I participate in several other ex-mormon sites and communities, and I have noticed a strong uptick of KM letters being sent out to those who have been ex'd or resigned, but still attend their local ward.

They still attend because:

1) To be with their family or event
2) Secretly keeping tabs on the church
3) Looking for opportunities to speak publicly
4) Looking for private opportunities to wake people up
5) Want to maintain long friendships

Well, the church is not having it, and I have spoken with 7 individuals over the past few months that have been sent a KM letter.

On a side note, it seems like the letters are written by aids as some the pictures that I have seen have typos in them... no way they are enforceable either.

I guess you are not truly out until you have your KM letter... resignation and excommunication is not enough!

If you have resigned or have been ex'd... the church considers you VERY dangerous and they DO NOT want you attending services.

I was speaking with one gal (resigned) who said she just attended with her TBM children, and she said nothing... kept quiet in all meetings... and still received a certified KM letter a few months later.

Knowledge is power, and that power is dangerous to the Mormon church.

Nevermo here: What is a "KM letter"?

Tevai Wrote:
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> Nevermo here: What is a "KM letter"?


A formal letter from the church's law office stating that you are no longer welcome to attend services. They vary, but some are really harsh and say if you are found on church property you will be arrested and charged with trespassing.

Thank you.

I presume 'KM' denotes: Kirton McConkie ...

That, my friend, is the Lord's Own Law Firm.

We speak of them in hushed tones and never with loud laughter.

We would expect The Lord's Own Corporation to have lawyers up the covenant, now wouldn't we?

Up the "Holy" covenant, you infidel!

Ah, that would be "unholy covenant", no?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2019 03:48PM by 3X.

Well, if you insist that words must have meanings.

But I'd advise you not to be so literal. If you aren't capable of doublespeak from time to time, you may find yourself facing a Court of Love!

"you may find yourself facing a Court of Love"

That sounds almost salacious - not in a mormon context, obviously.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2019 09:30PM by 3X.

Zap



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2019 11:48PM by Lot's Wife.

What does a nevermo have to do to get one?

GregS Wrote:
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> What does a nevermo have to do to get one?

Just publicly bear your testimony about Horny Joe's love of 14-year-old girls on fast Sunday. That should do it once they forcibly remove you from the pulpit. Oh, and take a video of it and plaster it all over the internet. That will definitely do it.

Try attending in drag.

So, someone in the ward is assigned to notify somebody up the food chain that so and so is attending a meeting? Or is there an enemies list someplace, like the " no fly" list? Egads, this is really starting to sound very totalitarian. I am waiting to see the "visitors welcome" sign come off the buildings.

So, if we decide we want to go to church for some reason, we have to go incognito?

I didn’t get one. Shunned again!

I'm skeptical about the OP. I'd like to see one of the letters posted online please.

Most of the letters are personal so people don't share them, I had to ask to see them because I was a skeptic as well.

However, there is one that I was able to find right away (go to time 3:40 to see an example of a letter). There are others but I really don't want to start sharing without permission.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzQe26vzcDM

Snickers Wrote:
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> Most of the letters are personal so people don't
> share them,


They’re sacred, not secret!

EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGCELLENT VIDEO !!!

Thanks for posting that. I can find one other example in one of the replies to a Mormon Newsroom Tweet. In both it mentions the recipient of the letter was getting it because they caused a disturbance during Church services. For example, Mike Norton has (unsurprisingly) received such a letter

I personally know people who have been excommunicated who attend Church still quite happily and are welcomed. I see no evidence that KM is routinely asking excommunicated members to stay away from Church premises.

The thread title "KM letters handed out like candy... visitors NOT welcome" is simply not true.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2019 03:37AM by pettigrew.

I'm with Pettigrew. These letters would be seriously nasty and un-Christian, if they do exist.

I would like to see an actual copy of one of these letters.

Even if the recipient believes the letter is real, I suspect that it might be a hoax at that level, too. Law firms don't misspell words and make typos. Well, at least most law firms are business-like, and hire only qualified professionals, and don't hire Mormon family members and little kids to save a buck.

