2003 I got married in the temple and divorced 11 months later in 2004. I got remarried in 2007 and unsealed and resealed to my second husband in 2008. I have resigned in 2013 from the lds church. 2018 I get a letter in the mail from a bishop that my ex husband wants to get sealed to his current wife. I write a nice note and mail it to the bishop that my ex husband can get sealed. Yesterday my husband gets an email from my ex husband over linked in that he needs our divorce decree so that he and his current wife can adopt a baby. For heavens sake we have been divorced for over 15 years! Leave me alone. Since he is already re married he knows how to get our divorce decree no reason to contact my current husband. Before we got married we had talked about having children together. After we got married he said that he never wanted to have children that was one of our main reasons for the divorce. Now all those feelings of being lied to are coming back up again and I am not sure how to deal with it. Any advice?
Beer is what saved civilization and beer can save your mental equilibrium! Okay, not really...
I’m guessing your ex just wanted to throw some sand in your gears via this announcement of impending fatherhood. We can all hope that for the child’s sake he does a decent job of it.
Other than that, the comings and goings of ex-spouses ought not to impinge on our quality of life. The only thought that should be present when one thinks of an ex is “Fuck’em if he/she can’t take a joke!”
Don't respond.You don't share kids. You don't believe in his BS church crap. Just don't respond. And I sure wouldn't send personal documents to him. Your husband needs to not engage as well. Ignore. Or to add to Elderolddog, Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish.
So I went online and googled his name I found out that he got married a second time in 2007 and divorced in 2011 to a person who used to be an exchange student in his house. She attended our wedding and he considered her his sister. I guess he did it to help her get a green card she is from Venezuela. He is third wife has an open blog online and I read she is 44 years old with 2 children ages 20 and 22. Ex husband is 43. Well now they want to adopt. Hmm the second wife would need to also send him their divorce decree.
The nice thing about not having children with someone you divorce is that you never have to have anything to do with them again. My sister never sees her ex-husband as they had no kids. The rest of us who divorced, HAVE to see our ex's all the time.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2020 08:52PM by cl2.
The fact that he contacted your Husband and not you is BS. So rude. He was given the same paperwork you were. If he can't keep track of it that is his problem. I bet he does have it and just wants to get a dig in. If he doesn't, he sure knows how to get it. If he doesn't know how to get it, he is too stupid to adopt. I would just delete him and if he does it again I would block him.
Hey anon4this, I think most people would be upset. It's so dismissive. You are an adult and his business is with you not your husband. He didn't have his wife make the contact lol. That alone says so much about him. Consider yourself well off. I doubt he will try for a second contact if he does, blow it off. Not worth your time. Be happy, it drives people like this cray :)
To put it another way, your ex-husband is a Narcissist (or psychopath) who is looking for more "supply" from you. Narcissists collect people to suck dry. I also agree that he wants to hurt you by throwing it in your face that he now wants children with his latest wife. Why did he contact your husband, instead of you, I'm not sure, but one poster said he is probably passive-aggressive. Maybe he wants to cause trouble between your husband and you. He's a crazy Mormon, so who can guess what he is thinking. Block him. I think divorce decrees are public records, and anyone at all can get a copy from the county courthouse, but I'm not sure of that, either.
The only thing to be sure of is to keep your boundary, and maintain NO CONTACT with your ex. Even the slightest contact, even through your husband, will feed your ex's supply, and he will continue to contact you, for the rest of your life. I've seen this happen, and with an ex-wife as well as an ex-husband. Beware.
court records. He doesn't need to ask you. We had to sue my sister over money she spent that was our disabled brother's and she had all the trust fund records. My other sister was able to call the law office and they directed her to the place she needed to go to get a copy and she did. If he has lost his copy, he has other resources.
I agree with others. He wants YOUR attention. He wants to disrupt your life for some weird reason. Does he still have a "thing" for you?