Told me he thought of me often and said he loved me. And said that if i needed any help with anything to let him know.

I didn't know what to say but i was angry. Told him my life got ruined and i got pretty messed up by the events of my life. Don't really know what he'll say back.

Has this happened to anyone? One of the people that caused them the most harm still thinks about them and has guilt? I lost a lot of years because of that guy. I suffered for at least twenty years hating myself and i am just supposed to forgive him?

This is weird but maybe necessary.

I don't think you need to forgive him.

I also don't think you need to interact with him. Why not de-friend him and let him go on his way?

You owe him nothing.

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't think you need to forgive him.
>
> I also don't think you need to interact with him.
> Why not de-friend him and let him go on his way?
>
>
> You owe him nothing.

I am not his friend on facebook, he replied to a post i was making to a friend.

Block him.

I thought you were off Facebook. I can't imagine that Facebook is a healthy place for you to be. Especially if people from your past are looking you up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2018 10:07AM by rubi123.

rubi123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I thought you were off Facebook. I can't imagine
> that Facebook is a healthy place for you to be.
> Especially if people from your past are looking
> you up.

My roommate convinced me to get back on facebook because everyone does it and i am a loner.

Facebook is bad for you and makes you depressed, regardless of what your roommate says.

I would recommend you get off it. If you don't believe me, do some research on it.

And remember, no response is, in fact, a response.

I used to work for a junior high school before starting college where the principal had a really bad temper with some of the kids who got under his skin.

Once as I was passing his office I could hear him shouting at the top of his lungs and heard a chair being thrown across the room at a student. In today's climate he'd be fired and charged with child abuse. Back then it was considered corporal punishment.

His vice principal lived near the home I grew up in and we were in neighboring wards. He eventually got his own high school to be principal of. Well, I heard through the grapevine that he threw a rowdy kid down the stairs at the high school. Such were the days of my generational upbringing. The junior high principal wasn't LDS. So it wasn't religion factoring into their decision to be abusive of the students. But it was also pretty well known some of those kids had serious discipline issues, and some were out of control. I believe those were the ones the VP and P had zero patience for. In hindsight, they too could have used some anger management control.

"Once as I was passing his office I could hear him shouting at the top of his lungs and heard a chair being thrown across the room at a student. In today's climate he'd be fired and charged with child abuse. Back then it was considered corporal punishment."

Back in my day, it was euphemistically referred to as "wall-to-wall counselling." The student (or Army recruit) being "counselled" was pushed up against one wall, and then another wall.

Apologies for commenting without knowing the full scoop...

Facebook can be very harmful, I don’t care who’s on the other end of it. I was traumatized by an interaction over FB from a random x boyfriend of my sister’s. It was not someone who had hurt me before. It happened 10 years ago and I still think about it.

Ask yourself how you feel before and after using social media. Notice the way your body reacts or tenses to your thoughts when you visit social media. Maybe ask yourself if these sensations serve you in any way. I’m not saying “do this, don’t do that,” I’m saying “notice this, notice that.”

There may be a temptation to settle a score or turn wrongs into rights, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Will it serve you? Is it important to your journey? Best wishes!

I don't know i always wanted the closure i never got. From him and their god. i always wanted revenge. They destroyed what i once was. I realize now that there is nothing they could do to make up for it. Even throwing a million or a even a billion dollars my way would do nothing to fix the damage.

Yea, but a million bucks would make it a lot easier to live with......just a little joke. One comment about Facebook, for what it’s worth. When you think you are “interacting” on Facebook, it’s really just an illusion. You can’t get to know anyone that way. They all fake their pages anyhow and only tell you what they want you to hear. Instead of wasting time at home on computer.... get out and do live things with live people. Otherwise you may be thinking you’re interacting and getting somewhere, but you’re not.

How’s that Facebook thing working for your roommate??

