QoD's thread on being painted whore reminded me of this one time at band camp when I decided grow facial hair. Actually it was whilst attending a church-operated school (same thing really). We were out for the summer and I was tired of having that clean-cut, wide-eyed, fresh-out-of-high-school, give me a wedgie and take my lunch money please look.

I was aiming for a sort of I donno, classy well-groomed beard. I had never done it before. I looked up styles and settled on three possibilities. A Van Dyke, soul patch, or goatee, not the let yourself go, forgot to shave again, Dr. House on painkillers look. I tried all three types and I liked the results of each. I looked older, more mature and more like Satan as depicted by old silent movies.

Anyway my bishop at the time called me in to his office once he noticed and told me to just shave it off (♫ like a light bulb, just shave it off ♫) or he'd have do "do something about it." I asked him why. I wasn't in school again for months, I argued. He told me, "You look like a pirate. I've had complaints."

Complaints!? What is there a face owners association that doesn't want the value of their own faces to go down if I don't mow my face? Did my facial hair call you at 3 AM and threaten to molest you or something? Did I grow a toothbrush mooustace and start wearing swastikas? Do I make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts?

I know exactly why QoD feels the way she described. Those prudish Nazis did the same thing to me.

So here we are at RfM, painted whores and pirates...basically Port Royal, or Pirates of the Carribean as directed by David Fincher and produced by Penthouse.

Have you ever been called something stupid for a stupid reason? Like wearing an extra earring? Forgetting your sleeves or filling that fountain drink with Lipton tea? Ever been called a painted whore?

I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been called a Dalek or a Species 8427. ;)

Rebeckah-

I died laughing when I saw your reply. The two part episode of Voyager, where they encounter Species 8427, is the one I watch every time my mormon parent leaves after a visit. And if things are going downhill or she's acting crazy someone always says 'scorpion' (after the story told in the episode/'bridge to chakotay, scorpion'). Yep. Gotta love some Species 8427 (in fluidic space!) just for the 'scorpion' story.

When the mormon says my partner's appearance is 'un-American' we say scorpion. When the mormon says that my enhanced by donut consumption sized boobs show happy bosom via a tank top and it is 'immodest to show such skin' we say scorpion. I look like the girl next door and date the nicest most never mormon looking man on the face of the planet- so we say 'scorpion' a lot when the mormon comes to visit. After this thread though I am dying to throw my partner into a room full of mormons just for the resulting youtube video.

Thanks for the laugh.

Now I need to look up that episode because I don't remember the scorpion reference!

That's okay, though, 'cause Chakotay is hot. :D

You are welcome. Here you go:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion_%28Star_Trek:_Voyager%29

I'll take a pirate over an effeminate, clean shaven Elders Quorum President without even checking references. ; )

I don't recall many specific names, but I was chastised by peers and adults on occasion.

Once over a song that alluded to sex in one verse. Gasp!

Once over the second piercing in my ear (which I've had since elementary school). Actually, I was called a rebel over that. Ha! A rebel!

Many times because I wore ribbed tanks whilst moving pipe.

I wonder what people call me now? Weak minded? Lazy? Worldy?

gawd, I love to see scantily clad women straining and sweating! :P

WORLDLY, because I chose law school instead of punching out a litter for the cult.

Liberal, brave, LOL! For wearing pantsuits to church instead of a dress. Apparently in my last ward many women looked up to me because I was brave to wear a pantsuit. My thought was--do clothes really matter that much? I'd rather wear a pantsuit when chasing after kids, it's easier and more comfortable. I wasn't trying to be different or brave, I was just being me.

all comments meant to be perjorative but to which I agreed with a big smile and a nod. Thank goodness - yep that's me all right!

Briggy

I won't go into the reasons why I was called that. Should I be proud? I don't feel ashamed at all.

..and when I left the church, my wife divorced me...she could not help but call me a "bastard..cuz that's what you were at birth..a bastard, a loser, who I knew would leave the church some day."

I love that sporting a well-groom patch of hair got you called a pirate, MiB. That cracks me up.

And your pirates-and-painted-whores analogy of RfM is hilarious

Bravo!

Your face offends me.

because he'd slept with 3 women before he met me. I wonder what 4 would've made him?

How (and why) would an SP even have this information? It's none of his friggin' business.

Ever since high school I've been called a rebel. I guess they're right after all I rebelled when I refused to go on a mission. And I've worn a beard for decades. And I don't give two shits about what the mormons in town think.

GLAJ

Ex-wife and I were in custody dispute and now ex-MIL decided the right thing for her to do was stand up in F&T meeting and tell the brethren satan was after her granddaughter. What a great grandma.

That was back in 2002. I ended up winning custody and MIL had a stroke in '06 and died in '08.

A thread about how you left because you were offended. Well, I'm sorry you were offended. Over and over and over and over.

I'm sorry that Mormons are so offensive to keep on offending you over and over and over and over.

Won't you please come back to church so that you can continue to be offended over and over and over?

Yes, I actually had a bishop tell me that.

I didn't know such a thing was possible...

It's kind of scary when you meet people who think there's such a thing as thinking too much.

Come to think of it, I've been told that by a few Christians as well. lol!

After I put the bishops son in the hospital,,spent time in jail for it,,I was told I was "unworthy" to be in the"church". I could list many other names and prejudging. Only the mormons have so many derogatory and negitive names and labels. And they call it a "religion". One of the favorites was,,You know you are not,,,,

"Nothing worse than a foul-mouthed woman."

Really? Nothing?

Well, on the other side of the story, I was called a lesbian by a few of the men in college I wouldn't sleep with (because of church standards, you know...and maybe a few other reasons!).

I was one of the very few people in the church fired from my temple calling because of my inability to bow down to the matrons' authority.

My mom called my little family, "The sinking Titanic"

I cannot recall ever being called a bad name, but I was given advice, once.

Bro.D, you are not allowed to roll up your shirt sleeves. The tattoos on your arms might invite satan in.

Really, WTF? Blow it up your ass Bishop.

The ward members call me INACTIVE. They say it like it is a bad thing. To me it is a compliment.

Mormons haven't called me many bad names. Usually I am only considered a bad influence. Occasionally they have called me sexy.

On RfM, however, I've been called a TBM troll more times than I can count. Also, apparently I am someone's long term stalker, and was even banned once because of the suspicion.

My mother called me a rebel because I always questioned rules that didn't make sense. I think she was kind of ambivelent about it. She didn't entirely disapprove but she was also worried about it.

But we thought it was funny. :)