Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: March 27, 2019 04:37PM
Welcome to RFM, Punkfruit.
I was going to give you the same advice, but the other posters beat me to it: You don't have to tell your parents about your sexuality, unless you feel like you need to, for your own personal reasons.
Your main issue is that you are not going to go on a mission. Period.
Most of us here on RFM used to be Mormons, and most of us have had gay and bi-sexual people in our lives. We have all had to endure bishops' "worthiness interviews" in which we were interrogated about our sex life. Most of us agree that a person's sexuality is their own business, and certainly not any of the church's business. Being bi- will not get you out of going on a mission! Like one poster said, your parents and bishop (and everyone else in the Mormon gossip pool) will think you are going through some sort of "phase." They will preach abstinence to you. They will tell you that a mission (and marriage) will cure you! That's right! If anything, your parents will be even MORE determined to send you on a mission.
The main, most important issue here is that you have decided NOT to go on a mission. You don't owe anyone an explanation! A mission is a volunteer job. Volunteer. It's not mandatory. Mormons might only manipulate you, shame you, shun you, malign your character to others, threaten you, even abuse you--but they can not force you to go on a mission. You are an adult. You live in America, and you have rights!
That said, I have several Mormon neighbors, here in SLC, who dis-owned their children, because they would not go on a mission! This is one of many reasons we feel that Mormonism is an evil cult. One Mormon neighbor couple has a grandson who is a college basketball star, and the neighbors have never seen him play. They have never even met him! We know people who know the grandson, and he's a wonderful person. This is tragic. I'm glad you are prepared to go out on your own, if necessary. Most Mormon parents I know are reasonable people, and, like everyone else in society, are facing new ideas and new solutions every day. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
From what I know, it's better to not argue or debate the facts with Mormons. They have been coached in what canned answers to give you, and then they bear their testimony at you. They know what to say, but have never learned to listen. The poster Decultified wrote: "It's hard for mormons to argue against inspiration, belief, and testimony." Tell (don't ask permission, but calmly TELL) your parents that you are not going on a mission. You might want to give yourself a few years--otherwise, you will have to face being pestered every month, for years, until you cave in, or have to move away. The Mormons do not give up! Right before his mission, a boy in our ward got the stake president's daughter pregnant--but did that get him out of going on his mission? No, the Mormons made him wait for a few months. The girl had the baby, adopted it away through LDS Social Services, and the boy left on his mission, anyway.
My son's friend Seth told his parents, "I'm not going on a mission, because I don't believe the church is true." They argued with him for days, about how a mission would bring his testimony back, and strengthen his faith, and all the arguments you've heard before. He just stuck with his same answer. He didn't say, "I don't think I want to go." He didn't say, "I might go later." He didn't say, "I'm thinking about it, I'm praying about it." No. His decision was made. He was not going. He never attacked his parents or their church. He was always nice and polite about it. His parents put him through college, he married a non-Mormon, had a good career, and is raising his own children as non-denominal Christians. He and his parents are very close.
Love is the answer. (Another main reason people leave the Mormon cult, is that it does not support unconditional love, or the love of Christ.) Love your parents, as you tell them. Love your self, as you stand up for what you believe. Be patient with your parents, as it might take time for them to understand.