Facebook is not working for my roommate at all. He lost all of his friends recently for saying some stuff behind their backs and they found out and so now i am his only friend haha. Not the best scenario to be someone's only friend. I do get out. I am out right now at a job center trying to see what work there is right now. It gets easier and easier to be in public the more i do it i think. I could work right now part time and be able to keep the job i am pretty sure or i am at least close, sent my resume to a place today so we will see how that goes. My internet is on my phone so i am usually out when i am on here. Being in public makes me anxious so this is kind of my crutch.

It's good to get out. Take a part time job. Find places you're comfortable hanging out. After awhile you'll feel all cooped up at home. Even tho you're on your phone and technically "out" when you're on Facebook, you're still in there in your head. You've got to be available. Do you like sports? Do you like kids? If so, go to Boys and Girls Club and volunteer to be a ref or something. ....just a thought. Also, I'd keep the roommate deal as businesslike as possible. He sounds like an anchor that you'll have to drag around. Let him make up with his friends. You don't need him around your new friends now that you're getting out and will make some new ones. How's the card playing going?

bobofitz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good to get out. Take a part time job. Find
> places you're comfortable hanging out. After
> awhile you'll feel all cooped up at home. Even tho
> you're on your phone and technically "out" when
> you're on Facebook, you're still in there in your
> head. You've got to be available. Do you like
> sports? Do you like kids? If so, go to Boys and
> Girls Club and volunteer to be a ref or something.
> ....just a thought. Also, I'd keep the roommate
> deal as businesslike as possible. He sounds like
> an anchor that you'll have to drag around. Let him
> make up with his friends. You don't need him
> around your new friends now that you're getting
> out and will make some new ones. How's the card
> playing going?

He does feel like an anchor because he has never lived on his own in twelve years. Has to talk to his parents every day like he is checking in from hanging out with a junior high friend. It is very strange. It is definitely business to keep me afloat during this period of time. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to be clingy and go with me everywhere or check in with me like i am his parent or something. I am younger than him but i am definitely the more responsible one. I think i have lost the love of playing cards and i want to do something else. I need to make real money again, i miss it and my health is better now so i think i can do it. I have a friend in salt lake that wants me to come down and work for him and i think i might do it. I need a break from this town and a break from idaho all together.

Sounds like a good idea.

bobofitz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sounds like a good idea.

This town drives me nuts. Small towns can be very weird and strange as far as the people go.

One thing I've had to work through with my therapist for the last 3 years is that often, when someone abused you and it's been a really long time, for me almost 50 years, they honestly have no recollection of it. For one thing, to them it was either nothing they considered wrong or so small that it is just a manifestation of their overall personality. You don't remember every "little" thing that has happened in your lifetime if it had no particular bearing on you, good or bad.

But for us at the time, and markedly when we were kids, it was not a little thing and affected our lives in so many ways. Especially when they threw the bishop's interviews in on top of it, which were abusive enough in themselves. Sometimes it had bearing on some of the important life decisions we made. You might go years where you never really thought about it much anymore. Then something triggers it. And the older we get and the more we can look back on our lives and see how this "little" thing affected it, the more we can be craving acknowledgement of and apology for, that incident and it's just never going to come. That reality has to eventually be accepted.

Acceptance and avoidance go hand in hand. And so often forgiveness IS both. So avoid situations that put that person back in your life. If it's Facebook, disconnect with him or any others connected to him who might post things that trigger you. If you know you can never talk about it to others because you would never in a million years be believed, talk about it with your counselor. It can really put you in a place where you feel like barriers that have always been in place in your life just magically disappear. That's when you reach acceptance and a form of forgiveness.

I heard just yesterday someone say it's impossible to forgive someone who doesn't acknowledge they did anything wrong. It doesn't mean to go walking around with a grudge the rest of your life for something someone did to you.

But you don't have to forgive them either. Trust, like respect, is earned not a given.

I don't forgive him at all. He deserved to be locked up then and deserves to be locked up now. And anyone that did similar things deserve the same fate in this life or the next.