I'm waiting for someone to corroberate this.

exminion Wrote:
Law firms don't misspell words and make
> typos.

LOL there is a typo in the letter that I shared above your comment :P

Looks real to me... if you doubt, call them and ask, but I doubt they will confirm or deny and claim client-attorney privilege.

exminion Wrote:
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> Law firms don't misspell words and make typos.

You haven't read many legal documents, have you?

Law firms employ lots of underpaid and overworked junior associates who do the grunt work, such as writing threatening letters like this.

Important documents get proofread multiple times. Unimportant documents will have misspelled words and typos.

Hah!

Doubting that lawyers make mistakes on their legal documents is particularly amusing today, after yesterday's news about Manafort's court filings!

I better not get one. I share a property border with a church building. Could make a lot of yard maintenance more difficult than necessary.

That info needs to be made public. It makes mormons look rude and nasty.

Snickers, thanks for you patience. I find this difficult to stomach. It's hard to comprehend how nasty the "church of my childhood" really is, and has been, since its beginning.

This just underscores my reasons to stay away, and keep Mormonism put of my life, as much as possible. In a way, this letter reeks of petty vindictiveness. The Mormon cult is trying to bully the recipient, and win a power struggle. The typo errors are indicators of the underlying childishness showing through. It's all a crock!

I hope the recipients of these letters realize that "Church" is just an arrogant Mormon term, for its own little cult, and that all other Real Churches would accept them in their doors.

Aren't Mormons supposed to practice "forgiveness," and to work to help others repent of their sins, as per the teachings of Jesus Christ? No, only victims like myself, are bound to "forgive", especially when their abusers are Mormons.

I was condemned by "The Church" for not kicking Mormon trespassers out of my home. There weren't being merely "disruptive"--they were outright abusing my children, right in front of me! Instead of being supported for protecting my children, I was shunned and maligned by gossip.

The Mormon cult IS RUDE AND NASTY. Why do I always expect Mormons to be any better than what they are?

I do have to admit that not all letters are like the one I shared, they are more on the mild side, but each does say you are no longer welcome to on church property.

I guess they figure that since you have resigned, and have made it absolutely clear that you plan on remaining an apostate, they don't want you there. You can't be rehabilitated, and you are simply a liability, a ticking time bomb, that could blow at any moment.

For the comment above about people "watching" for apostates... I don't think it's like that, I bet it was a directive put out from the top to the leadership only, to watch for such people and report them to the stake. Then, after a while, they get their KM letter.

This should come as no surprise, as many things that happen in the church are done in secret.

Kirton McConkie has also recently gotten involved in the resignations that the lawyer (for the exmo community) handles. His resignations must now be forwarded to KM before they are processed, resulting in a backup. The Mormon church is now achieving a new level of crazy. If they simply left people alone who *want* to be left alone, no one would need to use a lawyer or even resign.

First time I have heard of such a thing

The church will resort to any means to prevent members from being exposed to what they consider unfavorable information.

Controlling information allows them to control the members. I guess non-believing members in the ranks waters down the cool-aid.

They attempt to control what the public sees on the internet as well. When I google (actually duck duck go) "recovery from Mormonism" a bunch of church-co adds lead the list of choices such as "meet the missionaries" and other such pro-Mormon sites.

I would love the news organizations to get hold of these uncharitable letters.

Posted by: Elder Berry: "Try attending in drag.".

Talk about seeing men in drag, I live within a 30 minute drive to downtown Hollywood.

It's very sad to see visitors of Hollywood as they find out it is not at all glamorous. All kinds of people clutter the sidewalks, men in drag (lots of makeup on, high heels and all--hoping to be noticed), and hucksters of all kinds.

For instance, they offer to take a picture of the tourists, who readily give them their camera, and the next thing they know, they no longer have a camera, and the kindly gentleman has disappeared.

Doesn't surprise me one bit. Corporations like to enforce their rights.

