I left Mormonism (resigned) about 13 years ago. Recently, I've been thinking of returning to the fold. I wonder why7 I know it is deeply flawed, but I feel drawn back to it.

Do you ever think about going back?

Has anyone ever researched this situation?

Kind regards



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/08/2018 03:26PM by mcthistle.

I thought about it a few times the first year after leaving.
Always deciding that I just couldn't pretend to believe that garbage, so I couldn't go back.

In the 37 or so years since then...not once.

It sounds like you're lonely. You miss the (supposed) "friendships." The social aspect. Am I right?

Keep in mind that most of that is fake. Conditional, painted-on-their-face "friendship," that only is offered (and always superficially) as long as you toe the belief/behavior line. Make one step out of line, and it's all gone. Sure, there is the occasional real friend...but they're few and far between.

Don't go back. You're better than that :)

I actually thought about it just in the past few months. It didn't last very long. I can't remember why I would think that. It may have been that one of my mormon friends was sick and dying. She died last week.

It has been years since I thought of going back until that day.

I was never happy as a mormon. My ex was the one who pointed that out to me. I am not a social person and mormonism was forced friendships. I have never missed the social part of mormonism. I went to worship and not to socialize.

No, I couldn’t get through the three-hour block then, and I definitely can’t now. Too much being fake, modest, and turning a blind eye to the crap Joseph Smith pulled for my taste.

I prefer having Sunday to myself, wearing tank tops and shorts when I want, and living life on my terms.

Oh yah, and it ALWAYS make me SICK just to think about it.

There were a few kind people in the church when I was a lad, but they have since passed on. Now knowing of the church's lies and deceit, it's impossible to go back. I couldn't attend even if it's only for sentimental or some kind of nostalgic effect.

messygoop Wrote:
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> There were a few kind people in the church when I
> was a lad, but they have since passed on. Now
> knowing of the church's lies and deceit, it's
> impossible to go back. I couldn't attend even if
> it's only for sentimental or some kind of
> nostalgic effect.

I tried returning after some years out following my parents deaths in 2000, out of nostalgia for my childhood and 'yesteryear.' It had disastrous consequences both for my children and myself, *and as a family*.

Never again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2018 10:03AM by Amyjo.

I returned, was rebaptized, etc. The main problem is that those in power cannot leave my past behind. I was rebaptized in the same ward that I was exed from.

If I leave again, it will be due to this. Eventually, we will be given a new bishop. Right now, I am putting up with the situation. I will reassess it in a few months.

Yes Wrote:
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> I returned, was rebaptized, etc. The main problem
> is that those in power cannot leave my past
> behind. I was rebaptized in the same ward that I
> was exed from.
>
> If I leave again, it will be due to this.
> Eventually, we will be given a new bishop. Right
> now, I am putting up with the situation. I will
> reassess it in a few months.

"Yes", can I ask why you returned? Do you have what Mormons call a testimony etc? I'm not asking to be snarky, truly am curious as to your personal spiritual journey.

TIA

Cheryl Wrote:
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> n/t

I am still scared of mormons and mormonism and i am not even in it or around them anymore. Anybody willing to do death oaths and still stay in it all, scares me. They are like manchurian candidates robots to me or something like that, less sane then i am imo.

Never never never. I never fit into the culture partly because I'm an introvert. If I had fit in, and felt like I had support and friends there, I could see the lure of going back, but can't think of one other reason someone would want to.

jane Wrote:
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> Never never never. I never fit into the culture
> partly because I'm an introvert. If I had fit in,
> and felt like I had support and friends there, I
> could see the lure of going back, but can't think
> of one other reason someone would want to.

It is a false support, especially for the lonewolf introvert. They will walk on you way before they support you and will leave hanging out to dry.

I thought about it to battle loneliness but i find i am less lonely when playing cards because the people i play cards with are actually more real and authentic. The church or cult is a master of brainwashing and mind control even after you resign you still are not really mentally free totally. It's like a sick plague that never lets go. And i remember also my chances of being locked up and/or committing suicide are way higher in the religion. And i think i want to live, still not sure how to live for real yet besides the mormon programming of a prescripted life. That cult will f#ck you up faster than anything on this planet.

And i think god said, 'thou shalt not be a part of a cult', in the bible, and i take that somewhat seriously. No secret combinations saith the lord.