I had a situation when I was a teen a "good friend" who was very controlling and would burn me in the face with cigarettes when we cut class and hanged out in the bathroom. I joked and pretended it didn't bother me, but it did and I was too afraid of her to respond.

Her "friendship" did affect me to this day, I am a loner, and generally don't trust people, I never spoke with her after I moved away a few years after the events, and often wonder about whatever happened to her, and did she abuse her children? or was she abused? Most abusers were abused themselves.

Also I am very self protective to a fault and defensive if I even sense the slightest feeling that I am being taken advantage of, I immediately go into defense mode and remember her and how she would bully me into doing things I didn't want to do and I say to myself never again will I be taken advantage of.

But I wonder if she would see things the way I saw it, or even if she remembers doing these things. Abusers don't understand or care that their behavior can ruin peoples lives.

someone else's page, they can't see that it is you and he can't find you anywhere on fb. It is under the security settings.

I don't do well with triggers, not at all.

The bishop's wife (the bishop who told me to marry my ex and other things) stopped at my ex's office at the hospital and talked to his workers. My ex wasn't there. She made a lot of disparaging remarks about ME, that I was angry about the alimony I got. What alimony? What f'ing alimony? I never divorced him so I didn't even get child support. Now I could be set if I divorce him and get his 401K and half his pension. I have a good reason why I don't.

But I finally found the old bishop's address and I told him what had happened to my life and where I am now, and to tell his wife to butt out of our business. I mean it has been 34 years since we were in the singles' ward. I told him to not write back. I sent it immediately so i wouldn't back out.

I do really well for the most part (it took a long time, but it happened), but I had some huge triggers in March and April and I just got done seeing my therapist every week for the past few months to get myself back on track.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2018 12:46PM by cl2.

As screwed up as it sounds i think i need this final confrontation now that i am older and have more supports in place. Because i didn't have sh#t for supports when i was a kid. I always imagined getting revenge in the same manner that i was abused but i don't want that anymore. I want to have higher standards than a cult and their f#cked up god in the end. My living and existence will be my revenge in it of itself. They couldn't break me but i know i can break them mentally if i wanted to. I am the better man and won't be pushed into their violent world.

I told him if he really wanted to help than to reimburse me from all the money i had to spend on therapy and meds since i was a teenager. Which is a lot of money. I don't want apologies or bullsh#t prayers, i want restitution.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I told him if he really wanted to help than to
> reimburse me from all the money i had to spend on
> therapy and meds since i was a teenager. Which is
> a lot of money. I don't want apologies or
> bullsh#t prayers, i want restitution.

But you just said,"Throwing a million or even a billion my way would do nothing about fixing my problem." So, which is it?

It wouldn't fix it of course but it will help me stay off the streets.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I told him if he really wanted to help than to
> reimburse me from all the money i had to spend on
> therapy and meds since i was a teenager. Which is
> a lot of money. I don't want apologies or
> bullsh#t prayers, i want restitution.

Has he responded yet to this? Is he wealthy? In my opinion he owes you something whether he's wealthy or not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2018 11:26PM by scmd1.

scmd1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badassadam1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I told him if he really wanted to help than to
> > reimburse me from all the money i had to spend
> on
> > therapy and meds since i was a teenager. Which
> is
> > a lot of money. I don't want apologies or
> > bullsh#t prayers, i want restitution.
>
> Has he responded yet to this? Is he wealthy? In my
> opinion he owes you something whether he's wealthy
> or not.

No response. He is doing well and owns his own construction company still. He easily makes six figures without question and that is wealthy in my book. He knows he played a factor in my issues. I was talking about what i had gone through with a friend of mine and told him i have been battling PTSD and mental illness and other things since i was a kid. And right after i posted that, the guy posted his speel about how he thought of me often. I know he has never forgotten what happened if i have been on his mind this long. He hasn't seen me or talked to me in at least 20 years. That event is not something you forget on either side. I know i haven't forgot it, it feels like it just happened. I think i deserve help yes, from either him, the church, or my father, or god if he ever worked a day in his life. My father gives me money on birthdays and christmas but that is like 200 dollars a year. I have spent so many thousands of dollars trying to get healthy and functioning somewhat normally it is not even funny. All my savings is gone. All the money from my property i sold is gone. Everything went to my health and to keep me alive with shelter. They owe me a lot and if there is a god that truly gives a d@mn he knows it. Money has never made me happy in it of itself but it would make things easier and make me heal a lot quicker in my opinion.

