I didn't want to hijack a thread about the 1970s and the 1980s. A long time ago when the church had semi-interesting activities (like roadshows, speech and dance festivals) non-members would attend. During intermissions, some of them would exit the cultural hall and gather in the foyer. A few would bring their own thermos and use a paper cup for their coffee. (Really, not everybody wants to have cookies and punch~ many like their java). What a lot of members (the ushers) failed to do was to stop people from lighting up their cigarettes and even a cigar in the foyer! At the time, Mormons were more concerned about being good hosts and only worried about keeping folks out of their sacred chapel. The following day, there would be smashed up butts on the sidewalk in front of the main entrance.

Now my Grandmother was a regular visitor to my ward, but she never wanted to join. After we would arrive at church, she would walk to the corner sidewalk for a puff before sitting through the 3 hour block. She thought that she was being conscientious of folks that do not smoke. So as she was smoking away next to a light post, a car pulled up and rolled down the window. It was one of the cantankerous older members that probably thought he was doing his good deed of the day.

"What do you think you're doing? You can't smoke here. This is the Mormon Church. We don't permit smoking in the parking lot."

My Grandmother's response was classic. "Ok dear. I'll stop smoking here and I'll gladly light up right next to the door. It's a bit chilly standing next to this light post."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2019 03:04PM by messygoop.

I know a nurse, who when she first moved to Utah got a job doing blood drives in outlying communities. Her first drive was in a small, not particularly LDS town a couple hundred miles from SLC. It was being held in the local LDS ward house.

Ok, fine. She shows up in the morning with a cup of Starbucks finest. She was informed that drinking coffee in the foyer was not permissible. After her initial WTF reaction, she went out into the parking lot and finished her coffee.

Then she came in and threw the coffee cup into the trash can. That's when she was informed that a coffee cup in the trash was also not pleasing unto The Lard. She fished it out and put it in her car.

Welcome to Utah.

LOL! I wonder how pleasing her needle was unto the Mormons, after that!

I can't believe that a blood drive would be sanctioned for a non-Mormon purpose. When Houston flooded, the church received flak over not opening their stake centers for flood victims.

In small Utah towns where the only halls in town are the ward cultural hall, and the school gym, the Church will allow things like blood drives. The school gyms are being used during the day.

A couple years ago there was a fire in the canyon going from I-80 to Kamas UT, and the local stake center was opened as an emergency shelter for evacuees. That was unusual, but the fire came up quickly, and there were not a lot of options, so I'll give them a brownie point for doing the right thing there.

"This is the Mormon Church, and we are entitle to be rude!"

I had barely moved to Utah, and was early to an appointment, so I drove up to the street to the Bountiful temple, to see the view. The place was deserted. There were no cars in the parking lot. I stopped in the long painted road section at view side of the parking lot, turned off the motor, rolled down the window, to relax and breathe. Since no one was there, I didn't pull into one of the painted diagonal parking spaces, which would have been too far from the view edge.

A woman in a suburban came up behind me. I didn't move, because the painted road had two "lanes" to pass, plus it was only painted lines, and the entire parking lot opened up on that side. The suburban did not pass me, but stopped behind me, waited, gunned the motor, then leaned on the horn! I rolled down the window, and put my arm out, and waved her to pass me. She still would not budge. I figured that she would eventually realize that we were the only two cars in a giant parking lot, and pull past me, which she did. She screeched past me as fast as she could, and gave me the finger!

Yeah, "Welcome to Utah" is what I thought, too. Mormons feel entitled to be rude, as long as they do their temple work, and don't smoke, and don't cross an imaginary painted line to pass.

Love, and kindness to others is not taught in Mormonism.

Good on your grandmother!!! I love her reply!

Great story, MWK

A not-timid-in-the-least-elderly-family-member residing in a small town in Southern Utah, when the call went out in her Relief Society meeting for sisters to contact their neighbors for needed coffee cans for a craft project, stood up and loudly said, "Now we know that most members won't have to bother their neighbors for the coffee cans".

The story goes that this lady did not beat around the bush. She had her tight circle of friends, but the rest of the town could go to hell.

I was served cookies at her home and it was quite the experience as they were made with bacon grease. I managed to gag one down.

I didn't know the Lord had to take out the trash too!
Maybe that was key to the every member a janitor revelation?

But yes, welcome to mormonsville where MY opinion is a direct revelation from God.

Maybe Dusty Rusty will have a revelation with his lighted pen that cleaning toilets isn't what members are supposed to be doing... Still can't figure out what else to call them since apparently Gawd doesn't like Mormon or LDS anymore.

Most church members --- at least those that are active & speak english --- live West of the mississippi.


some I think are beginning to resent all his globe-trotting (First Class or a private jet (Huntsman???), No Doubt)