Date: October 10, 2018 10:56PM
Me: Hey, haven't seen you in ages! How are things going?
Him: Fine. Ended up with 10 kids and now I have 31 grandchildren and a couple of great-grandchildren.
Me: Wow, how cool is that!! Obviously, you're still doing the mormon thing!
Him: Well, no. I'm not a mormon. I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ and a Latter-day Saint.
Me: Oh, yeah, that Conference thing. That's crazy! You and I grew up mormon and even if I dropped the religious part of it, I'm still a mormon, right? That's all I know! I'm a tribal mormon!
Him: Using the word mormon offends ghawd, and now that the prophet...
Me: Wait a second! If you were like me, you were masturbating to beat the band when we were in high school. Jesus survived all that offensive behavior, and that's got to be more annoying to him than then word mormon. Has Jesus gone all snowflake on us? I think what it is is that you've got a prophet with a stick up his ass.
Him: Nice talking to you, and go to hell !!
Me: I've got dinner reservations there with a really nice group of people. You'd hate us all!!