Date: February 09, 2019 08:23PM
Yours is a difficult question to answer. My sister hasn't officially left Mormonism and she will not tell me if she still believes in it or not. But she joined an Evangelical church where she gets lots of sympathy for her financial difficulties. I think her Mormon friends knew too much about her and our family for her taste. That is to say they knew me, and Mom and we were not horrible. She likes to blame her family for all her problems, especially our mother who has done nothing but help her out all of her life. Sis's life is a financial, emotional, health disaster. Everything in her eyes is our (Mom's and mine) fault. I only returned to town to care for our mother because sis wouldn't even take Mom to her doctor's appointments. I knew when I came home this kind of crazy stuff would start again. It's the main reason I moved away. But Mom needs me and I'm just not used to dealing with sis all that often any more.
I have no idea what set off my sister on that simple comment. I do know she is jealous that I own my own home, car, etc. and am successful enough in my career to retire early and come to help Mom. She has declared bankruptcy and has nothing, not even a car due to her spending addiction. I think that it bugs her that I even exist and by simply existing I make her look like a failure. Sibling rivalry? Maybe. So ANYTHING I say or do basically ticks her off. She doesn't seem to want me having any interaction with her kids. I think she tells them all kinds of things about me that aren't true and if they actually get to know me they might see me for who I really am. I've caught her telling her kids untrue things about me when they were little so it has probably been going on for years now.
I only have you guys to vent. Thanks.
Date: February 11, 2019 02:37PM
Pooped, I totally know how annoying it is to deal with narcissists, especially family members. It's funny you posted now,because as of Saturday, I decided to do a modest facebook page. I have avoided fb all this time, just because its a little too out there for me. So, I reconnected with some people I had missed, and made the stupid, stupid mistake of talking to a cousin whom I had not spoken with in years because of her narcissism. Growing up she made my life miserable at every opportunity. She is 6 years older than I am, so I thought, we are old. Maybe she has mellowed out. Heeeeeeeeeell no! She quickly moved to say rude stuff to me, etc. Dont know what I was thinking! Her sister is a sweet person, and I love her.
So my condolences, pooped for that unpleasant encounter! Jealousy may be a leading factor there. She is probably so afraid you will outshine her. (as if there is a competition of some kind.)
Date: February 13, 2019 10:34AM
I hated living with them growing up and I didn't want to have daughters because of my experience with my sisters. We got along better once we didn't have to live together, but in the last 15 years or so, we've had a lot of problems (more after our parents died).
Since my daughter's wedding, I have determined that I can be kind to them, but still keep my distance. I sent my older sister a birthday gift and I'm going to drop off something to my younger sister tomorrow for Valentine's Day, but I don't have to be buddies with them. I don't even have to talk to them.
My dad always hoped we'd be friends again before he died, BUT then after my mom died, he told me I needed to stay far away from them. You can have distance and still show some caring without going to lunch with them. I haven't been to lunch in YEARS with either of my sisters. I have just made the mistake of being friends on fb and talking to them. No longer.