket and a pillow, and parents asking for sympathy, and being self-righteous for not missing church.

Can't the Mormons learn anything? I think they don't give a darn about anybody else, and the cult comes first. If you die, then it's your time. What else would you expect from a tribe that doesn't believe in unconditional love.

Mother Who Knows Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> My TBM daughter was called to the nursery, last
> October, and has been taking her toddler there
> with her. That toddler has been sick constantly,
> since October. My daughter and her other
> children have caught more colds than ever
> before--ever. I don't know how to get through to
> her, that the cult is not worth sacrificing your
> health (let alone your time and money and
> happiness.)
>
> In the schools, a sick child is sent home.
>

My children's pediatrician asks parents not to put their kids in church nurseries. He says more of his patients contract communicable illnesses there than anywhere else. Of course not everyone follows his advice. With most churches other than LDS (Catholics aren't big on nurseries for worship service time, either) nurseries are for worship time. With newborns, it's a breeze to keep them contained and quiet for an hour-or-so long worship service. One they hit six months or so, though, it's a whole different ball game. Our pediatrician suggests that his patients whose parents go to churches where noisy babies are frowned upon in sanctuaries become temporary heathens until the kids are 3 1/2 or so and can go to regular Sunday School classes. He especially doesn't want six-month-old babies being placed in nurseries in winter months with crib and playpen sheets that may not be washed all that frequently, not to mention the toys that go straight into babies' mouths.

When my wife taught kindergarten, she had a child whose parents were farm laborers. A month or so after enrollment, the parents changed farm labor contractors, and neglected to inform the school. I highly doubt they were being deceptive; it probably just slipped their minds. They're not paid if they don't work, and they risk losing their jobs if they miss many days. Their little girl had been absent for two days and then returned to school. My wife noticed that she was glassy-eyed, and felt her forehead, which was uncomfortably hot to the touch.

Two district nurses were out with the flu, and the health aide's child was sick. The parents couldn't be found. The child's temp was almost 106. She was transported by ambulance to the local hospital. Parents sign forms authorizing school personnel to give consent for necessary medical treatment, but hospital personnel aren't happy about providing services based on those forms. They had to in this case, though. There was a serious concern that the little girl might have meningitis, and she had to be given a lumbar puncture. The principal taught my wife's class so that she could be with the little girl. The lumbar puncture was negative, but the child had streptococcal pneumonia. The parents indicated no drug allergies on the forms parents complete each year, but parents don't always understand the forms, particularly if they've had limited education even in their native language of Spanish, and no actual health records were available other than the required immunization records. The doctors took a chance and administered ampicillin intravenously, with a lower-than-normal dose at first, and thank goodness the poor child had no adverse reaction.

The little girl was in the hospital for five days. During that time her parents could continue to work in the fields because the hospital took care of the girl. One parent spent every non-working hour at the hospital while the other parent cared for the six-year-old brother. They had no relatives in the country.

When the child was released from the hospital, the parents were in a quandary. They couldn't afford the loss of income. My wife mysteriously became ill for five days, during which she cared for the little girl at the family's apartment. The next week, my wife-s teaching partner mysteriously became ill and stayed with the child. My wife and her teaching partner both commented on the immaculate state of the humble apartment. My wife, exaggerating slightly in her usual self-deprecating manner, said that one could eat off the floor of our kitchen because there was typically so much food spilled on it that hadn't yet been swept up yet, but that one could have eaten off that family's kitchen floor because it was practically sterile.(The principal wasn't fooled by his teachers having called in sick, but he didn't care. He had a heart. He went to the grocery store and loaded up on fruit juice, ginger ale, 7-up, jello, soup, and other things that might appeal to a sick child.) After that, the little girl was ready to return to school.

Parents with such jobs need more flexibility. They didn't want to send their sick baby to school, but they had no choice if they wanted a roof over their heads and food on their table.

The parents could not have been more appreciative. When our children were born, we received FEDEX deliveries of a beautiful hand-crocheted afghan for our son and a hand-pieced and quilted quilt for our daughter from them. My wife used them when the children were babies, then had them dry-cleaned and sealed so that our children can use them for their own babies someday. Our children will know the stories behind the afghan and quilt.

