Ahhh man. The day finally came guys. I could only avoid meeting the SP for so long. I thought I was going to get out of it when he started asking questions about us and found out we were moving in May for med school and looked surprised. He said something along the lines of "oh, I'm not sure your Bishop knew that you were leaving so soon. I will run this by him first to double check."

Sure enough the Bishop was indeed "inspired" to make the call regardless of our timeline. I also tried telling him I was short on time for med school (which is kind of a lie, this is the easiest semester I've had in undergrad) to which he replied that I would be able to balance it with the Lord's help.

Well, with March starting this week, only two more months till graduation and I can quit playing along.

Anyways, there's the update. Wish me luck in my glorious new calling haha

What else could the bishop say? "Oh, he's moving. I didn't know that! If I had (of), I wouldn't have called him to a serious position that he'd only be in for two months. Kind of makes me look the fool."

Nope. "Well, SP, I feel inspired to give him this position even if it's only for two months!"

I'm undecided if you want us to congratulate you, or offer you condolences?

Lol both please Amyjo?

Brethren. Your calling is inspired of the Lord. You should not mock your priesthood leaders. . . . . . .

I'm sorry I can't even say that shit without laughing anymore!!!

The end of the tunnel is close at hand, MB.

I am happy for you. It wasn’t an inquisition about your testimony. Now you can just relax, keep your head down and count the days.

Nevermojohn,

Seriously, that was what I was most worried about. He didn't ask me at all about where I'm at spiritually.

WOW!!

Return and report

So send us stats like attendance, recommend holders, tithe payers etc.

We want insights to ward councils too!

Have fun with it.

Maybe you can even get your hands on some docs for MormonLeaks!

Both are excellent ideas. Other ideas on what kind of documents? I have no clue what I'll have access to and what I won't see.

tithing, how much is collected, how much is sent to LDS, Inc and how much is made available to ward/stake. What level of participation is there from an attendence and tithing perspective (people paying regularly and guesstimating how many are "full tithe payers).

Share with us info like the poor struggling family with 8 kids. Mom sick (probably from birthing every year for 8 years).Dad works 2 jobs
just to put food on the table. Old car wore out and held together with duct tape and super glue and has bald tires. Tell how they cannot pay a full tithing each month and the Bishop calls the poor Elder in his office and chastises him because “ he cannot not afford to NOT pay a full and honest tithe.” How dare him buy groceries, medicine for the sick wife and pay utilities before he paid his tithing! The future of the free world depends on it.

Sorry you got stuck with what sounds like a time consuming and tedious calling. Glad there was no talk of apostasy and sanctions from BYU. Whew! Happy you will walk out of Provo with your diploma in hand and your degree nailed down. Best wishes with med school.

Word of warning, and this has nothing to do with your religious life. If your marriage is important to you, watch out for the pitfalls of not spending enough time together. Knowing that your wife may be going to law school in awhile while you are in med school could mean two separate lives taking divergent paths. Sounds like your wife might be a paralegal or something similar since you said she has a great job waiting.

I say this because I've worked in finance and I've seen some talented and ambitious couples go on with some high powered careers while their marriages and families crashed and burned. These were not Mormon families I'm talking about. But when you throw in a TBM wife who may seek advice and comfort outside your marriage when she feels neglected or lonely (I don't mean other men, just others) it can form a wedge. I truly hope you can take your wife out of TSCC with you. That would be a huge advantage but it doesn't guarantee smooth sailing forever. Make sure your priorities are grounded and the same. Talk A LOT about EVERYTHING together often and don't get too caught up in your careers. There is life outside school and work. Cheers and good luck!

Thanks pooped great advice

U DIDN'T tell them about your porno & M habits "addictions"?

Two months? Meh... that's nothing just stick it out then you can move on.

Updates are appreciated, my friend. I love these stories, so don't hold back on my account.

Buff

In elementary school you learned the three R’s. In med School it is the three P’s- pathology, physiology and pharmacology then they throw in smith P- physical diagnosis. If you are able to sit in on a physiology class to rev up your mind and just listen it might help.

