Date: February 11, 2019 01:50AM
Rumor has it, according to my perennially unreliable sources, that when President Nelson was born, he was given the middle name "Mormon." "Russell Mormon Nelson" was his original birth name.
He was reportedly teased about it as a young child and begged his parents to change the name. As a joke, his parents changed the middle name to "Marion".
"Gee, thanks a lot! Marion is a much better name FOR A BOY!" he reportedly shouted at his parents in a heated exchange that was overheard by neighbors. As he slammed the door and stormed out of the family's home, Russell Mormon Nelson noticed that the sound of the door slamming had caused "Shiz" (the family's pet chihuahua) to go into cardiac arrest. Young Russell acted quickly and somehow managed to revive the dog by massaging the dog's chest. This experience helped set Young Nelson on the path to his future career in medicine and gave him the perspective needed to be at peace with his new middle name "Marion".
Well, long story short, according to the rumor, his parents were successful in getting his original middle name ("Mormon") expunged from all the records and replaced with the name "Marion."
I asked my enduringly unreliable sources if they had any proof that this rumor was true. Their response: "Have you seen how much the guy hates the name 'Mormon'? Where do you think that comes from?"
I had no good answer.