Shame on him!

I actually don't care as much as i used to. Don't really want revenge like i used to. He was just a product of a cult i think just like my parents were. Realizing this and that there is no god may be the key to freedom.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I actually don't care as much as i used to. Don't
> really want revenge like i used to.

Desire for revenge can keep anger stoked. The offending party likely doesn't even know about it and the negative thoughts and emotions only hurt ourselves.


>He was just a product of a cult i think just like my parents >were.

Seems like realizing and accepting this is a positive step to one's own freedom from many of the negatives. It's our lives that get wasted if we don't actively search out and focus on healthier things, such as many of the suggestions people her give to those trying to get out from under the grip of their bad religious experiences.


>Realizing this and that there is no god may be the key to >freedom.

This is the bingo part. (I can't really say about the god part as I still consider myself Christian but I get what you're saying).

From some of your recent comments it sounds like you're so angry with parents, some church members and god as well and desire revenge and recompense for it all.

Life doesn't really work like that. And often even if you get a monetary or other reward or payback it can be hollow. For instance, if someone gets a payout for an accidental or criminal death in the family, you get the $$$ but your loved one is still dead. Into every life a little rain must fall, they say, but often it's a tsunami rather than a shower. Our lives seem to be spent trying to withstand the ravages. I have found that riding the tide, somehow, is the only way to carry on.

I agree with all suggestions to get out into the world, despite past experiences, physical limitations, mood, illness, etc, at least as much as a person can. Sunshine is known to be a mood enhancer. Same with the sound of incoming tide, water lapping at your feet. And birdsong. Kids laughing. Etc.

One time when I was devastated by the sudden death of a friend my pastor at the time (post-mo) asked me the next day after church to go with him and his family to the park for their afternoon outing. It felt counterproductive for me as I was so exhausted after being up all night after the fatal accident on the previous day and I was so utterly bereaved. I felt I didn't have the energy to act normal. But I said yes anyway and it turned out to be a good choice. The pastor couldn't have said anything to make me feel better (and often it's the case; we don't have to know what to say, just being there for someone can be a big help). We were trudging along, not talking. Then his three children started rolling down a hill and their laughter pealed out, touching my heart. I felt a tingle of hope that life does go on and things can get better and it really helped me. Of course, there is a lot of healing that has to occur after our bad experiences. One moment does not an instant cure make. But anything that lightens the mood or produces a spark of hope or optimism is something to actively seek, in my experience.

You just never know what will help things to take a more positive spin. But likely it's not something entirely inside our individual caves. Gotta get out there and trip over a good moment here or there. Hopefully, that little piece of something will get us through another day, even if we do have to go one at a time.

I know it's hard to feel optimistic when one is in pain or has mood problems or physical ailments and a lot of bad memories. But instant cures are few and far between. As are those that spontaneously occur with zero effort from us. It's more a matter at times of doing rather than feeling. As in getting up, going out, breathing air, soaking up sun (if available), saying hello to a (wholesome) stranger on the street. I know I'm easily pleased for the most part but sometimes when things seem tougher than usual merely having a friendly guy hold open a door for me can feel good for hours after.

Maybe the trick is not to expect or ask for too much all at once. Just as physical healing can take time so can the invisible wounds from our younger years that maybe didn't go the way we would have chosen. I had (non-religious) differences with my father at times. After his quick and unexpected death, how much did they matter? I am SO happy that I managed to overlook them and still have a relationship with him. We did enjoy each other's company. We had a lot in common after all. As I've said, perspective is an important element of "getting over" things. As you get older, manage to move on, whatever, somehow many things assume less importance. Kind of a waste of time to have obsessed over them at that point. (I'm not dismissing anybody's personal experiences. I know that "just get over it" is not a valid or helpful attitude towards those who have suffered whatever grief, loss, etc. I'm just reflecting on my own thoughts, experiences and actions).

