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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 12:54PM

Yesterday was the first anniversary of retirement. Leaving my comfy position as government intelligence analyst, it was one of the scariest moments in my life. One year ago today, my wife and I drove off from Augusta, GA, in an overloaded pickup to Idaho, beginning a 6-month search for a home in the West. It was exhausting and expensive, but led us to our home in southwestern Washington along the Columbia River. It's a beautiful area, and the Pacific NW, particularly in Columbia country, is the most beautiful part of the region. Good news is, it worked out great, and scariness is over, but I am up to my neck in renovating an old house. Anyway, last year I parted Augusta with this poem I put on Facebook (it's all about me! Me, me, me!) that I ripped off of an old, strange hymn that used to be in the LDS hymnbook up to 1985, about the death of Karl G. Maeser, founder of BYU. My apologies to Karl G. Maeser, and especially to Annie Pike Greenwood, but it was a dorky hymn and needed a parody, anyway:

"The Analyst's Work is Done"

Come lay his badge and lanyard by,
He shall not need them more.
I.T. is going to Windows 10,
So he's bolted for the door.

His tired head, with locks still brown
(much like a septic pond),
Hath lain to peaceful rest tonight.
The analyst's work is done.

His work is done! No care tonight his tranquil rest shall break.
Some Ambien... Then with the morning light his pickup truck he'll take.
His meandering thoughts, his weird appeal, his works that few have read,
Trump won't know the loss we feel, since all our works get shred.

We feel it, as we miss the hand that repair'd abysmal grammar,
"Uh... I guess I could get a job at, like,... Costco," he'll very likely stammer.
Per chance when pension its change hath wrought, and this brief race is run,
Some will think, "Finally! Geez, who knew he'd get it done?"


Inna name of Jeebus Chrise, Amen.

(PS: The Costco idea is right out. Don't need it.)

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:08PM

Nice poem, Cludgie.

I wondered where you ended up.

So it wasn't Idaho after all. SW Washington is nice too ... and further away from the Morridor. But you knew that. :) A cousin lives across the border from Lewiston, Idaho on the Washington side. He likes it there alright. His mom, my first cousin, retired to Lewiston from SE Idaho recently. She has more children living there and grandchildren, so it was a good move for her and her husband.

Have fun with the renovations.

That's a big leap from Georgia to SW Washington. A good place to set down roots, not as much in the fast lane.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:12PM

I also love your cousin's area, and considered it. But the entire populations of Lewiston, Clarkston (see what they did there?), Moscow, and Pullman are a long way from anywhere, with no Interstate for miles. And no viable airports. Fortunately, there is Costco.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:26PM

Her daughter has a ranch over there she lives with her husband.

When I went to junior college in Coeur d'Alene (years ago,) remember Moscow did seem off the beaten path, but a popular destination because of the university there.

My cousin is a retired English teacher, and her husband is a retired schoolteacher of something. They taught there for a number of years before moving back to SE Idaho. Then lived on her family homestead for a number of years, but she decided to sell it last year to move away. It was where I went as a child to visit her parents, my aunt and uncle, who I adored her mother dearly. She was my favorite aunt as I was growing up. The old homestead was harder on me to watch her sell than it was for her, I think. :)

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:27PM

What happened in the Clarkston/Lewiston area?

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 06:48PM

Named after Lewis and Clark, who came down the Lochsa River. The Lochsa joins the Snake at Lewiston, which then joins the Columbia at Kennewick, WA

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:14PM


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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 01:24PM

The movie, “About Schmidt,” seems to be my life right about now. I’m still waiting for Kathy Bates to show up nude in my hot tub. Nickleson’s Boner.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 08:28PM

You're back!

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 07:58PM

A nice place to be. One of our daughters lived several years around there just on the north side of the Colombia River but now lives down the road in central Oregon with a great husband and some of the most beautiful children on earth.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 08:28PM

Bend? I had originally hoped to retire in the Bend area. Too expensive.

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: September 01, 2018 08:50PM

Great produce every summer. Make sure you get some corn and tomatoes. Peaches are still on and apples not far behind. Come spring start watching for cherries, they ROCK!

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