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Posted by: Gheco ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 01:19AM

Charlie Sheen, Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, or Trump?

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 01:52AM

Jesus would be the best addition to the church leadership. But he is neither a lawyer nor "church broke," so he wouldn't stand a chance.

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Posted by: William Law ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 03:57AM

Not to mention he has a blue collar job. His hands aren't soft like the hands of a dentist or financial adviser; it'd a dead giveaway when shaking paws.

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Posted by: William Law ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 03:58AM

Crying Glenn Beck

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 04:24AM

He completed his degree through a correspondence program about 5 years ago.

When he took the bar exam, some clerk tried to disqualify him on the basis that he didn't get his JD from a properly accredited university. But God threatened the clerk with a mighty smitey thing, and the clerk said "okay, in this one case, we'll let the JD be thought of as a 'Jesus Degree' equivalent to or better than a Juris Doctor degree."

Jesus and God smiled. And Jesus went out to get some new name cards printed up.

Last I heard, he tried to get a job with Kirton McConkie using Dallin Oaks as a reference. But when the managing partner called up Oaks, he was told that Oaks had never met the guy. According to my sources, Oak subsequently sent an e-mail to Kirton McConkie telling them that "if it's that dirty, long-haired hippy guy who's been hanging out in the lobby here at the COB, you should just call the police, otherwise he'll stink the place up trying to give free fish and bread to everyone."

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Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 01:41PM

Wally, you crack me up. I bray to gawd that you fulfill your density of posting here for time and all eternity.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 01:21AM

you may be interested in.

I looked further into the Oaks-Jesus angle (not angel) and it turns out that Oaks was lying. He met Jesus many years ago. That was when Oaks was still practicing law. Apparently, Jesus visited him late at night, when Oaks was working on some briefs (because Oaks liked to wear briefs over his temple garments).

Anyhow, Jesus reportedly told Oaks that he (Jesus) saw some potential for good in Oaks and wanted to help Oaks do good deeds in his law practice.

But Jesus told Oaks that he would only help out with pro bono cases.

Oaks responded by asking: "Do you mean Sonny or the U2 guy?"

Jesus shook his head and walked out, saying: "I was wrong about you Oaks!"

Oaks has apparently held a grudge against Jesus ever since.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 02:24AM

Is that the carpenter's son? Oh we can't have him. He understands nothing about running a multi-billion dollar corporation.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 02:24AM

I would, But: the rest wouldn't sustain me as members of their club;

My Plans:

rename it to .....


Core essentials: Good Samaritan, Golden Rule.

scripture: New Testament

finances: Disclosed, subject to member approval.

Women: 'Affirmative Action'!

Services: Community Compassion, Charity. Community dinners, after-school tutoring.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 04:27AM

three or four Kardashians in the quorum. Expand it if necessary. Kardashians = relevance, something the LSD Church has been running out of in recent years.

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Posted by: macaRomney ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 08:17AM

Cosby would be entertaining. That's what the inner city needs is more activist leaders who tell young men to pull your pants up! stand up straight! stop selling that dope! And get a job, boy!

It was a sad day when he got locked up for being a pervert. But I"m sure they'll let "America's Dad" out soon.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 10:48AM

Chocolate pudding for sacrament.

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 09:34AM

I vote for Martha Stewart.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 09:58AM

Any of the three Nephites.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 10:46AM

Revelation via weekend tweet storm instead of General Conference would be exciting

“We are withdrawing all missionaries from Europe. Way overrated, low quality wines, losers. Sad”

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 11:08AM

I believe Wally Prince would be outstanding, but only if he has a middle initial.

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Posted by: rocomop ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 11:37AM

Elder Wallace D. Prince, of the Twelve.

...goosebumps!!!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 12:24PM

I was thinking "D" as well. But why not

Wallace D'Prince?

I mean, the church is changing fast right now. Take your vitamins!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 12:34PM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 12:36PM

Because that begs the question "who is Wally's Prince?

We here know the answer, EB, but most people in the church have never heard of you.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 04:27PM

Love it. But only when I'm among men.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 01:35AM

up for it...simultaneously.

But I think the initial should come first. Like L. Tom Perry, J. Reuben Clark, N.Eldon Tanner and so on...

We don't see enough of that anymore even though it is stylistically a superior way to go.

