Posted by:
RPackham
(
)
Date: March 17, 2018 02:37PM
Today's Dear Abby had a non-Mormon high school girl asking why the nice Mormon boy who took her to a dance never followed up. She wonders if it could be that he is Mormon? Abby consulted Dr. Allen Bergin, her "Mormon Contact", who said that the boy is just "shy."
https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2018/3/17/2/girl-is-puzzled-by-boys-silenceI could not resist the urge to respond:
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I'm afraid I have to disagree strongly with your response to "Don't Know In Texas" (March 17, 2018), the Jewish girl who asked whether the Mormon boy who took her to a dance, followed by "nothing." She suspected that he did not pursue a relationship because he is Mormon. You consulted Dr. Allen Bergin, who assured her that it was probably just that the boy is "shy."
Bergin is a prominent Mormon, and is probably biased, not wanting to say anything that would reflect badly on his church and his people.
May I give you a different view? I grew up as Mormon, most of my family are Mormons, and I know many Mormons and former Mormons. Although there is no hard "rule" against young Mormons dating non-Mormons, it is certainly a widespread practice among Mormon parents to discourage their children from getting romantically involved with non-Mormons ("Gentiles" in Mormon parlance). The basis for this practice is the Mormon doctrine that the only people who are allowed into the highest level of heaven are those who are Mormon and married to a faithful Mormon spouse. This Mormon boy's parents are likely afraid that he might eventually want to marry "Don't Know". Unless she became a faithful Mormon, he would never make it into that highest heaven. If he should marry her, she would always be under tremendous pressure from his family to convert. She told you that she would not convert, but she clearly does not realize how much pressure she would get, especially after children arrived.
I know of hundreds of people who did that (as non-Mormon, fell in love with a Mormon, married, and converted) and later very much regretted it. Some of their comments are on my website at
http://packham.n4m.org/inlove.htm "In Love With A Mormon."
"Don't Know" is probably much better off by finding some nice non-Mormon boy to fall in love with.
In future, when you get such questions involving Mormonism, I would be happy to give you an opinion to counterbalance Dr. Bergin's pro-Mormon views..
Richard Packham
Founder and Past President of the Exmormon Foundation
http://www.exmormonfoundation.org