I agree with you. However, I must state that low-wage workers are sometimes not given sick days. If they don't work, they don't get paid, and if they don't get paid they will not be able to meet their rent and other obligations. This was once my situation when I was cooking for a restaurant. And yes, I worked sick while cooking other people's food, mainly business people and tourists. So you may wish to add eating out to your list, along with any other situation where you are dealing directly with a low-wage worker.

The Maryland assembly is currently trying to pass a law that all employers must offer a set number of sick days. I am at a loss as to why anyone would object to this.

As a teacher, I have very often seen parents sending sick kids to school. I have sometimes had to have children go home almost right away. They can't do it. A number of working parents have no backup care for their sick children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2018 02:29AM by summer.

I understand that employers are a big part of the problem and that paid sick days might help. However, I think what needs to change is society calling it acceptable for this to go on. If you are sick and contagious, stay home. If you do have sick leave, don't screw your employer as payback for doing the right thing by calling in and using it when you actually aren't sick but just don't feel like coming in.

I really think the drunk driving analogy fits here. If you decide to have some drinks, fine, no problem. However, the fact that you are under the influence and can't drive your car home is then *your* problem. You spring for the cab fare or the Uber; don't drive drunk and put everyone else at risk because you didn't budget for it. At that point, it doesn't matter if you "can't afford it." If you are sick and contagious, for the days that you are contagious, it is *your* responsibility, not mine or anyone else's. If you go out in public or send your sick kid to school to be babysat and my family catches it as a result, I can't afford to miss school/work or pay the doctor or have my child hospitalized because you decided to make your problem mine. If you can afford to have kids, that implies realizing that there will be times when your kids cost you money or cause major inconvenience. I can't afford it any more than you can! Especially when the stream of people who make their problem mine is endless and not self-limited like staying home for a few days while you are contagious is.

During the swine flu epidemic of 2009, people were sending their kids to school sick. I had a friend whose child was in my kid's class (my kid who is not as high risk) come right out and tell me her child had been diagnosed with H1N1 but she had a college class she "couldn't miss" and was going to send him to school because she "had no other choice." I then had no choice but to pull all of my kids out of the school immediately, since I knew for sure it was being allowed to spread at school. I "couldn't afford" to do this, but was lucky enough to negotiate an UNPAID leave of absence to teach my kids at home until a vaccine was available. I missed that income for a couple of months and it was *hard*. I had worked hard and exercised discipline to save up a little nest egg for such occasions but it was difficult not to have money coming in. So I am able to sympathize, but still don't understand why everyone else's problem had to become my problem when I "could not afford" to miss either. Given the choice that was forced on me, I decided it was a no brainer that I even more adamantly couldn't afford to have my child suffer and die from flu complications.

I am an introvert so activism is not in my comfort zone, but I am trying to do what I can to encourage employers to do the right thing and provide sick days. Whenever I get a survey printed out on a receipt, I take that survey online and wherever they let me type in my own words I tell them that the most important thing to earn my business is to provide sick leave for their employees and require that sick employees stay home. I tell them if that means slightly higher prices it is well worth it to me. If I observe a sick employee being allowed/required to work, I complain about it on the survey and ask the company to please provide sick leave cause I don't want to shop where that is happening. I know I can't do anything about sick customers coming in to shop or go to the movies or the gym, but if I can affect change to keep even a few patient zeros from spreading disease to the person who, along with his siblings, is my whole world, it's something.

I'm sure my venting makes me sound like a huge @-hole but this is *my child* and losing him is just something I can't be OK with. Hope you understand.

Anxiety Through The Roof, you're not coming cross as an @hole by venting. I happen to agree with you on almost every point.However, I would like to plead the case for SOME (not ALL) farmworkers.

Farm workers are doing work that few other people want to do. They havw limited education (they're not the kind of educated immigrants POTUS wants. Most come from a particulare "shithole country" directly south of us, but some come from other "shithole" Central American countries further south. Education levels are often very low. These immigrantsare not taking away jobs that American s want.

