Posted by:
Lafayette
(
)
Date: October 18, 2019 04:07PM
They have been bugging me lately. Classmates, doctor, teachers.
I have asperger and ADD like I have written before. I just want to be alone and study on my own. But the rules are the same for everybody so we have to be social in our work. It feels like crap when I leave my state of hyperfocus to switch study material for another seminar. Time after time... yuck!
Today I could not stand it any longer. I was forced this week into writing a work with another student and it feels like being locked into a room and the air is going out. I do not hate people but I can only study with focus. No other way I can get information into my tiny brain with a working memory like the size of nothing. I was trapped, feeling sick, could not find words. Left my task and asked being unlisted from the programme.
They have been on me lately. Bugging me. I am not going to kill myself even if I feel self-hatred and gloom.
It feels like there is a conspiracy. They recruit each other and I only understand hours or days later that it was a set-up.
I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF!