Posted by:
Mother Who Knows
(
)
Date: January 09, 2019 01:13PM
Yes, Afraid, you answered your own question. I love that!
I have had similar experiences, and it hurts to be treated like a criminal, when you are a good person. (I wear appropriate clothes, a skirt for funerals, no alcohol or drugs or coffee, I'm moral and honest, polite, friendly, etc.) I like your idea that trying to salvage relationships with Mormons who are shunning you, is "living in the past."
But I would add that it is also "living in denial." Those people were never your real friends, in the first place--otherwise you would still be friends now! They're still your neighbors, that you would normally see, coming and going, and share part of your life with. Your waving neighbor was only an assigned friend, your assigned VT.
I physically avoid Mormons. Every time I have an encounter with a zealous fanatic, I get burned.
Your situation with your neighbor with the broken leg has become weird and cult-controlled. Normally, you would be the good neighbor and bring her dinner right away, which she could save and re-heat later, or whenever she needed it, or you could bring her flowers. But, no, your kindness will be viewed as in inconvenience, something the cult has to schedule, probably something they don't want. They will have to deal with the fact that you are a GOOD PERSON, and not an apostate in outer darkness.
The responsibility is on us ex-Mormons to stick to what's normal, real, and heart-felt. It's up to us to un-complicate our lives, and deal with the scrambled thinking of the Mormons around us.
Do whatever reflects YOU and YOUR VALUES. If the RS sisters think your food is poisoned, and throw it out, that's their decision. Don't do any extra work. You have paid your dues. Give her flowers, but have one of your kids or someone else, take them over to her. You don't want some RS assigned person to answer the door and say, "What are you doing here."
Don't give the Mormons opportunities to be rude to you.