In my perfect world, too, people would have the children they could support. Because of education levels being so low, immigrants don't always understand the most effective forms of birth control and how to access it. They think they've done extremely well by figuring it out and limiting themselves to two children, and they think they ARE supporting their kids because they house, clothe them in clean second-hand clothing (from DI except for a couple of Christmas and birthday outfits that my wife sends each year) and feed them (at their own expense with no food stamps or welfare or even free breakfasts or lunches, for which they are eligible but which they are to proud to accept. They want to provide for their children.) Because they're here legally, they've been able to avail themselves of certain educational programs. Both speak English at least comprehensibly now through adult education and through the help of their two children. They've moved to California , and the mother now works at a frozen Mexican food manufacturing and packing factory which offers both health benefits to her family and paid sick leave; The company also understands the plight of working parents with occasionally sick children who soetimes must exceed allotted sick oeave and tries to work with them, and certainly doesn't fire them for missing too many days due to documented child illness. She now is able to stay home from work when her children need to be at home due to illness. The goal is for the father move on from farm labor soon to be hired by the frozen food factory'

My wife has health issues She received a cystic fibrosis diagnosis in her early twenties; it wasn't the most severe of cases or she would have died by then, but the condition was present at birth.

Doctors always knew something was very wrong with Jillian but couldn't quite pinpoint the problem. She didn't totally fit the prototype for CF though she had frequent repiratory and digestive enzyme issues, but all babies at the hospital where she was born were routinely tested for CF. Food went through her almost faster than she could eat it. She managed to drag herself to school every day and to be sweet and kind to the children and to pretend to be energetic though her gut was practically killing her. She was not contagious and posed no risk to anyone else at the school.. Her father is 6'1", her mom is 5'7", two of her brothers are 6'2", and last one is 6'3", and all are decently built. My wife is 5'2" and fights to keep her weight up to the low nineties.

Her father is an OBGYN who, at the time of her birth, had privileges at the hospital where she was born. When she finally received her CF diagnosis at almost 23, he did some sleuthing and located another baby girl born in the same hospital on Jillian's birthdate with the same blood type who had been given the Cystic fibrosis diagnosis. The child's parents were extremely religious, and believed that their baby had been healed by God. I suppose it's possible that it was divine intervention on the othet girl's behalf, but it seems even more likely that the paperwork was mixed up and that the other baby was given Jillian's diagnosis. My mother-in-law says we're just lucky that they didn't mix the babies themselves up and send them home with the wrong parents. Other than the size factor and having wavy hair, Jillian looks just like her mom, and looks like her oldest brother as well, plus dNA analysis confirms that she is her parents' child.

Anyway, in the first twoand-one-half years my wife taught, the only days of school she missed were the five days she stayed home with the little girl. She worked through colon cramping and other cf-related ills because she knew she had missed too many days taking care of the child to miss anymmore, and she knew she wasn't contagious. The other teacher who cared fir the little girl was a sixty-year-old woman who has rheumatoid arthritis. She, too, worked through aches and pains in order to stay with the little girl without missing many other teaching days.

Some employees do abuse sick days. Most teachers aren't among those who abuse sick live though some are. I'm on a school board. When we notice a whole lot of Monday and Friday absences from particular teachers, wwe begin to grow a bit suspicious, yet there;s not much we can do about it. Our teachers have ten sick days per year that they may use without being docked, and it's they're choice as to how to use them. They cannot be seen playing gold when they're supposed to be teaching, but otherwise,if they say they're sick, as professionals, we take them at their word. On the other hand, teaching is a nost demanding job, and many teachers need occasional days off to decompress or they would REALLY become sick.

Anxiety Through the Roof, you did not allude directly to my wife in your comment that sick leave is sometimes abused. Still, I feel responsible for defending both my wife, a former teacher, and other teachers currently in the profession in how they have used and continue to use their sick leave. If anything, most teachers need more rather than less latitude in how their leave can be used. School years have grown longer, with teachers in most states teaching a minimum of 185 days in addition to meetings and trainings that occur before the children arrive in August and after they leave in June. My district's teachers had a total of two weeks of summer inservices this year. There are more holidays than there were in my childhood, but children still must be in school for 185 days 9minus possible one inservice day occurring during the school year. when I was a kid, we attended 175 days of school annually, and no one was encroaching on teachers' summer vacations for trainings and inservices. The idea of three-month summer vacations for eachers is now ancient history in most states.

