Done & Done
Date: February 26, 2018 07:36PM
Healthy response. Shunning. If you are allergic to peanuts, you just don't eat them and stay away from even products made on the same equipment.
I can commiserate with you. I avoid family but do the duty visits with elderly parents. Beyond that, there is nothing there. Our relationship is empty and boring. I am allergic to small minded, arrogant/ignorant behavior and thinking, so I have no choice but to shun.
Mine know better than to let me see what they really think of me, though I know. I do what I can for my elderly parents, but it feels so good to be away from Mormons. They are such a heavy lift and I am too tired to even try anymore. Job interviews are more fun and less intrusive.
I don't expect to see my family at all once my parents are gone. Oddly, that is a nice feeling. Very freeing.
Date: February 27, 2018 04:36AM
Some years back after my husband had passed, my TBM son was helping prepare the swamp cooler for winter, something I asked him to do after he had offered his assistance. Talking afterwards, this person said, knowing full well I chose not to be active at all in the Mormon Church, "It might be nice if you had ward friends to help you out."
Bare in mind, I did not ask for help from him frequently or easily.
I had other incidents which made me feel that by my own choice of cutting out help and friendship from ward members, I had created an unneeded burden on my children who lived farther away.
Also, I have frequently been made to feel sinful, prideful, and lazy for being an exmo. The TBMs in my life are extremely busy time-wise being Mormon, very narrow and close-minded in their view of the world, so judgmental, plus so arrogant, making what we have in common very, very small.
I agree with Done and Done's statement that "....there is nothing there. Our relationship is empty and boring."
I shared my views through letter with the TBMs in my life when I first left Mormonism.
No response. No dialogue.
And both of these equal no relationship in my view. Shunning? Probably.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/27/2018 04:46AM by presleynfactsrock.