No, there is no reason for me to think about "going back". Im a "go forward" woman.

That is beautiful! I will use it if asked about returning!

Oh sure, about as often as I yearn for a good case of small pox

or leprosy. Like that much.

saucie (nli) Wrote:
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> Oh sure, about as often as I yearn for a good case
> of small pox
>
> or leprosy. Like that much.

Hahahaha or putting your head in an oven.

Exactly !!!!!

That was hilarious.

Only to pick up my refund.

kathleen Wrote:
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> Only to pick up my refund.

I got about 2300 back. I would be d@mned if i got zero back.

Yes, but too many hoops to jump through. They'd be disappointed when I didn't give them 10% and never went back to the temple. And would I ever want to be subjected to a worthiness interview again? Heck no! My family would be relieved if I went back, but they can just dead dunk me. Cheaper than re-upping for something that is verifiably false.

To experience what? A "Flashback" of all the insidious
beliefs and programs? What about the OLDER folks who
will never leave and you just know they are going to HELL.

Oh I forgot...they dont believe in HELL. People say they
are GOOD people but thats only your perception. They are
downright evil actually but if you are convinced they are
Christian then you will always forgive and ignore things.

P: No.

The only thing that disturbs me about leaving is when I see photos inside a church building. I don't have any nostalgia for the Sunday block of meetings but I have good memories of other activities that took place inside the building. Much like if I were to see a photo inside one of my schools or universities that I attended over the years. There is nothing wrong with feeling nostalgia for the good experiences in life.

As for all of the bullshit related to believing in LDS theology, it will never be a part of me again. I'm not even tempted and haven't considered it once. But I don't need religion. I know many people who are better off inside a religion than being on their own. Go for it, if this is what you are needing. The trade-off is a huge price to pay, however.

Oh god no. Hell no. No f’ing way. Not in a million years.

In other words, no.

There is a list with thousands of things on it that I would add to my life if I felt it was lacking. Mormonism is not on the list, not even as the very last item, and, never will be.

I try very hard not to engage in any organization that hurts others even if it would work for me. So, not even considering Mormonism again is a no brainer.

"Deeply flawed" is an understatement. "Abject fraud" is far more accurate. Returning to a fraudulent cult is not an option, as I'd have to surrender all my integrity and self-respect to do so.

If you left in 2005, know that the church experience has become worse than you remember. More correlated, more boring, more oppressive, more controlling, drearier, bleaker, on and on. It's a joyless lifesuck of a shit-show week after week, vapid and inane.

With people continuing to leave the cult, the ones remaining are pushed ever harder to fill the gaps. By all means, engage your inner masochist if you choose. You'll quickly rediscover why you left in the first place.

McThistle,

Why do you feel drawn back? Do you know?

no.Nothing to go back for. Never even considered going back . Never crossed my mind for even a nanosecond

I sometimes miss the church as I knew it in my teen years, where the first Mormons I met in the ward where I converted were friendly and helpful. Plus the church wasn't yet tightly correlated like it is now. Now that I have deeply researched and studied the true history, how could I go back and hand over my 10% ? They would pressure me about the temple. I don't want to wear garments! I can't covenant to give my all to a church that I know is fake.

My first few years in Mormonism were spent in innocence. But that blissful ignorance can never return now. When you know too much, things can never return to their original dimensions.

For loneliness, I tried visiting other churches. It worked for me, but I haven't joined any of them.

NOT.FOR.A.MILLISECOND!

Absolutely not. Once I actually made the decision to leave for good, I never looked back.

For the first little while, I missed my friends. But when I had the opportunity to meet with them again at a friend's mom's funeral, I realized that I no longer fit in with them anymore.

I still see them occasionally, usually at a another funeral, or maybe someone's birthday. It's always good to see them. But socializing more with them would never work out well.

I view Mormons as good people who are incapable of exploring the world from a broader perspective because they are trapped in a narrow cult view of reality. I find some in leadership to be rather judgemental in the same way a bad cop lets the badge go to his head. I don't think like them anymore or share their beliefs so, "NO" I have no interest in going back.

I would go back if they called on me to teach a little course in church history though.

I view Mormons the same way. I used to be like them after all. I can be around them but in very small doses.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/10/2018 03:47PM by abby.

There were some good things. When we were in the military moving around, it was instant social group.

And I like the general lifestyle. Still not a fan of drinking, smoking, profanity, etc.

