What planet was Elohim from?
Who gave Elohim Kolob?
Who assigned his wives to him?

Not me! I was busy creating a more hearty strain of tomatoe to grow on the desert.

"Such things aren't essential to your salvation."

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
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> "Such things aren't essential to your salvation."


Translation: "Stop asking awkward questions and just go back to being a good, compliant little Mormon"

My understanding is that it's an on-going process, gods from gods from other gods before them. So yes, it is not essential to your salvation. Yet I wonder if Elohim has to do the geneaology of the gods above, before, and beyond him? Also, once an exalted man achieves godhood, are there higher levels of godhood to further aspire to?

One thing I am seriously curious about: At what point would an Earth-originated exalted man be deemed ready, or worthy, for godhood in his own right ("rite"?) to depart Elohim's Celestial Kingdom, how is that determined, and by whom? And where does he go in the Cosmos?

caffiend Wrote:
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> One thing I am seriously curious about: At what
> point would an Earth-originated exalted man be
> deemed ready, or worthy, for godhood in his own
> right ("rite"?) to depart Elohim's Celestial
> Kingdom, how is that determined, and by whom? And
> where does he go in the Cosmos?

There's a guy "up there" who checks to make sure you know all the secret handshakes and gestures and passwords, and then checks to insure you have a celestial harem of wives to make spirit babies with. Then you're given the okey-dokey.

Where you go is essentially a lottery. Kinda like getting a mormon mission call. It's made out to be some kind of "inspired assignment" from Elohim, but in reality they just throw a celestial dart at a map of available solar systems in the cosmos, and you get a celestial letter -- signed by a celestial signature machine, of course, and not Elohim himself!

:)

It all came from a special place in JS's noggin. And thats where it ended.

I see the interest in 'mysteries' questions like this one as being for the purpose of laughing at the saints and their carelessly made up religion.

There isn't a sharper tool in the shed than my buddy the old dog! :)

Elohim Elohim

Before was...

Elohim Elohim Elohim

Before was...

Elohim Elohim Elohim Elohim

Before was...

Silly, but are we having fun yet?

Well, remember..."Elohim" IS plural, not singular.

In reality, it's a plural that describes the "retinue" of god-things begat by/surrounding the Canaanite polytheistic top-diety-guy El.

In mormonism...it's Elohims all the way down!*








* apologies to the turtles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down

who rules the Earth, and this Elohim was a mortal being from some other planet which had its own version of Mormonism, was deified, given the planet Kolob and many wives, created the Earth and populated the Earth with his biological offspring....



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2018 05:44PM by anybody.

So Elohim is like Marklar. It's everyones name up there?

Elohim begat Elohim who begat Elohim who begat, , ,

And if you go back far enough it all started with the Big Boink Theory.

Those are questions no one was able to answer when I asked Mormon missionaries that. My ex-mo and closeted apostate friends can't even give me an answer.

"I have a G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-(etc.)-grandmother in Heaven, whose cupcake was licked by a ghawd, but the question remains, where did SHE come from?"
-- Ms. Freestone Peach, Jr.

Can't say I've met her but she's probably a cousin of some sort - my mother's maiden name was Peach, a family originally from Stone in Staffordshire.

>What planet was Elohim from?

There has never been any information on that. As far as I'm aware, it hasn't even been speculated on.


>Who gave Elohim Kolob?

His own Heavenly Father. That's our God's dad. I suppose that would make him a sort of Heavenly Grandfather.



>Who assigned his wives to him?

What we were always told was that his wives were women he met during his own phase of mortality on his equivalent of our Earth.


It's a never-ending process, supposedly stretching back through infinity, a concept which makes no sense in itself.

And his "forever family" of children are now scattered across the universe doing their own God business. At least the children who learned the secret handshakes and passwords are. Not exactly the home evening version of together forever.

Which is just one reason why it all makes no sense whatsoever.