Ok, let's start off by me acknowledging that I am in a corner.

When I cut ties with the Mormons, many of my relationships will change for the worse on a permanent basis, especially with my wife. She's a cool, but dyed in the wool daughter of Utah pioneers.

So, we both pretend a little. I go to an hour of church a week. She holds out hope that I will eventually come around again. I am convinced that she will never question the church. We actually get along great.

The last time my temple recommend expired I just let it go. So far, my wife has not pushed this issue. She goes every week, but it has been years since I have darkened the door of the Lord's summer home.

The church leaders have consistently told us to pay tithing as we earn money. I have always waited until tithing settlement to write a big check. I fantasize for a few months before that this will be the year that I walk away from the madness, but so far I have always written a check. I pick an amount that is about half of what I earn based on net. This number is plausible for a family our size in our neighborhood. I figure that this respects my wife's wishes without drawing attention.

It's like renewing an annual subscription to a happy marriage.

Only you know your situation, but it seems like perhaps you could start plying her with Church-approved materials/books that could make her think....with some well-placed questions, maybe she could get out...

no more "annual subscription" fee for your happy marriage.

Think of much more fun activities you could do with those funds: air tickets, paddleboards, retirement contributions, luxury gifts you choose for yourselves (but normally would not and have not), long weekend somewhere really romantic, donation to a cause you both truly believe in, indulge your grandkids, learn to sail, hire a chef, renew your vows and throw an amazing party to celebrate...

Lowpriest Wrote:
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> It's like renewing an annual subscription to a
> happy marriage.

Perfect metaphor but it might not be a metaphor. It might be literally true in many marriages.

STOP writing the check.
You know you can't deduct it any longer,right?

Paying the morg is like lighting fire to your money and watch it burn away.

You can deduct it. But the restrictions are much tighter. Many will not be able to itemize their deductions but those that can will still get the write off.

The new advice is to double down in one year and skip the other year thus making some of your contributions deductible.

The Mormons will hate this. It would greatly reduce the amounts the get.

I'd rather renew my subscription to 'Model Railroader', thank you.

No disrespect (well,maybe a little) but I don't see how a woman like your wife who hasn't worked and sacrificed her entire life for a paycheck, could possibly understand what an unreasonable demand tithing is.

This year, give her the tithing money--as a gift to her, outright--to pay the tithing herself, or to do anything she wants with it. Put the cash into her hand for her to feel and count. As a mother, thoughts might flash through her head, of how she could help her kids with that money. As a good wife, she might fantasize about a vacation for the two of you together. There are always repairs needed on any house and most cars, doctor's bills. It would be worth more than the money, to get your wife THINKING!

Tell your wife that, from now on, she must go to tithing settlement and pay that tithing money you give her. Make it positive. She can have the "joy" and the respect of giving to her cult. SHE must be the one to meet with the bishop at an inconvenient time. SHE must be the one to answer the prying and obnoxious questions about your income--or present the necessary tax documents and pay stubs, if they will be required. Just smile and tell her you are done with it. It's HER church, and it's up to HER. I would tell the children, too, and let them see all that money that their mother is going to hand over to the cult. Just show them the Truth, without saying much at all. If your kids want something extra for Christmas, say, "Ask your mother. She has a drawer full of cash, right now. If your wife wants something, say, "Sorry, I can't afford it since I gave you that chunk of cash for tithing--maybe next year."

Too many of us tiptoe around the Mormons, and even join in on the lies, for the sake of keeping the peace, or out of fear of losing something. Why not let the Mormons reap what they sow. She should be happy you are still paying tithing, and needs to be willing to participate in that.

I have enjoyed all if the responses, but I think I will try your suggestion. Thank you!

I turned the tithing question around to my wife. If she feels it is her "right" to go into our accounts or use credit buy whatever the Spirit directs her to do, then we will only pay tithing on any amounts left. The decision is yours, dear, because I don't care if we ever enter a temple again.

My wife gave our son money equivalent to more than one month's tithing to our son to buy drugs (*not* medicine). She couldn't risk him stealing from ward members. I just deducted the unexpected debt from our tithing.

So I would go to tithing settlement. My wife can sit while her husband says, "Tithing paid except for April and September when the family had 'other priorities.'"

NOT like a subscription renewal

--unless its a membership to an investment group that never, ever pays off.

--unless you're paying off the mafia to not bully you, not try to ruin your marriage.

--unless its like paying the Neo Nazis to not turn your children against you and report you.

--unless its subscribing to a dating website that only dates subscribers and shuns everyone else.

--except its a little like joining the "cookie of the month club" and you are allergic to gluten.

--I think it's like thug-tactics, to have to pay into the Mormon cult, just to be LEFT ALOLNE and hot harassed by your own wife and family and neighbors! Mormon thugs even threaten people's jobs, if they have that power!

...or,like a bad time-share contract that you can't get out of.

A time share you have to pay for a hotel to be able to use.

suggested combination:


get your TR, tithing coercion, & magazine subscriptions all at once; have a gauntlet of stations to visit at same day!

'btw, are your garments holding up OK? Let me show you our latest styles!!;

You have to pay for their "Ensign." Ironic.

Lowpriest,

I think you have discovered the formula for a happy marriage, I was reading something that the happiest marriages are those that *don't* seek to resolve all differences, just look the other way!

For years!

I do think the suggestion to let the wife pay and do tithing settlements is a good one! Make sure there are a lot of shopping malls between your house and where she has to give the money over to the church, haha.

No, it isn't - in a bigger way...

People WANT to renew their subscriptions.
It brings them joy, information, and ideas.

A subscription isn't based on income or
Magazines would cost, like, $625 a year.
Health clubs would be like $13,300 per year.
Social clubs would be, like, $21,895/ year.

It's like FORCED invasion of privacy, and
Mandantory "GIVING", more like TAKING!
Demands on your TIME, and your MONEY.
It's like a heist, or a ransome.
You OWE - this much
PAY, or else...
Die or Quit.

Fork it Over! Starve. We don't care. Give to us first! Then, if you have any/ enough left, give to the Lord/ yourself. Heavenly Farter can't to hungry, but you can!

M@t