Posted by:
Elder Berry
(
)
Date: July 22, 2018 03:31PM
BYU Boner Wrote:
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> To be honest, my faith is in the shitter right
> now. I find strength and support from the
> wonderful folks here. And I beat you to the ED a
> long time ago :)
:) Glad we both have wonderful folks here. You are one for me.
> My struggles are a little better in trying to
> build a relationship with my wife. I want to be
> her best friend, and she tells me that she wants
> that too. We did a recent road trip and had a
> great time together, but then I almost started to
> cry when I saw the “Welcome to Utah” sign.
My kids texted me that sign last week. I have to say my reaction was much the same as yours.
I think best friends is a worthy goal. I think that is where my wife and I are heading. The impasse of the church is a might barrier to overcome in establishing best friendship but I believe we are naturally inclined to pair bond. It isn't something we can control. We can only go the distance with the pair bond we have and see how long it lasts. Pair bonding and kin altruism are nice to haves in human existence but we are such social and helpful to each other creatures, they aren't required for your salvation Boner. Just because we have a proclivity in our cultures to pair bond and kin bond doesn't me we are bond to do it.
I take solace in my existence as a social creature able to help others of my kind. It is something I enjoy in any expressions.
> I hate this place! My wife has all the family
> member pulling on her, then there’s THE CHURCH.
> I know why she does what she does—tradition,
> upbringing, societal pressures; but, I want the
> pure insane love of the Song of Songs! I want my
> beloved to be mine!
She is yours just outside of the cultural and tribal framework. We are making it work so I hope you can to. I'm an oasis from the "us" of my wife's cultural, familial, and tribal framework.
> I’m too close to retirement to seriously
> consider moving out of state. I talked with her
> about the neighborhood shunning and constant
> family demands. She’s torn. So, where are you
> God? Do you even give a fuck? How much have I
> prayed about this? I’m also fighting depression
> right now—retirement is looming—work give me
> satisfaction and purpose, but it’s time to let
> the brighter and more energetic have a chance.
Maybe your religious beliefs will help you with a sense of purpose. Most of my retired friends are having a great life but then again they are mostly gay.
> Ironically, church helps me. For an hour I
> experience poetry, purpose, friendship, and
> meaning. I guess I’m a Christian by longing. My
> pastor tells me it’s all okay because I’m
> being honest with myself. And, yes, there are
> those times faith seems to make sense.
Well, no one is firm in their faith in my opinion. They could be in a religious ecstasy so intently that they can beat themselves and not feel it but they still can't live in the modern world without some doubts. Gone are the times of no knowledge to produce doubts. You would have to isolate oneself for that.
> So, Elder, I find my solace in trying to be the
> best friend and colleague possible. Somehow,
> people in my real life are drawn to me, I just
> wish my wife were one of them.
She isn't?
> Okay, enough of the pity pot! Elder, stay
> fuckin’ strong and keep posting. Now, go have
> fun with the misses and enjoy a good wank during
> some down time!
I have thanks!