Date: November 05, 2019 12:00PM
My four year old daughter and I spent this last weekend with my VERY TBM parents. We were on neutral turf in a city where none of us live, but, of course, my parents attended church on Sunday.
My mom asked my daughter if she wanted to go, and my daughter's response was, "What's church?"
My mom explained that its a place where we go to worship Heavenly Father and Jesus, and my daughter, still very confused, asked, "What's Jesus?"
Being BIC, at four I'm sure I could have rattled off all sorts of canned answers that would have made my mother glow with pride. I think at that age I knew some of the easier Articles of Faith, had given several talks in Primary, and could sing most of the Junior Primary songs unprompted.
I'm so thankful for the better life I'm giving my daughter. Instead of Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam we sing the Eagles and George Strait and Eye of the Tiger. On Sundays we go to parks and museums and have FUN. We read good books (not boring fiction like the BOM and the Bible). My kid is kind and loving and smart -- all without any belief in a god.
I don't know how many generations my family has been in the Church, but some go back to the very beginning with Joseph Smith. I'm happy that I'm the "pioneer" who is breaking this cycle of brainwashing.
Date: November 06, 2019 04:38AM
Some of the best conversations with my parents were when they would take turns driving me to school. How sad that the stupid BPM nonsense took the place of that opportunity for you.
I miss the art of conversation. I loved sitting in my living room, talking with my parents and siblings about life, science, adventures, relationships, the world, good books, movies, and humor. This is what makes a family close, not the Mormon church. When the Mormons tried to push more "family home evening" onto us, with a MANUAL, my (religious TBM) parents set a boundary. No one was going to tell them what we should talk about! Mom and Dad just laughed, and said that every night was family home evening at our house.
I'm sure you are very close to your four-year-old, because you are giving her unconditional love, and raising her in Truth, and not allowing a sick cult to tell you how to raise her.
I'm sure your TBM family will talk about your daughter's "not-knowing" for a long time, but, ask yourself if your TBM family knows what unconditional love is.
No matter what happens, your little girl will soon know more than your parents will ever know.
Date: November 07, 2019 10:47PM
I've never been able to have a real conversation with my mother, and it makes me sad. I strive to be a better mother than the one I had. She is very over reactive, and any little thing she disapproves of results in a rant about what I did wrong -- from what I ate for lunch to who I hang out with to what I do on Sundays. Given the chance to do it over, I'd still read the BOM in the car rather than face her judgement.
I was, however, blessed to have another woman in my life who I think of as my other mother. She is the one that would answer my hard questions. My teenage years would have been a disaster without her. I'm so thankful for her every day, and sad that I can't share things with my own mother. I've been around long enough to know that you can't change another person, and she will always be as she is. Being TBM just made it worse.
Date: November 06, 2019 09:48AM
I'm sure mine is.
I type a hospital in Canada and, lately, I've been doing palliative care reports and you wouldn't believe how many people have no religious affiliation and want no "end of life" care from a religious person. They are way ahead of us in this department.
I didn't know much of anything except stories from primary when I was 4 years old. My parents may have discussed church, but never talked about the book of mormon. We had prayer at meals and we had a nightly prayer, which was more just bless everyone.
I can say this just as something that was funny in the family. My dad for some reason would always call my little sister to give the prayer at dinner. He'd look around the table and always end up on her. It went on for so long and he didn't even notice, that we would all start giggling when he'd call on her again, and then he just kept doing it to make her throw a little fit and she still had to say it.
My parents were failures at raising good little mormons. Most of us are out. Only my daughter, of all things, is a mormon of all their grandkids and great grandkids. Two of the siblings go, but one is disabled and my sister doesn't believe much of it, but goes. Her husband likes her to. She refuses to live in Utah because of the mormons. None of her friends are mormons.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/06/2019 09:50AM by cl2.