Date: December 10, 2018 06:02AM
I'm wondering exactly HOW you plan on skipping Chrismas? Are you going to hole up in the back of your house, or beat it to Tahiti? Are you going to eat nothing but Ensure, for fear of indulging, or cooking yourself a "feast"? Will you close your eyes when you see Christmas lights?
I agree with Elyse. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. I'm afraid that the only person who will suffer your loss of Christmas is YOU.
I gave up MOMON christmas. Do you have any idea how good it felt tonight to see all the cars in the Mormon parking lot, for the Messiah--AND I WAS NOT THERE? After years of tedious rehearsals and stressful performances, I'm celebrating.
Along with celebrating the NOT doing, celebrate by doing something else, that you like better. Instead of performing in the Messiah, I played some of my favorite pieces of music on the piano, for hours.
Think of rewarding yourself from breaking free of your problems. Reward yourself for finding out The Truth. Lighten up, and have some fun!
Today, on my snow hike, a bunch of people were screaming and yelling, and behaving like idiots, and annoying everyone around them. I got upset, but then realized that I was there to enjoy myself. Whenever I get into hate-mode, it ruins my fun. Then I start complaining, and that ruins the fun of the people I'm with. I just made up my mind not to be annoyed. It was that simple.
Choices work both ways. The same (unwritten) rule that allows you to NOT celebrate Christmas, is the same rule that allows people to celebrate Christmas. All sane activities can be carried out without fines, arrests, social pressure, or people thinking something is really wrong with you. The judgmental idiots are breaking the rules, and you don't need to care about what they think.
Please, DO have some fun on your days off. Sleep, read, clean the garage, eat candy, or whatever your bliss is. "Restructure" your holiday. It's impossible to "Skip" it, altogether.
I was angry, when I left the cult. "Un-Mormonizing" my Christmas, made it better, for everyone in my family. We dumped Sacrament meetings, the boring firesides, awkward parties, and we started our own traditions, like skiing on Christmas Eve day. On Christmas, we don't make the women-folk slave in the kitchen and make a huge dinner. We play, and eat the goodies that people give us, and eat cheese, fruit, sandwiches, egg nog, and it's a free-for all. Everyone fixes their own snacks, when they are hungry. We sing and harmonize the Christmas songs we like, and not the Mormon dirges. We dance.
Something positive just might come of this. We discovered that it was more satisfying to give to real charities, real people in real need, than it was to pay forced tithing to a hoax that didn't need it. Give anonymously, and no one can criticize you for it. At the same time, do NOT give to groups that advertise too much, or push you. Don't support the stores, if you don't want to. Get all of your groceries in November, and freeze stuff.
If you don't like big parties, or family gatherings, do things one-on-one with each family member.
If someone sends you a Christmas card, will you hate them for it? That just makes you more unhappy.
Guy 3, it's OK to not go, but at least write your mother a nice letter, or call her, or Face-time her.
It isn't all-or-nothing. That kind of thinking should be left behind, when we leave the cult. Compromise is possible.