Posted by:
Happy Divorced Mom
(
)
Date: October 28, 2019 04:50AM
I love your story, Recovered Molly Mo! It makes me so happy to read it!
I can't believe your ex gave up his great family life, just for the cult--what a fool! He's still living the life of a fool, allowing himself to be bullied by his roommate and by the Mormon cult. Your husband might be more than "exhausted". He might be depressed. Mormonism does that to you, especially if you are single.
The Mormons in your ex's life are probably pushing him to get married. Aren't you glad that you don't have that unnecessary added stress in your life! He chose the cult, and he's living with it, and with an arrogant Mormon roommate. He has the worst of the world you left behind, and you took the best with you.
For your children's sake, I'm glad your children's relationships with their father have improved, but I wonder if the credit belongs to your wonderful children. My children turned out great, also, and they chose to try to keep contact with their father, who completely abandoned them emotionally, financially, and physically, and didn't see them or contact them at all for the first 5 years after he ran off. He was becoming more and more abusive, the longer we were married. He continues to treat our children like dirt, and also our grandchildren. My adult children did not take their kids to California to see him this summer, like they usually do. Your ex and his roommate don't seem to be much fun to be around, either, so don't be surprised if your children want to see him less and less, as that would be natural.
I'm glad you came out of your marriage with some self-esteem left. You understand that you were not to blame for your ex's craziness. I was not so fortunate. My ex blamed me and our children and the US Government and the Mormon church and the Lutheran church and our neighbors, and everybody else, but himself. I had to go to a therapist, I felt like such a looser. The truth was that my husband had been cheating on me since the first week of our marriage, and I did not have a clue. Well, when my ex would call me "gullible", he was right about that.
It was just like you said--the happy, successful children, the well-kept house and yard, the smooth-running life was all me! I laughed when you wrote that all the clutter and dirt went away when your ex moved out! LOL! My ex's formerly-nice house by the beach is now so filthy that my kids don't like taking their children into it, even for a short time. They meet at a restaurant, instead. My ex and his woman live with 5 dogs, all not house-trained. Instead of stepping up and helping support his children, he gambled away a lot of his money, and he is losing his house. The buyers will tear down the house completely. The kids and I worked hard to maintain our house, which I bought myself, and we have made some nice upgrades. My children now own their own homes, nearby, and they have put their home-improvement skills to work on those, also.
An accurate parallel can be drawn between the care of our houses and our lives.
I wonder if our ex's had a destiny to fulfill--to become true to the grumpy slobs that they always were. Maybe they knew they were losers, and that's why they always accused everyone else of being losers. I'm so glad my children got away from that, before they became teen-agers, or my ex might have done even more damage to them. All's well that ends well.
Hm-m-m. My ex is a Trump-supporter, too.