Snickers Wrote:
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> I was speaking with one gal (resigned) who said
> she just attended with her TBM children, and she
> said nothing... kept quiet in all meetings... and
> still received a certified KM letter a few months
> later.


But, in the church's view, she was "saying" a pile of things by continuing to have a normal life instead of suffering all the horrible things they say happen to those who leave the church. Her silent contentment exposes the church's lies.

I went to my grandchild's baptism, which was a huge mistake, and I won't be going into a Mormon church ever again. My grandchild wanted me to go, and daughter wanted me to help with her two youngest children who were both at awkward ages. The baby wouldn't let anyone else hold her, except for me and her mother, so I wrestled with a crying baby, and took her in and out several times.

I thought all those dirty looks were about the crying baby! Now, I understand they were directed at me! I knew that the shunning was bad--but I had no idea of the level of hatred they have towards ex-Mormons who resign. I am not kidding--some Mormon ward members won't even look at me or speak to me, at all.

I never said anything, when I left. No one ever asked me why I left. Their prophet told them why people leave, so why would they ask me?

I did go to a viewing, at the ward, before a funeral of a very close Mormon friend, and the sister of the deceased looked at me sharply, and said, "What are you doing here."

I was going to take dinner to a Mormon neighbor, who broke her leg. She used to be my VT, used to be my friend, our children used to play together over here at my house. I haven't had a conversation with her, since I resigned 10 years ago, though we wave and say, "Hello," across the street. Our last conversations was her asking me, "What did we do to make you so offended that you would quit the church?" Those exact words.

Another Mormon neighbor told me not to bring them dinner, because other members were scheduled by the RS.

Now, I'm wondering what to do....

Probably, it's best to have nothing at all to do with Mormons, because the cult is in charge of their lives. It's obvious that they want nothing to do with me, now. Time to stop living in the past. They're not my friends, today.

Afraid of Mormons Wrote:
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> "What did we do to make you so offended that you
> would quit the church?"

I'm not the world's nicest person, so if someone had asked me that I might've answered, "Well, among other things, asking clueless, stupid questions like that."

So what happens when a recipient of one of these letters later decides to "repent" and re-join the church? Will they be arrested for attempting to "repent" of their sins? Is resignation/ex-communication now considered an unpardonable sin as an attempt to "repent" will result in criminal prosecution from the church?

... put your hands behind your back!

Afraid,

thank you for sharing your story. Very sad this happened to you with people you thought were friends.

Time to find new friends, I think. Good luck.

Yes, Afraid, you answered your own question. I love that!

I have had similar experiences, and it hurts to be treated like a criminal, when you are a good person. (I wear appropriate clothes, a skirt for funerals, no alcohol or drugs or coffee, I'm moral and honest, polite, friendly, etc.) I like your idea that trying to salvage relationships with Mormons who are shunning you, is "living in the past."

But I would add that it is also "living in denial." Those people were never your real friends, in the first place--otherwise you would still be friends now! They're still your neighbors, that you would normally see, coming and going, and share part of your life with. Your waving neighbor was only an assigned friend, your assigned VT.

I physically avoid Mormons. Every time I have an encounter with a zealous fanatic, I get burned.

Your situation with your neighbor with the broken leg has become weird and cult-controlled. Normally, you would be the good neighbor and bring her dinner right away, which she could save and re-heat later, or whenever she needed it, or you could bring her flowers. But, no, your kindness will be viewed as in inconvenience, something the cult has to schedule, probably something they don't want. They will have to deal with the fact that you are a GOOD PERSON, and not an apostate in outer darkness.

The responsibility is on us ex-Mormons to stick to what's normal, real, and heart-felt. It's up to us to un-complicate our lives, and deal with the scrambled thinking of the Mormons around us.

Do whatever reflects YOU and YOUR VALUES. If the RS sisters think your food is poisoned, and throw it out, that's their decision. Don't do any extra work. You have paid your dues. Give her flowers, but have one of your kids or someone else, take them over to her. You don't want some RS assigned person to answer the door and say, "What are you doing here."

Don't give the Mormons opportunities to be rude to you.