Date: January 01, 2020 12:26AM
A certain cop was known to get cheap arrests by hiding in an alley a half-block from a tavern. He'd wait for a drunk to drive off, pull him over, and arrest him.
One night at closing time the cop saw a guy stagger out of the bar, and stumble to a car. He slipped and fell twice, dropped his keys, revved the engine unnecessarily, and put his wipers on by mistake. He then pulled out into traffic, but drove very legally--too legally.
The cop pulled him over. The man had trouble getting his license, slurred his words and spoke evasively. He failed the 9-step walk-and-turn and other field sobriety tests. The cop confiscated his car keys and license, cuffed him, and drove him to the precinct house.
There, the man spoke normally and cooperated politely with the booking. He agreed to take the breathalyzer, and blew a 0.0. The cop recalibrated the machine, and the man still blew 0.0. This happened two more times.
"I can't figure it out," the cop said. "You're drunk as a skunk, but I can't get a reading! How much did you drink?"
"Not two rum and Cokes?"
"Nope, two Cokes. You see, I drove off so you could follow and arrest me. That allowed all my friends to get to their cars and drive off without interference. You see, Officer, I'm the 'designated drunk.' Can I go home now?"
Dave the Atheist
Date: January 01, 2020 12:35AM
"In 525, a monk known as Dionysius Exiguus set out to determine the date of Easter and created a system of labeling years based on the date he thought Jesus Christ was born (a date that's considered historically inaccurate today). But he didn't account for the years before the birth of Jesus.
That was done in 731 by a monk known as the Venerable Bede. Bede counted the years before Christ and established the BC era, but he didn't include a year zero in his calculations. Which means that the year before 1 AD was 1 BC.
Because there's no year 0 in the calendar, the first year was complete at the end of year 1, not at its beginning.
By that same logic, the first decade in the calendar was complete at the end of 10 CE, or 10 AD.
Which means, according to the Farmers' Almanac, that the end of this decade is December 31, 2020, not December 31, 2019."
Date: January 01, 2020 10:52AM
What makes January 1 special? It's an arbitrary demarcation of our time line. February 29 comes once every four years--more worthy of celebration. It's earned the honor, so to speak.
I went down to the Christian Science Mother Church and heard a nice organ recital.* Bought some wings to go, came home and ate. My wife and daughters were out with their own agedae. I wrote, researched mutual funds, put in some orders, wrote some more, and listened to a radio station's classical-music "countdown."
Beethoven's 9th didn't make the #1 spot this year--rather, it was Dvorak's.
*A very good attendance--a lot more than they see on any Sunday!