For Saucie: Me! (yeah, I know, boooorrrrriiiinnnnggg)
For Lot's wife: a comfier bra
For Done & Done: a ticket to Funky-Town
For the Lethbridge Reprobate: a fully automatic, voice-activated clay-target thrower
For ookami: a six-pack of Chutzpah
For Catnip: Todo lo que tu deseas, mi amigita
For ziller: a bottle of stripper-pole degreasing spray
For Beth: an assortment of fertile duck eggs to bond with as she sits on them this winter
For Concrete Zipper: A book on how to judge contests and a calendar
For Don Bagley: Good times!
For Nightengale: Six free Catechism lessons
For Praydude: A free weekend at the Gaslight Motel in Fremont, CA
For Bobofitz: a dozen Precept 'wee lassie' golf balls, designed for the 'dainty' driver in every man
For Dave the atheist: A free train ride to Heaven
For Messygoop: Freedom of religion
For Kori/SchrodingersCat: An empty box ...
For Twinker: a Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass
For Summer: A custom-fitted birch 'board of education'
For RichardtheBad: a subscription to informative daily emails from the Science section of the Daily Mail
For GNPE: An Abercrombie & Fitch 'peekaboo' loincloth
For Topper: An arrow that always points up
For caffiend: A Monarch typewriter, like P.G. Wodehouse used, onto which he loaded a 100' roll of paper so he could type for a week without stopping.
For Tevai: A Holy Grail tea set, with a Chabad tea cozy
For Wally Prince: a scale of humor calibrator, with an 'over-the-top' alarm
For 6 iron: a season pass to all the 2020 Hermosillo Hornets hockey games
For MeMikeYouNot: Less patience, more outrage
For Susan I/S: another year of bear necessities
Elder Berry: ... who?
Human & Henry Bemis: Matching golf sweaters
For the Desertrat: two 36 exposure rolls of ektachrome E100 35mm film
For Erik K: A great run to the Finnish line!
Desertwoman: A green $25 Thunderbird Hotel casino chip
For Judic West: Get a life, you freeloader!!!!
For Judy Quest: Absence makes your fish a flounder
For Jordan: the gift of Wonderment! The acceptance of ignorance
I apologize for not making up something for each of you. Once I got interrupted by a call to nature, then I had a bite to eat, then I got up to do something but forgot what it was and wandered for a bit, and now I'm going to take a nap...
I am heartily grateful to say that since about the first week in October I absolutely and resolutely enjoy all of you here, even Jordan, because he is absolutely no skin off my nose.
to all of you: May the Bird of Festivus lay the egg of happiness in the bosom of your navel in 2020.
elderolddog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > For Saucie: Me! (yeah, I know, > boooorrrrriiiinnnnggg) > > For Lot's wife: a comfier bra > > For Done & Done: a ticket to Funky-Town > > For the Lethbridge Reprobate: a fully automatic, > voice-activated clay-target thrower > > For ookami: a six-pack of Chutzpah > > For Catnip: Todo lo que tu deseas, mi amigita > > For ziller: a bottle of stripper-pole degreasing > spray > > For Beth: an assortment of fertile duck eggs to > bond with as she sits on them this winter > > For Concrete Zipper: A book on how to judge > contests and a calendar > > For Don Bagley: Good times! > > For Nightengale: Six free Catechism lessons > > For Praydude: A free weekend at the Gaslight Motel > in Fremont, CA > > For Bobofitz: a dozen Precept 'wee lassie' golf > balls, designed for the 'dainty' driver in every > man > > For Dave the atheist: A free train ride to > Heaven > > For Messygoop: Freedom of religion > > For Kori/SchrodingersCat: An empty box ... > > For Twinker: a Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass > > For Summer: A custom-fitted birch 'board of > education' > > For RichardtheBad: a subscription to informative > daily emails from the Science section of the Daily > Mail > > For GNPE: An Abercrombie & Fitch 'peekaboo' > loincloth > > For Topper: An arrow that always points up > > For caffiend: A Monarch typewriter, like P.G. > Wodehouse used, onto which he loaded a 100' roll > of paper so he could type for a week without > stopping. > > For Tevai: A Holy Grail tea set, with a Chabad > tea cozy > > For Wally Prince: a scale of humor calibrator, > with an 'over-the-top' alarm > > For 6 iron: a season pass to all the 2020 > Hermosillo Hornets hockey games > > For MeMikeYouNot: Less patience, more outrage > > For Susan I/S: another year of bear necessities > > Elder Berry: ... who? > > Human & Henry Bemis: Matching golf sweaters > > For the Desertrat: two 36 exposure rolls of > ektachrome E100 35mm film > > For Erik K: A great run to the Finnish line! > > Desertwoman: A green $25 Thunderbird Hotel casino > chip > > For Judic West: Get a life, you freeloader!!!! > > For Judy Quest: Absence makes your fish a > flounder > > For Jordan: the gift of Wonderment! The > acceptance of ignorance > > > > I apologize for not making up something for each > of you. Once I got interrupted by a call to > nature, then I had a bite to eat, then I got up to > do something but forgot what it was and wandered > for a bit, and now I'm going to take a nap... > > I am heartily grateful to say that since about the > first week in October I absolutely and resolutely > enjoy all of you here, even Jordan, because he is > absolutely no skin off my nose. > > to all of you: May the Bird of Festivus lay the > egg of happiness in the bosom of your navel in > 2020.
