Date: June 01, 2019 03:28PM
I wanted to let you know: I DID report the "Dazed and Confused" "f**-you" post to the moderators, immediately.
For whatever reason, the mods did not remove the post. I waited around a day and a half and when the post was still up, stated my opinion that Dazed owed you an apology.
It was my understanding that hurling schoolyard profanities was against Board guidelines. Since I was then subjected to the same profanity from a long-time poster for stating my opinion that "Dazed" owed you an apology, apparently I misunderstood the Guidelines.
I support the mods, I am sure they have their reasons.
I agree with Hockeyrat and Crispin, written posts lack the nuance of real-life discussions.
Cheryl, all your posts were thoughtful and considerate. There was nothing 'harsh' about anything, unless the OP just didn't like your view and decided cursing at you was the best response.
I enjoy your postings, Cheryl, I thought your views had merit. I agree that saying 'sorry' doesn't take responsibility, but it is a nice first step to acknowledge fault.
The whole episode left a very bad taste in my mouth. Life is hard enough without getting cursed out by people you don't even know.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2019 06:09PM by mel.
Date: June 01, 2019 05:15PM
Hi Cheryl. Yes, that happened to me here recently. I was shocked at how vociferous the comeback was from one poster who had obviously completely misunderstood what I was saying. True enough it was an especially sensitive topic, eliciting strong gut reactions, especially from survivors. But it was my own thread and I had used a recent news story to contrast/compare/equate similar negative experiences. It was one of those 'this is like that' type of discussions and obviously I did not mean to dismiss the one issue for the sake of the other. It bothered me that a poster here thought I would do that. I don't think I come across as particularly insensitive, as they railed at me for being. But that was their reaction to my post and it's somewhat out of our control how people interpret what we say. All I can do is exercise care in how I state my opinions or feelings and then let it fly.
I find it instructive and helpful to see similarities in different events or circumstances - one may gain insight by looking at things in a variety of ways. For instance, if you see something amiss with Mormonism you may notice that it also applies to your own new faith, if you have one. That is bound to keep your eyes wide open. At the least, you may avoid being hypocritical or blinded, criticizing one religion while your own also has similar issues, if you could only see that. It can be difficult to examine one's own beliefs - once you believe you may not keep going over that ground - but if you look elsewhere and can see parallels it can be enlightening. Some people appreciate that, others not so much or they don't see it or don't accept it at all. But for me it works well. Notice how I don't denigrate adult converts. Cuz I were one. And I don't appreciate being called stupid, or worse, for that. A large part of the responsibility lies with the bait and switch artists. Although I accept my own part as well. I can't take it back but I can learn from it. For instance, I hereby state that God, if there is a god, must by now surely get that I had the intention to be a baptized believer. I've done it often enough. Once, as a baby. Once, as a toddler (which my mother only told me about this week!). So she baptized me Catholic, as a baby in England, and my father wanted me baptized Protestant in Canada where we moved to join him when I was 3. Then as a teen I chose a JW baptism. Years later I took the plunge into a Mormon font. So - God - enough? I am well and truly "wetted" I'd say. And I won't be doing that again.
It can be dicey, talking about this stuff that we do here, to be sure. I hope we can take it as a given that most posters have a degree of fellow feeling for each other. We're all in this together kind of attitude. Having had negative experiences of various kinds. Finding a way to negotiate this life thing that has no individual blueprint to point out the path for us. So in that we're in the same lifeboat. And we can hope that everybody survives it. Whatever it is. And be grateful for the strength we can take from each other.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2019 05:31PM by Nightingale.
Date: June 01, 2019 06:31PM
> ...But it was my own thread
Yes. Being attacked for a topic you started is disheartening. It has a chilling effect on your desire to start another topic, which is a shame. If people don’t like someone’s topic, no need to post on it, just move to the next!
The very first topic I ever posted someone made fun of my question. I hope you will continue posting, Nightingale, and not pay them any attention.
>Notice how I don't denigrate adult converts. Cuz I were one. And I don't appreciate being called stupid, or worse, for that.
Thank you from a fellow convert. :)
> And we can hope that everybody survives it. Whatever it is. And be grateful for the strength we can take from each other.
Indeed. Well said!
Date: June 01, 2019 05:38PM
I just read through that thread, having missed it the first go around.
Your response seemed completely forthright and appropriate given the subject material.
I wish I'd have been here when my children were teenagers and we were for a time taking the missionary lessons following my parents deaths. My daughter was baptized LDS then (following a RLDS baptism several years prior.)
It was the worst decision I could have made for my family ie, allowing ourselves to become entangled again with the cult after leaving it when my children were still in gradeschool.
They sunk their hooks and talons into my daughter and wouldn't let go of her. Using deception and ploys so I wasn't aware of what was going on they had her mail re-directed to the YW leader's house instead of ours until I learned of their manipulation. That was when the SHTF, and we were outta there.
They still wouldn't let go of my daughter, hooks, claws, and talons. The damned cult. If hindsight were 20/20 I would never have returned in the first place. We resigned our membership, but the damage was done, and followed us long after we left there. That is why when I found RfM four years ago I was thankful there was somewhere to vent about the destructive cult.
There really isn't too many people who understand the toxic environment it puts people in, unless you've lived it.
I agree with Cheryl's reasoning. If I were the one asking, it would make perfect sense to me.