Try going with that thought of yours, though, of parents who were taken in as well and didn't know different, as well as revenge not necessarily being the most beneficial focus. Seems altogether more positive. Who knows. Could make at least a bit of a difference.

You are right about any recompense would just be hollow. The longer this goes the more i realize why there was no instant cure to begin with. Events happened and i lost myself and i have never known how to make sense of it or grow up to be an adult from it. My mind stood still as the world moved on. All i really had was my anger that defined me from then on. I don't know how to be happy i just keep going hoping someday it will just click or something. And not act or talk like a guy that had already died in the real world. I think my mind is trying to function more properly without so much pain and hate to mess with it. The cure is time really. And giving the mind time to heal so it can let go of things that it has held on for so long. Still really don't know why i am here or what i stand for and that really bothers me. It seems that most people can live without a specific purpose. But my mind doesn't function that way. I have to know what the hell i was born for other than suffering and misery. I don't just want to simply exist and walk blindly through life and not even know why. It just seems that people are unbothered when i go out in public. They live just for the sake of living. Maybe i am not feeling or living the right way or something or i haven't met the right people.

What do you mean he tried to choke you?

Not try, he did. If he has thought of me for this long that means something. I imagine trying to choke a kid to death while the kid is trying his hardest to break free would stick in the memory of a man. I know its stuck with me. Adam died that day.

I am a little confused. When did he choke you, and why?

I accidently scratched his truck and he went apesh#t on me. He was my scout leader. I think i was a deacon. I don't really expect anyone to understand. Maybe people that have been through traumatic things when they were young would but as for everyone else i don't expect an understanding of any kind.

OK, sorry for all the questions. Something happened to me as a child, much more sinister than what you went through. My parents did absolutely nothing about it and shrugged it off.

Yea i've been through other things but this was the big one that totally turned me against god and made me a very hateful person. It's the memory that never goes away.

My parents sided with the scout leader and both yelled at me that night and my dad kicked me really hard. They chose a religion over me and i never forgot it. Always wated revenge but i just never knew how. They were part of the true church with god on their side and i clearly wasn't protected by god.

What is ironic is i would serve time for anything i do against him even though he should be the one that should have served time. It's a crazy world we live in. No fairness, no true justice. The cult protects their own. The good ol' boy system. They get away with everything.

My wife-beater temple ex-husband beat me almost every day, until I finally understood what a "psychopath" is, and I divorced him, and faced up to the Mormon condemnation, shunning, and disgrace that followed.

He was a 250-pound linebacker on the BYU football team, with a black belt in karate. One of the last beatings, he threw me down on the floor, sat on me, and choked me, until I went unconscious. The last thing I saw was his ugly, bloated face above me, snarling and spitting at me, and quoting D & C 132.

Adam, I know what you mean, when you say that you died!

When I regained consciousness, I was alone, on the floor, and and I was alive, but I felt that part of me had not returned to life, with the rest of me. I wondered if it ever would. It never did. I'm distant, detached, cautious. All the spirit, spunk, and personality was beaten out of me.

When you learn what your own triggers are, you can carefully avoid them.

BTW, there was NO REASON WHY he strangled and beat me. He would come in the door angry, or attack me out of the blue, sometimes when I was asleep. Most often, there is no real reason a psychopath attacks a person, or a pedophile molests a child. These monsters are mentally ill, and their crimes have nothing to do with the victims they choose.

My advice would be for you to verbally confront your assailant via e-mail. BUT NOT IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF HIM! Please be careful. Maybe, you could go over his head, to his stake president, or higher, and give a detailed account of the beating and your injuries. Write the details of the doctor bills, too. Threaten to sue the thug!

