As a Teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood, I had the privilege of preparing the sacrament trays for the Priests to bless. After sacrament meeting we cleared the sacrament table and took the trays and leftover bread to a small room behind the rostrum. Inside the room were some cupboards and a sink. There was also a fan in the ceiling similar to a bathroom fan, but without a cover. While cleaning up we often rolled the leftover bread into little balls and threw them into the fan. The fan would shoot the bread balls up to wherever the vent went. I can only imagine a pile of bread balls on the roof of that LDS chapel in Southern California. The birds must have loved it.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2019 03:27PM by Leaving.

As a deacon and teacher we sometimes had sleepovers inside the church. I heard AC/DC for the first time at one of them and played my first game of poker (strip) there. Also along these lines we would streak through the chapel, hallways, rooms etc. all the while the leader slept.

I've been buck naked standing at the pulpit.

^^^

the seeds of apostasy is strong with this one ~

I thought it was pretty big apostacy until I went to the temple...

OMG...that is the funniest thing I have ever heard...LMAO..."buck naked at the pulpit".

....this is the best of the day. Thanks, Elder Berry

In high school, our Explorer Scouts built our own kayaks according to plans from Popular Science, and went down the Colorado River from Davis Dam to Lake Havasu. At one camp, one of the boys accidentally stepped into our camp fire with bare feet, and badly burned one of them. Well, Mormon scout leaders are notoriously unprepared, and we didn't have a proper first aid kit. They went to give the kid a blessing so that Jeebus would heal him, but all the leaders had forgotten their so-called "consecrated oil." So, the next day when we were near Needles (a real town--look it up), two leaders hitchhiked all the way into town to buy a small bottle of Pompeian olive oil, and hitchhiked back, just to give the kid a blessing. They never got proper first aid or medical care for the kid, but having the olive oil was absolutely paramount.

Oh. My. God!

Leaving failed to tell you the rest of his story. Here it is.....

Southern California birds, partaking of the blessed sacrament bread soon started their own bird-brain branch. Many other lucky birds were converted, and that is why if you travel to Southern California today and you listen with your whole-heart, having real intent and enough faith, you will hear them thar birds all tweet in unison, "I Know That My Redeemer Lives".

My own true-tall-tale pales in comparison to the stories that have been shared but will share anyway.

The day is a Saturday and I am the apostate Nana attending my grandson's scout Eagle Ceremony. I dutifully get an okeedokee on what is appropriate apparel to wear, head late to the LDS church which is in a very prestigious part of town, and slide late into my seat next to grandson's parents in the chapel of the church.

Hmmm, I think for about a half second....chapel, huh?, my two sons' eagle ceremonies (I think) were in the amusement hall.

The meeting proceeds, and suddenly, a real live magnificent eagle is part of the meeting, I am amazed, pulling out my camera to capture it all. I snap a couple of shots and then feel a real freeze fill the whole room with my daughter trying to get my attention away from the amazing eagle long enough to tell me what a faux pas I have made.

This was bad enough, but what was even worse was that after the meeting ended and refreshments was the next course, I was avoided like I was carrying a rattlesnake with not one person assuring me that I would not be sent to hell for my actions in their CHAPEL.

Mormons don't miss an opportunity to give someone the stink-eye.
But--it was OK to bring a live eagle into the chapel?

They glared at you because you followed the Truth and escaped. Maybe some of them are jealous of your courage. You probably looked too happy, too proud of your grandson, and too good in your outfit.

Mormons don't like to see apostates being at all successful.

IMO, I think you can FEEL resentment and "bad vibes" as some people call that oppressive feeling of despair in Mormon churches. Some people can smell it. It's the same bad energy that makes little kids cry in there!

It's true! I've heard it myself!

I had a seminary teacher who told us that as a young aaronic priesthood holder, one night he was visited in his bedroom by an evil spirit. He and the spirit physically wrestled with each other until dawn when, out of sheer exhaustion, he raised his arm to the square and cast the evil spirit out.

With the rest of class so silent you could hear a pin drop, I raised my hand and asked, “So when you woke up from your dream, who won the wrestling match? You or your pillow?” The class erupted in loud laughter. When I followed that question up with, “Why didn’t you just raise your arm to the square in the beginning and save yourself a night of getting your ass kicked?”….he threw me out of the class. Haaaa haaaa. Good times.

ROFLMAO!!!

My Bishop in the Hollywood Ward once came into our classroom and informed us to remo e the crust from the cheap white bread before breaking the Sacrament.

I never found out the reason. Even Google is clueless to this day. But he seemed to be sure that it was doctrinal, or maybe passed down from an anal Apostle who had too much time on his hands.

when I was a teenager in the 60's the county sheriff (a mormon guy) went into the adult gospel doctrine class and arrested a member who was sitting in the class. There was a lot of commotion in the class as they left. Much discussion ensued about honoring and sustaining the law and such. Later, it was revealed that the whole thing was staged by the teacher as an object lesson. It was talked about for years in that ward.

my First skinny-dipping experience was at a church-sponsored BSA hike.

Trout Lake on the Foss River, east of Skykomish, WA.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2019 07:09PM by GNPE.

When I first started mutual it was on a Wednesday night. Most mutual nights they couldn’t get any adult leaders to show up... so it was conducted by the janitor and we were excused to go to the recreation room. This was an old meetinghouse. Things would get out of hand pretty fast. I do remember a jockstrap being flung around. And loud music on an 8 track tape. And kids making out in the basement. Poor janitor. Good times lol

please tell us your definition / usage for your term 'making out', its use varies Widely, ya know...

Let Go Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do
> remember a jockstrap being flung around.

Was this first worn before being flung?