Next year you absolutely have to master lung mechanics, Frank-Starling curve, cardiac cycle, alpha and beta adrenergic systems and the remarkable black box of renal physiology. Just listening to that language- and going to med school is much like learning another language- it may give you a jump start.

I was a ward clerk once...got me out of a lot classes.

Gatorman

I was a great Ward Clerk. When I counted the Sacrament attendance I always added a little extra onto the real number so we could boost our ward budget a little.

That centralized funding was total joke. How to destroy the fun ward and stake activities with a single policy change.

If you do a lousy job (hey, it's volunteer work, and they don't really train you for it, and you're busy with school), you might not even last 2-3 months.

Just an idea...

Oh, and I'm glad it was just a calling, and not some "we know you're just faking it!" callout. Whew :)

Dump everything on the assistants under the guise of training them in view of your rapid departure.

Makes me wonder just how badly the ward finances and records could get screwed up in such a short period of time? Haha. Of course, you wouldn't.

That would not be a good thing. You may hate the organization but bear in mind:

* Some poor people receieve help from a.ward, and ir would be unfair to them.
* You'll screw tbings up for the rank n file not the higher ups.

It was just a joke of course. However, I guess it would be an opportunity to help the ones who need help even more? Kidding again. Never been a ward clerk and don't even really know what they do. I thought they just counted attendance.

You are hereby henceforth appointed as Ad-Hoc Junior Assistant Associate Substitute Interim Ward Auxiliary Clerical Pseudoplenipotentiary, 2nd Class.

Now, go forthwith and serve!

The bishop didn't even know you were a senior and leaving? Truly inspired!

Don't know anything about ward clerk, but maybe you can use it as an excuse to dodge some boring meetings?

Pinches buffaloes cheeks...pats him on the bum and sends him off to his first big day in his new calling...you lucky bugger...head down and ass up buddy...don't take wooden nickels ...just reading gator mans summary makes me wanna head off to med school...sort of..just fascinating stuff...kind of did the same thing but animal related...not quite as big a deal if you lose a patient now and then...make your momma proud haha...and saucie and EOD too...your real parents...sorry to break it to ya like this

Have you ever seen the video of the pro football player who has just 10 yards to go for a touchdown and holds the ball up over his head and starts his victory dance prematurely only to have the ball knocked out of his hand just short of the end zone.Look it up on YouTube and remind yourself that it ain’t over till it’s over. This board exposes you to thousands of eyes with big mouths. Just sayin.

On a bright note, this should get you out of a fair number of your meetings.

Enjoy your last two months in Mormonism! Thank-you for the update. And good luck.

Ward Clerk has access to DATA. Start documenting the data for your ward:
1- Weekly attendance,
2- Tithing per month,
3- Resignations per month/year. etc.

It would be very interesting to get a valid sample.

HH =)

Can you look up stats for the history of the ward? Would love to see some resignation numbers going back in time for your ward.

What else will you have access to? Can you go into the records of other wards? Might be fun to see if people you know have already resigned and you don't know it yet.

I've never known just how much data they keep on individuals. Do they keep track of what's been said about you in meetings and such? I think I might quite enjoy that job for about two months, but no longer.

OOOOH! Please return and report. And don't forget to let us know when you are officially out and your wife sees the light. She sounds bright so I'm expecting it won't take her too long.

He's in a student ward, so all his stats are way different than in a human ward...

Ward clerk was my last calling before leaving. I had to call people to give them their sacrament assignments. Very few people would answer their phone, and even fewer would call back to confirm. That is when the light went on and I realized that I was not a responsibility dodging person... and therefore I was in the wrong place (the TSCC).
Any ward clerk with a brain will see the reality and leave for good.
If your wife could be ward clerk, I guarantee that she would be ready to leave too.

In the ward I was in, the executive secretary was the one that had to call people. He complained that there were very few people that were willing to give talks, and since getting the calling, people wouldn't answer when they saw his name on caller ID.

I guess I got those positions mixed up. I probably was the executive secretary.

Ha! I bet you would have gotten the signs and tokens screwed up and never made it past the guardian angels!

Good thing you got out!!

We Outerdarknessbounds feel honored. ;-)

Don't post ANY specifics (or even semi-specifics) until you're out for good, for your own protection.