Been pushing and shoving with my sister for a period of almost thirty years. We never get along.
Lately I have started to understand that she does not want my type of validation anymore. It is like I am treating her the "wrong" way when I acknowledge her unconditionally as my sister. I can not help identifying with her. But since a few years back she does not sense that energy from me anymore and she just want me to validate here through what she does and perform in her professional life. She does not value the bond we have since we grew up.
It feels strange that she gets more angrier at me for not commenting her new car than she gets when I am ignoring her because she has been mean to me.
since she was only 17 months older than I am. My dad started apologizing to me in the last years of his life for the times they paid more attention to her than they did me because she demanded their attention all her life (and even in their deaths).
I tried my damndest to get along with her at my expense. I had to spend time with her at school or there was hell to pay and she was my very own personal bully all my life.
Then her husband did $2000 worth of damage to my bathroom, which was already damaged, but I had told her that he COULD NOT WORK ON IT, but she forced the issue no matter how many times I told her NO!!!!! Then I was the bad guy when he messed things up and I had to pay $2000 to fix it. I never would have told her, but I had no money as a single mother and so my parents got me a loan at their bank and I paid it off. You'd never know that though as she decided I owed them $5000 for fixing my bathrooms. HUH??
She finally pushed me too far and I have cut her off once again FOREVER. She stole my disabled brother's trust fund and we had to have the trust fund lawyer go after her. She never forgave me for that bathroom damage though. Get that, never forgave me.
I'm just done. I helped her raise her kids as they couldn't stand her. And now I don't see them anymore either.
Their loss--all of their loss. I don't have to deal with her. They do. And she has a hard time living without me. ha ha ha
As kids my older sister always thought she had the right to order me around. So whenever our mother left the home she would start giving me directives.
One beautiful summer day our mother went out for awhile and Sis started getting pretty pushy with orders to me to do all kinds of things she wanted done. When she went outside I locked all the doors to the house and went upstairs to my room.
When I thought it was about time to let her back in, I went downstairs to find she had gotten so angry she put her fist through the thermal pane window of the back door! Blood was everywhere so I followed her trail to the neighbors. They had taken her to the doctors to stitch her up.
I got a million of em.....
Fast forward to the present. Sis is bankrupt and physically/mentally a mess with enough prescriptions to keep her pharmacist in business for years. Her friends and kids have mostly deserted her so she wants to get chummy with me since I came home to care for our aging mother. If it didn't mean wishing for our mother's death, I'd be counting the hours until I could get out of this town.
My older sister dumped on me in order to appease our parents. She wanted to be Mormon again, and has temple plans, I think. My Father has a pattern of rewarding temple-worthy offspring, and I guess she wants some attention, at least. So she threw me away.