I believe it was a Christmas party and everyone brought a white elephant gift... the jockstrap the music and the disappearing kids to the basement. May have been late 60’s early 70’s. I got quite the education in mutual that night lol I didn’t attend much after that... kinda scared me. Out of control.

As a pubescent adolescent at MIA one night, I was roaming the halls while the rest of the young women were in the kitchen cooking. While passing by the kitchen I whipped out my pepper spray and sprayed a good couple of sprays into the crack in the shutters between the hallway and the semi-wall windows adjoining the room.

The girls and women thought they'd mixed the wrong concoction of spices that night, as they ran out of the kitchen coughing. They had to evacuate. I was off hiding somewhere.

Later the next week or two at school I whipped out my pepper spray and was demonstrating how it worked in history class to one of my friends, while the teacher had stepped out for a moment. Next thing we knew the history class had to be evacuated.

Word got back to the bishop's wife what had happened at junior high, and she put one and one together. She met me in the principal's office at junior high and made me hand over the pepper spray with a full confession of what happened at MIA previously.

My mom had bought that for me for protection on a genealogy trip we'd been on the summer before. I didn't realize how potent it was until it landed me in HOT WATER. Thankfully no one was seriously injured or became ill, but they could have been.

Having to evacuate the kitchen at MIA though because of mixing spices up? I thought that was priceless.

I once heard of the tale about Joseph Smith the con man. The rest is history. A rather sad story.

I taught my children to think for themselves and to have a sense of humor. My son Kelly was in Sunday School class one fine Sunday when the teacher asked the class "what is the most important thing that has ever happened in the history of the world?" The class had about 20 13-14 year old students, mostly young women. Of course, the right answer was something along the lines of the birth of Jesus, the atonement, Joseph Smith etc. My son held his hand up, the teacher called on him and he said: "The most important thing that has ever happened in the history of the world was the invention of the THONG!" He did not mean the thongs you wear on your feet either. The young women laughed, the boys strongly agreed, and the teacher turned red and was speechless. THAT'S MY BOY!

During the final months that my family was in the cult, my 15-year old daughter went to the stake young women's conference, held at a local college (i.e. dorm room's, etc). My daughter was already hating Mormonism by that point, and was so glad that we were leaving, but she went to the conference because her Mormon girlfriends talked her in to it. All of the stake would eat their meals in the college cafeteria, where evil was present in the form of coffee machines, pitchers of iced tea, etc. In other words, the cafeteria had not been Mormonized. My daughter went to the coffee machine, poured a large cup of coffee, and went back to her table to partake. She describes a "silent hush" came over the cafeteria, as the stake leaders and all of the young women in the stake stared at her in utter horror. She didn't miss a beat. She just kept drinking the evil bean brew, smiling all the while, and kept repeating, "OMG this is so good...especially w/ the mocca..."

The stake leaders immediately gathered in the center of the cafeteria in a circle to discuss this act of blatant apostacy, they kept looking back at my daughter (who kept drinking the coffee). Soon the leaders embraced each other in a prayer circle, and one of them began to pray. Then one leader broke away from the group, approached my daughter, and said, "Sister Johnson, we need you to put down the cup, and stop drinking the coffee. You agreed to follow the word of wisdom in your Bishop's interview before you came, and we expect you to show a good example and live according to the gospel." My daughter replied, "Uh..you need to try this..it's so good...nope I like it, I am going to keep drinking it."

Very brave for your daughter to go against the yw peer pressure!

Bravo!

I had one of those busy callings, like the one that every TBM looks for when he/she wants an appointment to meet the bishop for an interview. I was walking down the empty hallway and I had a lot of flatulence from last night's chili beans. With nobody in sight, silent farts popped out. Then the sunday school bell rang and the hallway became full of people. I tried to evade the scene of the crime, but a sister grabbed my arm and started babbling about what days she could/could not come in for an interview.

I wasn't paying much attention to the lady, but the faces of members were somewhat rewarding! Everybody in the hall was in utter disgust. Wrinkling of noses, the waving of hands. It smelled god-awful; even for mormon standards.

A sister that had recently had a baby called out to her hubby that was holding the wrapped bundle of joy. "Check the baby!" He pulled down the diaper and shouted back "It's not the baby."

anon 4 this one Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> and shouted back "It's not the baby."

LMAO!

> > and shouted back "It's not the baby."


hahahahahahahahah!!!!!

This is priceless! Still laughing.

When my uncle was a teenager he and his buddy dropped an M80 into a toilet at the old Santa Monica ward building. The explosion caused the toilet to come off its base. His father (my grandfather) was the bishop at the time.

forester Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When my uncle was a teenager he and his buddy dropped an M80 into a toilet at the old Santa Monica ward building. The explosion caused the toilet to come off its base. His father (my grandfather) was the bishop at the time.

Do you know which Santa Monica ward building? I grew up in the building on Centinela Ave. My father was the Bishop there for a while as well (Yes, I was a "Son of a Bish").

Regardless of which building, if this occurred pre-1980, I would probably know everyone who was involved.

It was in the early 60's when that happened. I don't know what street the building was on but it was a really cool Cali mission style with a red tiled roof and patio. The chapel was like a small amphitheater. I know it was torn down in the 90's and rebuilt in a modern but ugly style.

I used to go the old Inglewood stake center on Sepulveda before it was torn down and rebuilt. There used to be some really cool church buildings with stained glass and wrought iron in So. Cal. So sad they are gone.

One Sunday a few years ago, we had an interesting sacrament meeting. Before this particular Sunday, the families who were assigned to speak in sacrament meeting were allowed to bring "visual aids". The kids spoke, then the mom and then the dad spoke and while he was speaking, he brought out his visual aids which had been hidden under their seats. It was an assortment of shotguns and rifles! I don't remember what the subject was or how it tied in with the rifles, but I sure remember the "visual aids" to this day.