Unfortunately it was for a funeral. :-( I have vowed to myself that I will only set foot in a Mormon church building for a funeral and for NO other reason. No more baptisms or baby blessings or Halloween carnivals or fundraisers or whatever. I'm not supporting their scam in any way. However, a funeral is a different story for me. If that's where they're holding it, and it's my only chance to pay my last respects and honor the deceased, then that's my only exception.

A few observations:
There was no burlap on the walls! Thank gawd! This building is newer...built within the last decade.
Some things never change...the bishop 'resides' over the funeral as if he has anything to do with the family. Something about that bothers me...I dunno.
I was really uncomfortable being there because Mormonism bugs me soooo much, but it was an in-law of my sister who died unexpectedly and she was such a wonderful human. I wanted to be there to support the family and my sister. The tributes to her made by the family were beautiful.
I did not want to sing along to the hymns and bow my head in prayer...I'm not a Mormon anymore. It felt unnatural to me. My nevermo hubby didn't sing along or pray along, so why should I?
And a side note: as far as I know, the spouse of the deceased and all of his brothers have resigned, yet this was a very Mormon funeral. They sure did fake it well.

Anyway, just some thoughts of mine being in a Mormon chapel after so many years of not.

Does anyone else have a self-imposed rule of no Mormon buildings/events, save for a funeral?

They don’t have the funerals there in my part of the country. Everything is done at funeral homes. Which are lovely places with plush carpeting oil paintings expensive furniture—-so very different from the chapel.

I will never go back for anything. :)

Mormon funerals can be wrong in so many ways.
Having the Bishop in charge is especially inappropriate when he really didn't know the deceased or the family.
I went to a funeral a while back that was tragic. The deceased had been sexually abused by her father as a young girl. That led her on a path to alcoholism and she eventually ended up as a working girl at house of prostitution in Nevada.
At any rate, she passed away at a fairly young age as a result of alcoholism but was preceded in death by both parents including that abusive father.
So, the clueless Bishop gets up as the final speaker and testifies that because of the plan of salvation he knows there is rejoicing in heaven as this lady is now happily reunited with her parents. ????

Shinehah Wrote:
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> this lady is now happily reunited with her parents. ????

Yes that thing about reuniting forever always seemed so innocent to me, assuming everyone wants to be with their families.

Reality is much messier for some of us!!!

Like you,I have only been back for funerals.
Like Mel, most people here have them in funeral homes.
And the longer that I am "out", the more weird I find to be.

And the more weird I find it to be, the more I wonder how I ever got involved in that $#!+

Organized Chaos Wrote:
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> And the more weird I find it to be, the more I
> wonder how I ever got involved in that $#!+

Yes I can’t understand how I got sucked in either. Temporary insanity on my part plus they have been doing this for a long time and have gotten good at sucking people in. Only thing I can come up with.

I went back for a funeral service. It was great seeing my old friends. The bishop went into some weird plan of salvation stuff that made me feel bad for the living. Being stuck in that insanity can’t be good.

Being back in church would have been fine except for the people. It seems the Kool Aid chuggers are in charge. I think the church will keep dumbing down the doctrine until only the dumb remain.

Mormon chapels are devoid of any personality (O because the people often are?).

It would take me whips & chains to get me inside one...

Well, maybe the right dominatrix.

Did you wear a dress? Did you wear "heels and hose"? What underwear did you wear?

I decided to not go to a Mormon funeral, last month. It was during the work week, and I was going to take a long lunch hour and go, but it was very cold and snowy, and I was wearing pants at work. I don't like to sit next to men at work, and be worried about my skirt riding up over my knees, and all that. I should have brought a long black skirt, and put it on over my pants, but I didn't. It would have taken me over an hour to drive home to change my clothes. When I thought about it--if I was not welcome at that funeral, as a female pants-wearer, I certainly was not welcome there as an "apostate!" I didn't go, but wrote a nice condolence note in the messages section of the funeral home's website.

My cousin is a very busy, important man, who left the cult when he was at BYU. He goes to Mormon funerals, but gets up and leaves when the final Mormon speaker stands up to give the POS (Plan Of Salvation) spiel. Really, that's fine. People figure that maybe he as to hurry to a work appointment or meeting. The final speaker is usually someone from the stake, who never knew the deceased, anyway. If I were a man, that's what I would do, while wearing pants, of course.

I've been in a Mormon church building once, since we resigned. It was not in the chapel, but in the room with the font, for my grandchild's baptism. The ritualism, the whispers, the canned prayers, the smells, the feeling about the place triggered a PTSD flashback. Not worth it. It's hypocritical to appear like I support that cult, or that I would ever go back there.

I wore a black sheer blouse (just in case anyone there was wondering about garments! ha! I've never been through the temple anyway) and a black skirt with tights...it was a freezing day.

But that's what I would wear to any funeral probably.

I was told it started at 10am...got there at least 10-15 minutes early and the family was already walking in and the casket was already closed and in the front of the chapel. It was odd...it felt like we were late. But because of that, I didn't happen to see the viewing portion and see whether she was buried in the hideous temple garb.

