Date: March 04, 2019 12:14AM
Most of us exmormons look back and think, "I should have left long before I did." But that is hindsight. I didn't know that the Mormons were abusing my children! My little ones were threatened not to tell anyone. I, too, played the piano, and also the organ, so I was needed. I also had another calling, as Cub Scout den mother.
Like someone here suggested, I stayed in the cult to please my parents and in-laws, and chose to ignore JS and all his lies and misdemeanors. I read the BOM of 7 times, and never believed it. I wanted my marriage to work, and my family to stay together, so I kept my mouth shut. I was very unhappy on Sundays and with trying to make friends with people with weird superstitions and skewed morals, and cruel, authoritarian methods of raising children. Church was the only bad thing in our life. I loved volunteering in the children's schools, and sports teams, and playing the piano for school programs, etc--but disliked playing for the Mormon church. The whole vibe of the place was negative and oppressive. Three hours of me thinking, "Get. us. Out. Of. Here."
I guess you can be patient, and wait for something to happen, like I did. Pray to God that what happens is NOT having Mormon leaders break into your house and kick and shove and slap your children around, and force them to go to church, when they were too tired and ill to attend. Pray that the bishop's creepy oldest son doesn't try to molest your little girl in her sleeping bag during a church campout. And when something does happen, pray that your children will not cave in to the threats, and cower into silence, until several years later. When my children finally did tell me, I immediately said, "We don't ever have to go there again." We didn't.
My husband confessed that he had not believed, since our wedding. He was afraid of his TBM mother, and rightly so! She was a hysterical fanatic, and would grab her heart, and scream for her husband, and start to faint, if anyone said anything at all negative about her cult. When we left, my cowardly husband blamed ME for everything, and she set about to break up our marriage. She and my FIL didn't care about our children. It was a dysfunctional Mormon family, without love.
My husband and I left, with the children, and my MIL continued on to outlive everyone else. My husband's father committed suicide, and my MIL became well enough to drive, and take care of herself--it was a miracle. She did not faint when her other son left the cult, and when most of her other grandchildren left the cult.
Yes, you could wait, until several of your husband's family members, and/or some of your TBM friends leave--and escape as a group. There's safety in numbers. It's much harder being the first one in your family to leave.
Be patient...your successful, and easy escape is just around the corner. By "easy", I mean your husband and family will probably adjust to you. But, there's no way the evil cult is going to make it easy for you! Just don't allow them to intimidate and bully you! Get a police restraining order, if necessary. Threaten to sue them for slander. I had to kick Mormons out of my house several times, yelling, "Put my child down!"
or "Stop shoving my child! "You are trespassing and attacking my children! I'm calling the police!" They always ran out the door, before I could get the police on the phone. My children witnessed these altercations, and were proud of my courage, and it only made us closer as a family. It also made me SURE that leaving that horrible cult was the right thing to do. My case was extreme, and for you, it might be easier. For me, my husband and my TBM parents understood and supported us. There's no way you can predict the future, or exactly how things will turn out--but there comes a time when you must do what you must do.
Good luck to you. Have courage!