A friend married too soon, divorced; married a divorced woman with 3 children of her own, now they have 6. she is pregnant. He is 26.

He started his own business, as a desperate attempt to get out from under the crushing financial burden that an indefinite life of poverty would bring. The business is struggling as he has no credit, assets or time.

He came to me for a loan.

I turned him down seeing the inevitable: any money that he gets will have to go to feed kids, pay bills and get out of debt, and pay back tithing, before it does any good to the business.

As he left my office, I could not help but see so many Mormons in the same predicament. Way over their heads, too young, under-educated, closed-minded, out of touch, broke…

...broken.

My best friend, my brother, countless friends and acquaintances, burdened to the point that only the church can help make sense of the madness that they have gotten themselves into.

The church manufactures problems so people will drown in them, and then offers sappy platitudes, corner-store wisdom and superficial social support in order to keep them alive.

What business does a 23 year old that makes 25K a year have having a 300k house and 5 kids? What man with 6 children and a wife falling apart at home decides that if he spends 30 hours a week working for his church, that his family will be better off, and when he does get two free hours a week, decides to spend those in the temple praying for his family.

How can a woman be better off in a religion that treats her as a sack of dismissed feelings that is predestined to be a servant to her husband? She will begin to compare her worth to what she sees in others, and find the constant reinforcement that she is less will mutate her into someone she’d never recognize from a distance. How can she be of any worth to when her grandmother was treated as cattle, and everyone pretends she wasn't?

How can a gay person feel like that the satisfaction found in obedience will replace the joy of having lived a full life? how can they have self-respect knowing their kids will be treated as sinners before they even become accountable?

How can a person of color ever truly feel their potential, self-worth and cultural pride when the silenced whispers of racist doctrine echo down the hallway?

How can a black man, with any self-respect explain the curse of Cain to his son?

How can you look yourself in the mirror and know that your are OK being in a racist, murderous, lying, conniving, predatory, bigoted organization and tell yourself that is it your tribe and as long as you get to object to some details on a web forum, that you are OK staying? Why open that wound so only the church can treat it for you?

How can you be better off with less time, money, self-worth and education? You can’t. You become the kind of mess that the church is more than happy to sell to others as happy.

Mormons are often crippled by the very religion they claim as a miracle cure. They rejoice that their crushing burdens are relived 3 hours a week by being able to sit down and listen to emotional junk.

Starved, they give their bread to the church to feel relief and gratitude that a few crumbs fell off the table.

The church is a burden of the poor, the uneducated, women, time, money, government, taxes, our minds, science, history, honesty, freedom, equality and truth.

I denounce it.

Mormons don’t realize that most of the burdens in their life are direct or indirect results of their involvement in the church.

You don’t ever have enough money?

Feeling inferior because of your race or because you are a woman? don't worry, Eve got a few more lines in a movie.

Not enough time with your family?

Feeling bombarded with the threat of “them” (non-members, the world, coffee drinkers!)?

Are you depressed about keeping up with the Jones'?

You are confused that no matter how much you try, the promised blessings never come as promised?

Are you tired of living in the past or the future?

Are you crushed by your inability to have kids or find a “worthy” spouse?

Are your weekends too short?

Tired of looking the other way on facts, science and history?

Guess what, these burdens are placed on you by the church. They dissolve immediately upon exiting it.


Life has it own, real, magic, you do not need to walk around life with a 200 lb backpack filled with magical thinking in order to soften it and make it bland enough to swallow.

I promise you, all of the fears of leaving are false indoctrination.

I challenge you, if you have not already done so, to drop those crutches, bandages, razor blades, Xanax pills, mental hoops, and psychological poison and join us in the free world.

It is the greatest joy you can experience as a human, and, it happens to be 100% real.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2019 01:40PM by sb.

Sb, you’re wonderful.

oh, you are too kind, thank you.

I agree with kathleen. YOU are on fire today.

You are making me blush. Just need a bit of recovery after dealing with in-law mormon family after the holidays.

A third for that sentiment. Totally on fire :)

My question from the above:

Who the heck gives a loan for a $300K house to somebody making $25K a year?? A mormon loan officer from his ward or something?