My own parents have specifically written into their will that they want to be buried in their temple clothes. When that day comes and I have to see that, I know I will be sick to my stomach. :-(

My mother wanted to be buried in temple clothes, even though she hadn't been to the temple in 18 years, and never wore garments.

I was standing beside her casket, during the casket-closing prayer.

--BTW, this part of the Mormon funeral is for family members only, so, Bluebutterfly, you were not late.

They asked me to cover my mother's face with the veil. I said, "Huh?" They repeated the order. I froze. I could not cover my mother's face! She was always claustrophobic, and she had told me how much it had freaked her out to cover her face in the temple. Ah, my poor mother.... The person in charge became impatient, and asked someone else put the veil on my mother and cover her face. I wouldn't have remembered how to put that contraption onto someone's head, and tie the bow just right.

Mormon men are not buried with their face covered. My TBM father had died two years before, and there was no such ritual--that's why it took me so much by surprise.

The last Catholic funeral that I went to (in a lovely, historic church with beautiful stained-glass windows) included a woman who not only sang beautifully, but who prompted the mourners to do specific actions at given points during the funeral mass. Most of us needed the prompting as we had not been to church in years. I got the feeling that this is a regular gig for her.

The only times I've been inside a LDS building since I've resigned has been for a couple of family funerals inside the Morridor. That was it. Yes, each time the bishop had control over the funeral, except for my brother's last fall. There, the stake president presided, the stake presidency, and then the bishopric. Don't ask me why. My brother was one of the stake high council, if that is the reason why. I don't know.

My parents were both inactive at the time of their deaths, both in the Morridor. Both remarried to other inactive LDS. Although mom and dad had never gotten a temple divorce from each other, their temple recommends lay in ruins like their temple marriage had. Neither one of them had opted for a LDS chapel funeral (thank God for this.) Nonetheless my two TBM brothers had the stroke of brilliance lacking to bury them both in full temple garb. Since the dead can't talk, both parents were subjected to this last TSCC got the final word in even though neither one were asked what they wanted. Controlling damn cult that includes down to the underwear and what they wear to their graves. Sickening.

At least there was no bishop for either mom's or dad's funeral. Except for dad's cousins who he grew up with (former bishop and bishopric.) Brothers who came from 60 miles and 120 miles away to be there. They both spoke at his funeral because they were like brothers with my dad, growing up. They remained close for life. And they were "double first cousins." My grandpa's sister was their grandma. And grandma's brother was married to that sister. :)

Their families moved together from Wyoming to Idaho when my dad was only seven years old. They all came from pioneer stock, in the days before automobiles. So, they moved by covered wagon. The year was 1924. Automobiles were around, but poor farming Mormon families didn't have such luxuries and still lived like their pioneer parents did for a time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/30/2019 02:45AM by Amyjo.

Did you notice an odd odor ?

Sulphur? Hehehe

The last time I was in an LDS building of any kind was November 2006 for the funeral of my step-dad. Before that was January 1992 for the blessing of my youngest nephew. Prior to that was in 1978/79 when I made my last ditch effort to be a TBM of some sort in San Diego.

I resigned by letter in 1992 in SLC. I had the usual letter from the bishop. BUT, my TBM brother recently informed me that I am still listed as a member and he gave me my membership number.

Sigh...…..

I did have 2 friends in my neighborhood who died in the last year and I didn't go to the funerals. I had seen the one I was closest to within the week of her death. I had visited her for a while at the nursing home she was in. So I chose not to go.

Last November, I had an aunt die who was 91 and then her daughter died 12 days later of cancer. My aunt had lived in the same home for almost 70 years, but then had moved to the nursing home for a few years. The church would not allow her to have her funeral in the ward she had attended all those years and paid tithing to as she wasn't a member at the time. She had moved in with her daughter while waiting to sell her house to move into a nursing home, so her membership had been moved. Then the ward she lived in with her daughter also wouldn't let her have her funeral there, so they had it at the mortuary. Then the daughter had her funeral at the stake center.

I agree. The mortuaries are a better place to have a funeral. I was concerned when my mother died about where my dad would choose to have it. He wasn't all that active mormon, but my mom was pretty active most of her life and I was afraid he would choose to have it at the church. My mother and I had both talked about what we wanted and we both agreed we wanted a graveside service. My dad told me my mother had told him that and so that is what he chose, but it snowed, so we had it at the mortuary. Then 2 months later, we had his at the same mortuary. The bishop was only given a short few moments to talk.

Then all my aunts and uncles have had their's at an lds church. There is a drastic difference in the funerals. It is depressing. My sister and ex always get up and leave when the bishop gets up to speak.

I only go in to mormon buildings if I have a reason. Taking part in a religious ceremony is not a reason to me.

You weren't reconverted by the eulogy/conversion push?

Haha, no. I'm happy to report that I'm 100% immune to Mormonism now. :-D

I'm amazed that there weren't burlap walls. I remember seeing it the first time when the church built a new stake center in the 1980s. Boy, did I hate that stuff. I was always bumping into that thistle-like material. I usually had scratches and cuts. It was as if someone had found out how to profit from the yellow star-thistle.

What was really bad was that the church installed that crummy wall covering when they remodeled an older chapel. The church could have fixed the high steps with a ramp, but no they put that clothing destroying fabric wall.