I probably didn't word my post very clearly.....yes, when I referred to people abusing provided sick leave I meant people like friends of mine who, when on a group camping trip, decided they were having too much fun to go back to work and laughingly faked sick for the call to their employer so they could extend the vacation beyond what they had arranged for, that kind of thing. Using sick days for noncontagious ailments, legitimately needed mental health days, taking care of things that truly can't be taken care of after work or whatever.....all fair game. I just meant people who abuse sick days to the point that they ruin it for everybody else. I also come from a family of hard working teachers and understand that good teachers put in many, many unpaid hours behind the scenes and have job-related stress.

I assure you I totally am not on board any country being demeaned. In fact, I have a multicultural family and some of the people I hold most dear in this life are immigrants from countries some might mistakenly describe in this way. Wonderful people and bad apples from all over the world, which of those groups they are in not tied to where they were born. I have visited some countries that are probably on that list and have found warm, giving fellow human beings, rich cultures, and beautiful places to see. So please rest assured, somehow blaming immigrants for my frustrations was the furthest thing from my intentions. I live in a fairly homogenously white local population so most of the offenders, in terms of my beef with willing vectors in the spread of disease, look just like me and were born here just like me. My issue is with people not understanding or being unwilling to consider the very heavy impacts their bad choices can have on innocent bystanders. Flu can be dangerous even to people without high risk factors. Even if not dangerous, nobody wants the minimium-two-week-long-misery of flu so I would expect people to be able to understand it's not OK to spread it without a care in the world. Certainly, that guy could have postponed his trip to the gym after being diagnosed with what he announced was "influenza A."

I also understand and agree about being able to take "mental health days." I am in desperate need of that right now and would take one if I had anywhere I could go in public to "escape" temporarily without further increasing the chances of bringing the flu home. Only reason I'm not in the middle of a mental health day right this minute is that the only place I would dare go right now is home to stew in my own currently crippling anxiety.

anxietythroughtheroof Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I assure you I totally am not on board any country
> being demeaned. In fact, I have a multicultural
> family and some of the people I hold most dear in
> this life are immigrants from countries some might
> mistakenly describe in this way. Wonderful people
> and bad apples from all over the world, which of
> those groups they are in not tied to where they
> were born. I have visited some countries that are
> probably on that list and have found warm, giving
> fellow human beings, rich cultures, and beautiful
> places to see. So please rest assured, somehow
> blaming immigrants for my frustrations was the
> furthest thing from my intentions. I live in a
> fairly homogenously white local population so most
> of the offenders, in terms of my beef with willing
> vectors in the spread of disease, look just like
> me and were born here just like me. My issue is
> with people not understanding or being unwilling
> to consider the very heavy impacts their bad
> choices can have on innocent bystanders. Flu can
> be dangerous even to people without high risk
> factors. Even if not dangerous, nobody wants the
> minimium-two-week-long-misery of flu so I would
> expect people to be able to understand it's not OK
> to spread it without a care in the world.
> Certainly, that guy could have postponed his trip
> to the gym after being diagnosed with what he
> announced was "influenza A."
>

I should have been clearer, Anxietyofftheroof,in regard to taking my own stab at our nation's chu=ief executive who would deisgnate certain nations as "shitholes' as opposed to somehow impliying that you were in any way aligning yourself with such an attitude. I did not mean to do that.

If what our nation's chief executive wanted to say was that what our nation needs is educated people from whatever country they may hail, I could at least comprehend it while not necessarily agreeging. I'm still of the impressino that, while we cannot help everyone, we should be trying to help those we can help. The late Emma Lazarus must be rolling over in her grave when thinking of how our chief executive disregards her words, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me. I lift my light beside the golden door." We may as well scratch those words off the Statue of Liberty if not knock the statue into ruins altogether considering the way we're treating the vulnerable these days.

IMO most teachers try to limit their sick days. We have to write up extensive sub plans for days that we are out, and that alone is a disincentive for being out very much. I try to limit it to 5-6 days total each year. Some years are less than that.

I have taken 3 sick days so far this year, and ALL of them have been used to catch up with the interminable paperwork. I'm not talking about grading papers. I'm talking about filling out endless forms, collecting data, crunching data, pulling apart data, and analyzing data. The public schools have given us lots of office-related tasks to do, but seem to forget that our regular duties (teaching, planning lessons, running copies, grading papers, etc.) already fill up our workdays and more.