I get Elderolddog.... He puts christmas in my heart every day.
Close but no cigar. A cousin on the board once called Lot's Wife an "effing bitch," which seemed a typo or two away from the truth. Thus was born Ineffable B*tch.
As for your surmise, the answer probably lies in each individual's preferences!
Thank you for remembering me and for the green $25 Thunderbird Hotel casino chip. I apologize for being very late in replying because of a whole lot o' long story stuff that came up in December that occupied my time and thoughts, culminating in the assembling of a shed (My "Little House") in My Hot Man's backyard. We're in our late 60s, so we're entirely worn out from the assembly process which took nearly a week. Needless to say, we gots more to do, so, unfortunately, I may miss a lot more of RfM, which I hate missing. Tell your Saucie we appreciate the two o' you.
But it was appropriate enough, as I've always favored over-the-top humor over under-the-bottom humor. Butt I'm not above under-the-bottom humor whenever random flatulence is involved.
I've been wondering what would be a good gift for an old dog who already has everything.
Then it occurred to me that a dog can never have too many chew toys, so I've prepared a gift basket full of the following chew toys for you:
The Nelson chew toy. When you squeeze it once, it squeaks out "I'm not a Mormon!". If you squeeze it twice in rapid succession, it squeaks out: "Take your vitamins!"
An Ensign Peak chew toy. Bite it and it squeaks out: "100 billion dog biscuits for me!"
An Eyring chew toy: Bite it and it says: "Nepotism!"
An Oaks chew toy: Squeeze it and it squeaks out: "Salamanders are sacred!"
All of the above, plus as a special bonus, a set of used temple garments to chew on.
The gift basket will be going out by UPS (Unjustified Prophet Sustainage) soon. It'll be the best Christmas ever!
I did, indeed, get everything I wanted: a quiet day spent with the guy I love, and the evening before that, a marvelous visit with my son and my granddaughters!
Son actually felt pretty awful, as he usually does, after dialysis, but even his less-than-usually-ebullient presence was a gift. He is surviving the hereditary renal failure that killed his grandfather when I was only 15. Back then, nothing could be done.
But I still have my boy, and as always, it was a treat to wrap my arms around him, and his daughters.
Anything else - besides the people and cats that I love - is pocket change.
EOD, even though I wasn't a gift recipient, I am giving you my dad's "The Lamanite Generation" (featuring such gems as "Navajo Baby and "Go My Son") record as soon as I can steal it from him.
Shades of Mormon marginalization from the couples world. I feel a PTSD attack being triggered...no, false alarm.
Thank God, my life has been fast-forwarded out of Mormonism and is now almost into 2020!
'Tis the season to avoid people who brag about their lovers. There are certain Christmas letters and e-mails I don't open until after New Year's, and I open them at the office, along with the bills. Happiness is worth preserving.
Happy Holidays to all you single people out there!
You are sweet, caffiend. I was just kidding about not being included, as most of RFM was excluded, also. It was a joke. But it wasn't a joke at the time I was marginalized and shunned. It really hurt at first.
I don't have anything against lovers--how wonderful they are in the world, to balance out a lot of the bad stuff! Mothers certainly are lovers! Sometimes, I wish the sex partners would get a room, that's all.
It's just my PTSD talking. Avoidance is how I stay happy during Christmas, and New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day. It's my preference, just like we all have different tastes in music. There are some songs I prefer not to listen to, just because of bad memories, and there's nothing wrong with the song.