Posted by:
goldrose
(
)
Date: November 12, 2018 03:42PM
Hello friends, I missed you dearly. I still come here and look around. I hope everyone is doing well. My recovery from Mormonism is going pretty well. I travel a lot for work and keep myself busy. I’m not excited to spend the holidays with my lds family, but I want to be as loving towards them as possible.
Today I come here to ask for a piece of advice/recommendation/hear your story and etc.
I met a great guy in May/June and we started going out. He’s my first non LDS relationship and I find myself wondering about really strange things. Please, no judgement. I find myself feeling jealous. Jealous because he had relationships before me. I know it sounds absolutely crazy. He’s over 30. Of course he dated people. I don’t like myself for feeling jealous about it. I hate my mormon mindset. I’m not saying all Mormons marry their first love or the first person they meet, but they don’t carry he same emotional baggage in most cases. This man is very honest with me. Of course ex girlfriends came up. He was engaged to a girl four years ago and eventually they broke up. He told me that relationship made him a different person. It takes time for him to build trust and etc. Which I understand. My Mormon ex broke me too. We’re not “official”. I dont date anyone else and I trust him that I’m also the only girl he dates.
I also get jealous that he was engaged to her and he posted a picture of them on social media. Silly again. They broke up 3 years ago.
He’s very affectionate towards me, I met his family, we plan trips, we have fun, he treats me with respect, we enjoy time together. I really can’t complain about him. I don’t think he’s leading me on or trying to use me. I just don’t know how to be in a relationship and deal with real stuff. I don’t like how much I think about the past and what he had with someone else. I told him about my what I feel and why I feel that way. I told him about my Mormon past and how it still influences me.
I’m used to seeing people getting married after just couple of months and their relationships look virtually easy and I’m just “angry” that mine is not. I hope any of this actually makes sense