This is why so many teachers are burning out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2018 02:43PM by summer.

i feel for you, and any illness can potentially cause vomiting, but vomiting is typically more indicative of
"stomach flu" type viruses than of actual strains of influenza. You obviously don't want the weakened family member getting THAT, either, but it's the lesser of the evils in most cases. Such viruses (noroviruses, etc.)still are not something you want to expose to someone with a weakened immune system, but they're usually less dangerous that the bona fide influenza strains, which are more respiratory in nature.

Again, a person with an actual strain of influenza CAN vomit,especially one time during the duration of the illness, but the classic "barfy" illnesses aren't usually true cases of influenza.

I wish you the best of luck in keeping your family, and especially your immuno-compromised family member, healthy.

I am SO sorry Paisley, what a terrible loss. And to all of you who are suffering and have family suffering, I am thinking of you.

That strain of flu has not hit Australia yet, our winter is coming. I am NOT happy at the prospect of its arrival.

I agree, stay home if you are ill.

I had a bad tummy bug this last winter (July here) and it was really really awful. It took me several months to get over it completely. I did not go out unless I had to go to the doctor or the chemist and I always wore a mask then. People continued to tell me how awful I looked. I hope others will take the same precautions, along with constant washing of hands, it is the least we can do for our neighbours.

Nursery and church meetings at TSCC were the worst for spreading coughs and colds around. Haven't missed that since leaving one iota.

I had a manager in my current job who would come to work no matter how sick she was in order to save her sick leave for her future retirement benefit. She spread her germs around, and it drove me buggy because she didn't care if she passed it to others.

She had the time to take off, it wasn't like she couldn't afford to stay home.

Another gripe of mine is perfume and cologne some people insist on wearing every day to work and business life. People who have asthma or COPD can't be around the perfume - it's a trigger for their lung disease. Even some soaps and hand lotions have the same effect for COPD sufferers.

It's such a little thing to go without to spare someone having a respiratory attack. A little consideration goes a long way.

The truth about flu is that it is common and contagious. Unless you are willing to go complete hermit, contacting exposure is inevitable. Read up on how to boost your immune system.

My Dad is in a situation like you describe of your own. We made some rules because he’s well known and lots of friends and family visit. Before letting them in the house we ask about all possible symptoms of illness. Have some? Sorry. Come back when you’re better. Everyone has to wash their hands and then use sanitizer. Whether this is working or just luck, he’s been spared so far.

My doctors office asks that patients wear face masks for office visits when they're under the weather with viral bugs.

It's just common sense really. My children's pediatrician had a separate section for the sick children to sit from the well ones during office visits. Simple common courtesy and sensible rules.

I don't know if this will help when you need to go to the Dr. for a prescription refill right now.

I was not sick and only needed to refill a blood pressure medication. They would not do it over the phone as it had been 6 months since I was last in the office. This is what happened.

Me: Called office asking if they would refill over the phone.
Office: No. You have to come in. It has been 6 months.

Me: Are there are lot of sick people in the waiting room right now due to the flu?
Office: Yes

Me: What option do I have to avoid the waiting room? I do not want to get sick when all I need is to get a prescription refilled.
Office: Come in at 11:45 and sign in. Go home or get a lunch and come back at 1:00 and I will make sure you are the first one in.

Me: (At 1 PM I only had to wait for 3 minutes. After seeing the Dr, the nurse came in to take blood samples)
Me: I tried to avoid the waiting room. There are tons of sick people in there.
Nurse: Yes, I have had many patients come back the next week, like you, who only needed a prescription filled and got sick here waiting to come in.

Try to avoid waiting rooms. This may be an option for those who are not sick.

Added: Carry your own pen. Do not use anyone else's pen.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2018 12:46PM by Eric K.

I do that, too. And don’t take one of them home from the basket on the counter. Same thing for banks, insurance offices, etc.

I work in the medical field. I am exposed to HUNDREDS of ill people daily.

I have been exposed to positive cases of the flu. I had my flu shot, take precautions at work, etc. People ask me all the time how I don't get sick. Being exposed also builds your immunity and I take every step to keep my immunity as strong as possible.

Being exposed is NOT a guarantee that your loved one will contract illness or be a carrier.

I am so sorry you have someone with a compromised immune system, but there are a few other things to keep in mind to prevent transmission.