If they could just cut out the religion, and assigned callings, and tithing, and temple, and home teaching, and missionary work, and most meetings, I would go back.

I need to start an un-church, but few would be interested. Have to have a magic something to believe in.

Hell no!

That is all.

-Dennis

Absolutely not.

Long answer: Hell no.

Short answer: Hell no.

Only time I've been back since resigning was for a relative's funeral. As if that wasn't morbid enough, the funeral potatoes and the formaldehyde made it worse by their presence. (And the cold, overcooked ham.) The funeral home went tipsy on the embalming fluid. The entire chapel reeked of it from the moment my cousin's body was brought in from the mortuary.

My lungs became full of that stuff. It didn't leave until several hours later, driving away from that place, and a speeding ticket to get as far away and as fast as I could with the windows down in sub-freezing temperatures.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2018 12:50PM by Amyjo.

At times late at night I think the closeness I felt spiritually was strictly available in an LDS church. The longer I live the more I realize that was faulty thinking. Have met some very spiritual people, felt tangible goodness in their company. None were nor will ever be LDS.

So to answer your question- I think about it less and less. Depending on your religious needs I would think exploring diverse offerings would be a very good start....

Gatorman

Heeeeeeeeell to the no! I thought I was going to have to knaw a leg off to finally get out of that place to begin with.

Hell no. I have family members that are convinced that many do come back right before they die. I'm going to disappoint them.

mcthistle, what is it exactly about the church that is drawing you back?

I don't think of returning. I'm sure that if I return to my old ward, I be welcomed with open arms, but I would have to put my concerns that disturbances regarding the church to the side.
I'd have to pretend that that I believe in the church after knowing the truth behind it, and knowing that it's just another church. I'd have to pretend that I believe in Joseph Smith, as put aside that he was a philanderer that married fourteen year old girls when he was nearing his forties.
I'd probably be forced to accept callings as a means for the ward leadership to keep be busy. They tried pulling that stunt on me while I was on my way out, as a means of keeping me from leaving.
I'd have to deal with disingenuous, fake and superficial friendships in the church. I'd have to spend three hours with a fake smile plastered across my face because that's how I have to exist because the "gospel is true and is supposed to make you happy." I'll have to put any emotions to the side and be one-dimensional.
I'd have to wear those seriously uncomfortable garments again. And give 10% of my income, KNOWING that it pays the GA's rent, pays for LDS's high-end mall, and their high-end skyscraper.
I'd have to ignore the church's racist history, and sit trough hours of general conference where the leaders praise Brigham Young. I'd have to turn a blind eye to the racism that I know that I will have to once again put up with as a minority. I do deal with racism from time to time from society, but the most amount of racism that I had to deal with was dealt with in that church. And I lived in the Baltimore area!

No I do not think about going back, nor would I ever want to.
I'm happy living life on my time, on my own terms. I'm happy to think for myself instead of having leaders that lived off my tithing money do the thinking for me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2018 10:07AM by severedpuppetstrings.

I almost started coming back to the church for my husband’s sake.
I left it years ago, but only on grounds of hating to be asked if I’d mind giving the prayer or a talk on a given date. Being overly shy in front of people, I’d keep saying no. Finally I started feeling bad and just stopped going. My husband came up to me after he retired and wanted to know why we weren’t going to a church. He was serious, which was scary. So, I said if that happens, it’ll have to be the LDS, which he got excited and had no problem with. He even said I seemed happier when I was attending . I was just afraid of being asked to talk or pray all over again and I wanted to talk to someone in the church on line, but I knew it’d just be “ sure come back over, we’d love to have you,”, telling me that they wouldn’t call on me, which I know was a lie.
So, I wouldn’t trust Mormon.org, or any other LDS site.
I found this one, and with the Internet out now and their telling me the truth here, I knew all of that stuff about JS that I doubted for so long was true , made sense, and I found out so much things on this site, that there was no way I was going back and Mr Hubby could go by himself, which he never did if course.
He read the stuff too and thought I was crazy for attending so long.
I told him that of course not,they’re not going to say what a scumbag , lying creep JS and crew were.
So,finding this site , then reading the Internet on my new I phone, told me all that I needed to know, so no, I never even think of coming back now,I don’t see how no one can, especially growing up in it.
I missed learning about about some of the deep believes.