The Eagles put it this way:

"So often times it happens
That we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key"

— "Already Gone"

Great lyric. Makes me think of something similar related here once about baby elephants being chained to a stake that they cannot pull out of the ground. Once they become adults and could easily pull the post out of the ground they don't because they still think they can't.

So easy to make these types of comparisons to Mormons, isn't it?

Great post sb!

(Never mind that Mormon nomore is sill a mental Mormon and does not have the answers to all those NECESSARY questions you wrote.)

You nailed it: "Mormons don’t realize that most of the burdens in their life are direct or indirect results of their involvement in the church."

I'm sincere in this--and my life has had its share of unavoidable glitches and bumps--that you above sentence came as a stunning, life-changing revelation to me! Almost every problem came from Mormonism! And, literally every problem that COULD NOT BE SOLVED came from Mormonism!

I would list these problems, but that would be tedious. SB mentioned the major ones, above. In my life, I will add the problem of abuse. Yes, it was Mormon abuse, from Mormons, in a Mormon setting, condoned and mostly denied by Mormons. These crimes against me and my children have gone un-punished to this day. The final solution to all forms of abuse was to separate ourselves from it: my children and I left the cult, and cut off all contact with Mormons who were abusive.

When we resigned, I had no idea of how wonderful life was! When I got rid of my Mormon judgmental critics, and the enforced inferiority thrust onto me as a single divorced working mother--I woke up and saw myself as OK! I thought I was struggling, but most of my struggles were with the cult. In reality, I was successful in my career! I was financially and emotionally supporting all of my children--without a "priesthood holder in my home." Mormons told me this was IMPOSSIBLE. Mormons said I needed to get married ASAP, and would fail in life, without a temple marriage to another Mormon. Yes, it's all propaganda!

We resigned, and none of those bad things that the Mormons threatened--none--none of them happened! Not to me, not to the children. We were free to finish our education, gain confidence, trust our gut, be honest, love others, and go out into the world and make it!

We did it all, without that crutch. The Mormon crutch was not used to help us, it was used to beat us over the head.

"Already Gone" was my theme song, while I was in the process of leaving the Mormons.

Thank you for sharing such a personal experience, I sincerely appreciate it. As far as the guy who developed a neurological disorder from reading rhetorical question, dont worry I write professionally and am used to feeble tangents.
Thanks again for bringing up the topic of abuse in the church, we dont talk about it enough.
Thanks



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2019 04:36PM by sb.

Love this. I like your line, "I had no idea of how wonderful life was!" And then you found out.

I actually had an inkling of how wonderful life could be without that church. I had been looking through the slats of my cage for years. I noticed on my mission that people were having great lives and had never even heard of Mormons and seemed happier than the Mormons. Found out for myself.

Best Post of the year! What clarity and Wisdom? This needs to be spread through out the ranks and placed on billboards! Well thought out out and concise. THANK YOU

Birth control has been freely available in my state at least, County clinics, walk in, since the 1970's. There is no reason for anyone to have more children than they can afford. The church is just like the Catholics, why do religions keep discouraging sensible family size limits?

However, I personally know (they told me themselves) of one family in my ward who has received $800 per month to help them make their house payment, from the Bishop, for years.

I imagine someone, or the church, helps sb's friend support that $300K house, and who knows if that is taxable (different thread).

> Guess what, these burdens are placed on you by the church. They dissolve immediately upon exiting it.

I love this (and the entire post.) You nailed it.

This is a terrific post. I was born and raised in the Mormon church surrounded by Mormons. Even though I quit going to church at age 18, it took me several years to mentally disentangle myself from it. I officially renounced it three years ago when I resigned.

It is so true that many of the burdens members feel in life are put on their backs by the church itself. What a revelation! When I was younger, I thought I was the problem, but the older I get, the more I’ve seen how the church was, and still is (for some of my family members) the problem.

I’m so glad that I got out when I did. I’m with you in denouncing it.

Thank you very much, It silly that we grind ourselves to powder living in a fantasy world. Trying to connect their contradictory doctrine, while we sort out feelings, guilt and indoctrination.

It really is like a spell. I commend you for having the fortitude to break it and walk away whole.

Thanks. I don’t ever regret getting out when I did.