Maybe you can hire an attorney to write this for you.

After you get that off your chest, throw him out of your life. Do not give him any more of your thoughts. Instead, fill your thoughts with people who are nice and decent. Go to school, read, do puzzles, play cards, or do whatever else it takes to occupy your mind, until these negative thoughts are replaced by positive thoughts, plans for the future, enjoyment, creativity. There's so much MORE to life than whatever that batterer took from you. Don't give him more to take.

This applies to this man's family, his friends, his ward, or anything else having to do with him. Those are all triggers to your PTSD. Block the creep, and then get off of Facebook! Facebook is a huge trigger for me. Really, it's unhealthy even for healthy people. Do your YouTube, or have your own website, or write your story in the RFM exit story section.

You are not bound to forgive this creep.

How dare he say he loves you and cares about you! This makes me furious! My ex used to say the same thing. I had to see a psychiatrist, and have him explain that psychopaths are incapable of love. This guy does not even like you.

Notice that he never admitted to doing anything to you at all? My ex didn't, even though there was a court divorce, with witnesses to multiple attacks and multiple injuries. His GA family never admitted anything, either. He was able to marry another girl in the temple one year and one day after our divorce was final. He went on to beat her, beat his third temple wife, and beat his own children.

Most of "The World" does not operate on the "good-old-boy" system, and people try to enforce the laws of the land, and bring justice to criminals--but I know from experience that the Mormon cult enables and condones child abuse and spousal abuse! There are many more victims of Mormon abuse out there, not just us! But--please don't hate "the world."

No remorse = no forgiveness possible.
No admission of guilt = no forgiveness possible.
No apology = no forgiveness possible.

Equate the above three traits to the mormon cult.

Dump it, and move on.



Sorry to ramble, but I'm furious at the person who choked you!

I fear this guy more than my own father. I know these type of guys are a dime a dozen in that religion but he is one scary dude. I still remember is face when he was choking me and that will never leave me. He never apologized, just like my father never has. They share the same traits and live as if nothing had happened. I vaguely responded that my life was ruined at a young age and i am still trying to salvage it to give a hint that he played a major role in ruining my life because i was young when he attacked me. Either 12 or 13 years old i was. I did not have the same confidence, self-esteem, or personality after this event. Everything good in the world turned to ash. I have wanted revenge against god ever since because he sees all and did not intervene so i thought god was on their side ever since. The ultimate mindf#ck, god backing up the abusers against me. My real personality has never returned and i have never known how to bring it back. All i am now is a guy that thinks life is one big joke and i just want it to be over so my hell will come to an end which is a horrible way to live. Crazy how just one thing can ruin everything. I don't remember who i used to be before the abuse but i was told that i was a happy kid. I have seen home videos of me as a kid and i don't even know that kid in any way. He truly died and a dark and cold person got left in his place hoping to get revenge in some way some day.

jett Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you mean he tried to choke you?

The type of surgery that Adam just had is only needed by choking victims. The Mormon leader damaged the hyoid bone in his neck.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> jett Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What do you mean he tried to choke you?
>
> The type of surgery that Adam just had is only
> needed by choking victims. The Mormon leader
> damaged the hyoid bone in his neck.

Yea it sucks to fix something directly from abuse. It's humiliating as hell. The secret is out, the doctors know. Adam got his @ss kicked and kept it to himself for a long time.

I would block him on Facebook.

You wouldn't try to get some closure of any kind?

Blocking him IS closure.

The only other type of closure I would pursue is an arrest for child abuse or a lawsuit -- both of which are likely impractical at this point in time.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The only other type of closure I would pursue is
> an arrest for child abuse or a lawsuit -- both of
> which are likely impractical at this point in
> time.

Yes it is, i talked to a lawyer about it and too much time has passed. If it was sexual abuse it could be a different story. I read about a guy that sued for sexual abuse as a child when he became an adult and he won.

This man single-handedly altered my entire view of life, god, and people in general. My mind is caught on this event no matter what i do, everything else is just bs and messing around.