Consider that your loved one in your home with compromised immunity wear a mask with an N95 quality rating when exposed to other family members that have ventured outside.

(If they are not already on some sort of respirator/filter for breathing issues) Not a simple fabric looking mask that hooks over the ears. (That one is for someone with an active cough and to prevent THEIR droplets from becoming airborne)

Have your own "dirty room" that your loved one never enters. This can be where everyone takes off their shoes, changes, dumps off their laundry, etc. Hospitals use this technique to prevent cross contamination.

When I come home after patient care, I take off my uniform immediately and place in the wash (I wash my uniforms separately from other street clothes as well), store my shoes separately from others, etc. I wrap myself up in a clean towel and go shower.

Read everything you can about booting immunity. The three easiest things you can do are be well rested, well hydrated, and hygienic. (Washing hands like a religion before anything touches your face, eating, before and after using the bathroom, etc.)

Anxiety, Ie "stressing out" is a huge immunity buster. Worrying will reduce your ability to fight off illness.

Keep in mind that colds are common and unless all your family lives in a gigantic bubble with a HEPA filter and goes outside in a HAZMAT suit, you are being exposed to germs daily. Understand that you can not prevent exposure to everything. You do not have control over this.

Understand that people can be carriers of contagious viruses and show NO symptoms. For those of you avoiding people who have the sniffles (people can have allergies and sinus infections without being contagious to the public)

Focus on what you DO have control over. Yourself. Your home and your personal well being.

Having cared for someone who had NO immunity due to chemotherapy treatments, I understand how upsetting this kind of exposure can be. I lost a dear friend who was a Mother figure for me. She survived cancer/chemo twice, she survived a stroke, two botched surgeries, and a heart attack. Once she recovered from those illnesses, she treated herself to a trip. She came back well, but later developed a cold that became more serious.

(Many had warned her about not traveling after her last health crisis, because her immunity may not have been that strong) She stated that she spent three years in a row in endless hospitals and Doctor's offices. She was tired of feeling like a prisoner in her own life.

Sadly her illness became more serious and we lost her. I do feel like an important part of my life is gone, but I will always remember one of her wise talks to me...to live life cautiously, but not in fear. Embrace joy and experiences.

(She did this at the cost of her own health, not at the cost of others health)

Do not waste YOUR life in fear. Take precautions and do what you have in your control. Appreciate each day you have, in joy, with your loved one...because someday we all have to say goodbye.

RMM

I work in commercial kitchens and we are obsessive about cleanliness. Our location manager is conscientious and is adamant about fever/vomiting/diarrhea going home immediately if for no other reason than to not lose his entire staff from contagion. It's a nightmare for your coworkers if you don't come in, especially if you have a specific and specialized position so you hate to leave them in the lurch but everyone tries to pull together. But there's always people who think they are too important or can't afford to go home and they think it's just a cough. Kitchens are moist 85 degree environments so the air can be a breeding ground for germs. We just had a 3 week semester break which is what it took for everything to die off. I go overboard this time of year. I forget about food costs and daily will throw out untouched dinner rolls because they have been sitting out but it is standard practice at all institutional food service to wrap them and set tgem back out for the next m

Meal. Sorry. Hit post by accident.
So. If it is late in the evening don't touch the rolls! Be careful about desserts that have been sitting out. Very important...use a paper napkin to pick up salt and pepper or condiment bottles.
It's best to not eat at any fast food or minimum wage restaurants especially chain restaurants because corporate isn't happy enough with minimum wage. They cut labor hours to the point it is impossible for the workers to maintain food safety standards. I was briefly employed by Sonics owned by 2 different corporations. I was the only worker at a station designed for 3. There was not a runner so every single time I had to go in a refrigerator there was possible contamination from the door handle just as one example. I was going through about a box of 100 food service gloves per shift and was finally told by upper management that I was being wasteful so the gloves were locked up and I was issued 6 single gloves per shift. At Sonic,even out of flu season, it is routine for the cook to lay out raw bacon and then make a sandwich with the same pair of gloves.

TSCC is one of the worst offenders, since if you decide to do the nice thing and stay home when sick with the cold or flu, they send the HT's or VT's to spy on you and report back to the bishop. Because of that, people go to church despite being sick so they avoid being the subject of ward gossip, or to show how self-righteous they are.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2018 01:13AM by adoylelb.

