Posted by:
anybody
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Date: February 07, 2018 07:35AM
https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/02/josh-and-lolly-weeds-account-of-why-their-mixed-orientation-marriage-failed-is-remarkable.html"On their 10th wedding anniversary in 2012, Josh and Lolly Weed were ready to make a big announcement: Josh was gay, and they had both entered into their marriage knowing it. Devout Mormons, the couple believed the church’s doctrine that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that “family is central to the Creator’s plan” for believers. Josh had come out to his parents at age 13, and to his friend Lolly a few years later, but the couple decided to start dating and later to marry, eyes wide open. The post went viral, and the couple appeared on Nightline, talking about their shared faith, their “great” sex life, and their love for their three daughters.
The Weeds recently made another big announcement on their blog: They’re divorcing. In a remarkable 11,000-word post, the couple confessed that the arrangement wasn’t working. “Our marriage was absolutely beautiful,” Josh wrote, “Yet it contained an undercurrent of pain that we were not able to see clearly or acknowledge for many years, which made continuing in it impossible."
"We told ourselves that our love was similar to that of an elderly couple after infatuation and physical attraction had died away and what remained was a tender bond of love. That was the framework we used to understand our relationship. Using that framework, I was willing to sacrifice that sexual component because Josh was worth it to me.
However, as the years went by, and the holes in our souls grew larger and larger, we realized that our relationship was not like an elderly couple because, although the elderly couple’s sexual relationship had dimmed, their romantic adoration for one another did not. … We realized the thing that so many people had tried to tell us: that we didn’t have romantic attachment. That romantic attachment was essential to a functioning marriage. And that it was something that we never had and, hauntingly, that we never would."
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2018 07:46AM by anybody.