You say you have PTSD. So why the hell are you trying to aggravate yourself?

Move on with your life. Vent to your therapist. You aren't going to get closure by confronting your abuser from when you were a kid.

My eighth grade art teacher and I became friends on Facebook. I was the only girl in my class to get the paddle that year because I liked talking more than drawing lol.

That paddle was badass. He had drilled holes through it for special added effect. Today he'd be charged with child abuse. He gave me an option of writing a 500 word essay or taking the paddle. Mistakenly I chose the paddle.

He'd forgotten all about that by the time we caught up on Facebook. Completely moved on. And I'm no longer stigmatized by it either. If someone had tried to choke me, however, no matter how long ago ... would cut all ties, period. Unless you're more forgiving. Which you're not. Just block the bloke.

I don't know how to move on obviously, i didn't live anything close to a normal life and never knew how, it's all been pretend living since the abuse. Maybe confronting the abuser is the only way. Lord knows i tried everything else. I've been venting forever. Makes sense to confront the abuser in my mind. I never got an eye for an eye.

I know revenge is out there and I know how satisfying it would be to take yours out on him but the POS isn't worth doing jail time for.

Lethbridge Reprobate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know revenge is out there and I know how
> satisfying it would be to take yours out on him
> but the POS isn't worth doing jail time for.

No he is not worth doing jail time for and i think i am on a decent path right now of progress, i don't need a huge setback because i wanted a quick revenge.

And forgiveness is overrated IMHO.

Have you considered "outing" him by publicly posting a reply on his timeline? I doubt he'd sue you though he'd probably delete the reply.

xxMMMooo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have you considered "outing" him by publicly
> posting a reply on his timeline? I doubt he'd sue
> you though he'd probably delete the reply.

You think outing him would even do anything?

I hadn't thought of that.

Merriam-Webster dictionary:
“confront: to face especially in challenge : oppose, confront an enemy, to meet face-to-face : encounter”

My friend, there can never be a satisfactory face-to-face confrontation with this sick man.
You are better off to confront him in your mind.
I suggest you write him a letter of confrontation, about 2 pages. Unburden your suffering and vent away in detail, as if he were listening. When done, lock it away in a drawer. When you no longer need it, destroy it. The bully will lose power over your life.

I have read many of your posts which reveal a deep desire to move forward. I know it’s very difficult. My loved one suffered an almost identical experience of strangulation by a close family member. It almost ruined his life. He is on the path to recovery, like you.

Your value is intrinsic. No one can take that away. Put your energy into re-discovering who you are. I think you will find a survivor who is brave and caring. Be good to yourself.

I have imagined a confrontation or a face-off for so long that i do not know who i am without this idea or goal. I even imagined a face-off with the gods all the way to the strongest one including the legendary one from the bible jesus christ. Just to prove that i am the stronger, and that i knew, and to make sure that they knew that i went through more than all of 'em. And they can never take that away from me. And all of their followers will know that i went through more hell than any of their gods could ever even fathom or imagine. Without this anger or this final future face off, i am nothing, i have no real personality, i have no hope to become anything but a broken man for the rest of the world to gawk at and to make fun of. F#ck 'em, f#ck 'em all, i don't push forward for any of their sake or a god's sake but for my best friend's sake. If he says to stay alive no matter what anyone else does then i will figure this out somehow without dying, even if the memories kill me and the broken and sad adam has to re-emerge one last time and give this life an honest go without anymore dancing around the subject. I was humiliated in front of a f#cking church. I was betrayed by god and they called me the bad guy ever since. He betrayed me and that hurts the most out of anything. To the point that i had wished that i had never existed. Never really realized the emotions i would have to feel to truly get better till now. I have to admit that i am an abuse victim and that is very painful to truly accept rather than just denying it ever happened to you and create a false and stoic persona as a cover-up for twenty years just to protect yourself. There was a time i would rather have died than to admit what happened to me to a professional.