A few comments.

1. Can your loved one tolerate the flu shot? If so, he or she should have had it by now. I have Stage 4 breast cancer with lung metastasis (having progressed the last 5 years from a very early Stage 1A diagnosis following mastectomy, but that’s a whole other story). Anyway, influenza would be very bad for me. I was told to get the flu shot and did so. I hope it is helping. I cannot tolerate most vaccines at this point, but the flu shot is not a live vaccine so I can have it. My red blood count was so low in November due to cancer treatment, I had to have 2 pints of blood by transfusion. Still, getting the flu shot was recomnended. Consult with your loved one’s doctor. Of course, it’s no guarantee, but could help.

2. Vomiting adults usually do not have flu but rather norovirus(aka stomach flu). It is not influenza but is a highly contagious stomach virus. It, too, can lay a person really low, especially a person with compromised health. The flu shot won’t help for this since it’s not flu.

3. With chemo, my immune system was very compromised. I wore a face mask at all times whenever I was out in public. I was told that I should avoid uncooked food as that is a prime source of infection unless I wash it extremely well. In fact, there was just another e-coli outbreak from packaged lettuce/spinach a couple of weeks ago.

In sum, speak with your loved one’s doctor regarding the flu shot. Beyond that, avoid eating out, give your loved one little or no raw foods unless they are very carefully peeled or washed by you, have your loved one wear a mask even at home and do not let him/her go out until flu/norovirus season subsides, use sanitizers like Clorax counter sanitizer liberally, and do constant hand washing. No guarantees of course but could help.

I wish you and your loved one the best.

I have had both norovirus and influenza. Last time I had the flu, I did vomit a few times, but it wasn't the constant vomiting one gets from norovirus. With norovirus, you're throwing up repeatedly and have diarrhea, but it's usually over within a couple of days. With flu, it's not a main symptom, but it can happen. When I've had flu, I've just felt like warmed over crap and had fever, weakness, body aches, and severe fatigue. Some of the vomiting also came from coughing so hard that I puked. Last time I had the flu, it took a solid two weeks to get better and that was having been healthy beforehand. I can't even imagine what it does to someone who's already ill.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2018 06:25AM by knotheadusc.

If you'd like to private message me to talk about what you're going through, it's alright with me if we exchange e-mails through admin. Let me know if you'd like that.

I'm going through breast cancer treatment now myself, and each day has been touch and go with no guarantees as to the outcome.

XOXO ((((hugs))))

My inactive brother was able to convince my Dad to stay home during this flu epidemic (to skip sacrament meeting).

Dad is 99.

A couple of years ago he had the flu virus type B....not covered by the flu shot & almost died.

Last year he had bronchitis & pneumonia but survived......barely.

So staying home for a few Sundays is the best choice.

It's especially helpful to convince him when the headlines in the local newspaper are showing the ERs full etc.

Please stay home when you're sick.
And wash your hands often.....

Tutu



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2018 09:05AM by tutu.

3 weeks after initial infection and I finally feel all clear, my husband and kids were over it within a week.

Please think of others when viruses are doing the rounds - I've never been scared of sick people before but panicked the other day when a visitor sneezed and almost threw them out my house there and then (allergy sneeze). I apologised when I calmed down and realised it was not illness that caused the sneeze.

Those of you looking after sick relatives - stay vigilant, it's worth it, you're doing a great job.

Thank you, everyone, for your posts. It feels good to be understood and to see others advocating for the idea that it's important to consider others and stay home when sick even if it seems like too much trouble. Thank you for all the tips that might collectively help better our odds of missing this bullet. I must admit that the stories of loved ones dying freaked me out even more in a way, but I am so very sorry to those of you who have suffered such terrible losses and are still suffering either due to loss or your own illness.....and sometimes it helps to get a little perspective by hearing that there are things, even in this situation that seems intolerable to me right now, that could be worse. At least my loved one seems to fight non-respiratory infections much like any typical person does....not fun, occasionally still quite scary, but usually self-limited and eventually cleared without a whole lot of intervention required, and that's something for me to be thankful about. It's all the respiratory illnesses attacking his compromised lungs that unleash absolute hell on our family.

is this another of those anti-vaxxer threads ?