As luck would have it, my full name is Profette Walter Prince, Jr. the Fourth. (Childhood nickname: "Puff Wally")

But you can call me "P. Walter Prince" after I am anointed as an apostle.

I pledge that when I rise through the ranks and ultimately become the PPSR (President, Prophet, Seer and Revelator), I will convert the temples into sacred "bath and spa" sanctuaries...

Nelson didn't give up on his dream (eradicating the "Mormon" nickname). And I'm not going to give up on mine (twenty large jacuzzi/hot tub units in every temple, each supported by twelve oxen--preferable in statue form--and thirty-three massage booths in every Celestial Room).

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 10:48AM

P. Walter Prince I do believe that In time your popularity will outshine even J. Golden Kimball.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 10:54AM


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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 11:10AM

Last time this topic came up someone suggested Gladys Knight. Good suggestion.

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Posted by: You Too? ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 12:51PM

Carol Lynn Pierson

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 01:35PM

I think the church could use Lindsay Lohan in the YW Presidency.

"I hate it when people call me a teen queen"

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Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 01:55PM

Since all things are possible, I'd absolutely love to see Boyd the Packer revived and placed on the throne of gawd. He would surely set this church on the straight and narrow in a hurry, and give us some entertainment value. But, if the worms have done a number on Boyd, then I'd love to see Uchdorfy take the wheel and undo everything Rusty has done. Revenge would be sweet for the silver haired lady's man. Bednar would lose that smirk, and Oaks would be put back on second string.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 25, 2019 02:41AM

more than ever nowadays. It's of course very self-serving. The more freedom the living prophet has to disregard and ignore inconvenient things taught, preached and promoted by previous prophets, the more freedom the living prophet has to do whatever he wants.

But as they emphasize this "principle" more and more, I can see it backfiring. If the current living prophet is all that, the next living prophet is going to be all that AND MORE.

So to somewhat rational young Mormons, it may eventually seem like a safer bet not to make any major life decisions based on what the current living prophet is saying because the NEXT LIVING PROPHET may turn it all upside down. So, definitely, the wiser course of action is to ignore the current living prophet and wait to see what the NEXT LIVING PROPHET has to say.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 04:23PM

I would!! Of course!!

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Posted by: Hockeyrat ( )
Date: March 20, 2019 04:51PM

Someone between the age of 40-70’s. Of course, they can be younger or older, depending on how qualified they are. If they’re of a certain age, a competent test.
Also someone who does their own thinking, no more “ next in line” stuff.

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Posted by: Kentish ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 09:49AM

Donald J.Trump. He is old enough and certainly would relish the adoration of the membership without saying anything of significance and he could indulge his fantasies without criticism.

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Posted by: perky ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 11:06AM

Excluding 1/2 the population without a penis, he could chose one of 3.5 billion people to run his true chruch.

But, as we know, since its LDS Inc, not a true chruch, God always chooses church broke, 60 plus, white guy, business men who know how to correlate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/21/2019 11:06AM by perky.

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Posted by: felix ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 12:58PM

Three come to mind; Roger Hendrix, Greg Prince and Richard Bushman. All would be new order Mormons as all have expressed their doubts about the foundational claims and all three have an in depth knowledge of church history.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 01:32PM

Wendy!

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 03:32PM

no, no, and no LB. Wendy has already had this job. If you think Rusty is in charge, think again.

My vote goes to Garfield. The cult definitely needs to lighten up and have some fun.

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Posted by: Not2day ( )
Date: March 21, 2019 07:55PM

You will now heAR from Elder C. Jack Mehoff

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: March 25, 2019 02:56AM

George Carlin. I'd watch GC for that.

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Posted by: William Law ( )
Date: March 25, 2019 12:54PM

William Barr

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 25, 2019 01:16PM

Robert Kirby. He would be perfect.

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 04:40PM

I wouldn't mind getting Trump a new job--but Mike Pence...the evangelical David Bednar...hmm...have to think about that...

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Posted by: anon2day ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 06:14PM

Warren Jeff’s. He has spent his whole life mimicking Joseph Smith.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: March 27, 2019 08:33PM

A post hole.

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Posted by: lachesis ( )
Date: March 28, 2019 11:06AM

Well, the Jello spokesman of course. What? Like his being a sexual predator is something that's supposed to disqualify him?

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