Posted by:
Mother Who Knows
(
)
Date: May 27, 2018 03:31AM
Congratulations on your new baby!
I remember you.
My husband and I met at BYU. We had been married about 6 years, when he found out that the cult was a fraud, and he told me, immediately, and shared with me, "No Man Knows My History," and some Mormon writings that were damning. I was very TBM, and I refused to believe anything he told me. We reached an agreement that church would not interfere in our marriage.
My husband couldn't go along and pretend to be a Mormon. He had too much integrity to be fake. The Mormons demanded too much of him, for him to "fly under the radar," and his TBM high priest father and Bishopric brother and RS president mother were in our ward. He stopped paying tithing, because he didn't want to pay good money to a fraudulent cult, to support it and perpetuate the lies. He felt he had already given too much to that scam, already. I understood, and paid tithing only for my own income.
The reality was, that my husband was "inactive" and a "non-believer," and everyone knew it. He still believed in God, but that made no difference to the Mormons we knew. We were no longer included in our TBM couple "friends' social activities, even outside of church. I was disrespected and even BLAMED for my husband leaving the cult. I experienced the nasty underbelly of Mormonism, because my husband was not there to smooth things out for me, so I could "fake it." He was not there to protect me and our children from Mormon abuse. After a year, I began studying for myself, and after 18 months, I left, along with our children.
My husband was patient, and offered us MORE to life than just church. We had fun family outings on the weekends, little league, soccer, vacations and weekend trips, etc, and became too busy to feel that there was any kind of "void" where Mormonism had once been. We still believe in God and Christ, and sometimes attend the Lutheran and Methodist churches. It's all about LOVE, really. If you believe in Love, it's the same as believing in God (not the Mormon God who doesn't love unconditionally).
I wish the same for you. Someday, maybe your wife and child will break free of the cult. I don't know of many people who have made a mixed-religion marriage work when one of them was a Mormon or other cult member. Cults are different than religions. Two different Christian religions of any kind seem to work out fine, though.
One woman on this board likes to give us tips on how to make a marriage with a Mormon work, and she does give good advice....
however it is the Mormon husband who pays the tithing! Not her! I haven't seen this work when the male tithe-payer is the one who doesn't believe. It's like, when you have to "put your money where your mouth is", that it all falls apart.
I wish you wouldn't have to live a life of pretense. Please understand, that I strongly believe this would be bad for your children! Responsible parents owe their children the truth. How could you ever look at that little face, and lie?